To get an overwhelming sense of danger from a stranger?

[ThisIsCheese]

The weirdest thing just happened. I’m in the supermarket and as I’m stood selected and bagging vegetables I suddenly feel very uncomfortable.
There is a man about 50 something stood with his elderly mother a few feet away to the side of me and I felt very sick and uncomfortable when I looked at him.
Absolutely no reason for it but it was overwhelming, like a sense of fear he was not a good man.

Completely clueless why I felt that way I moved along quickly but I crossed paths with him again in another aisle and knew he was there before I saw him because the sick / anxious feeling returned.

Anyone else ever had this? I don’t have anxiety or anything but this feeling was so odd, like I could sense he wasn’t a good person.

Never met him before, he could be perfectly lovely but my physical reaction to him was so strong

I've mentioned this before but a student in a group I taught gave me that visceral warning feeling. He was only young but I didn't feel quite safe with him and was always really careful not to be left alone in a room with him (it's not advised anyway but sometimes happens if someone has a question etc). Part of me thought I was maybe being unfair, until I found out a while later that he had violently raped a woman and was now in prison.

I really dislike the use of the word "gross" to mean "something i strongly disagree with". It means disgusting in a sensory way - smells awful, looks vile etc. I've only heard the Woke try to use it any other way and we know the issues they're currently causing women.

It's better to give a reasoned argument regarding why you disagree than just slap people down with irrational labelling of perfectly reasonable viewpoints.

"But yes my fathers mood could turn in a nanosecond so we all were "on alert" as a result."

My dads mood is still quite volatile. He gave me the danger feeling a lot as a kid, when I would just know to be quiet and behave or else. It was like a black cloud would appear over him, iyswim. My grandad and stepdad too, but I wasn't afraid of them the same way (I didn't see them as authority figures, but knew they'd shout and give my mum/gran a hard time if I pushed too far). It's the same sort of "get ready to run" feeling my ex and the creepy window cleaner give me.

As an adult non of my male relatives scare me anymore, (unless I'm in the car with my dad while he's driving, when I sometimes fear he'll get so worked up, he'll crash).

My ex scared the shit out of me when he lived here, but then he was destructive, violent, having frequent psychotic episodes at one point, and I think loosing touch with reality in general. It was awful when he'd come home some days, and I'd take one look at him and think "oh ffs, here we go again", before he'd even said a word, just like when I lived at home, and I'd do the same with my various male relatives, only ex's behaviour was 100x worse.

I wonder if I am hypervigilant now as a result of all this? I find it really hard to relax, and am always tense. I used to get severe shakes from random adrenaline rushes, when I felt threatened, though that's eased now. It's quite hard to sneak up on me (I'll often sense my cat come into the room, look up and yup, there she is), or know when I'm being watched.

If so, it's not a bad silver lining, but not worth years of walking on egg shells to develop. Although I do think with some people, it's more inate? Maybe people with anxiety are also hypervigilant but for different reasons, etc?

I had something kind of similar with a fundraiser from Cancer Research who knocked on the door. It was raining so I invited him to stand just inside the door and instantly regretted it. He was only young (early 20s) and weedy looking - not physically intimidating in any way but something made me feel uncomfortable.

I started making my excuses and asking him to leave and then he said "just you at home is it?" which really scared me. I lied and said my Oh was upstairs but I could tell he didn't believe me. I managed to get him out of the door and locked it, but then he went round to the back door and starred knocking there which I ignored. Then he started knocking on all the windows both front and back. I was terrified and rang my OH who was at work 10 mins away. He and a colleague left their work immediately to come and help me/scare the guy off but after a few minutes I heard no more knocking.

When my OH arrived home our next door neighbour was outside and told OH he had seen the guy knocking and walking round the house, got very suspicious and told him in no uncertain terms to F off. OH and I were both very grateful, and that neighbour turned out to be such a great guy who helped us in a few horrible situations, including being burgled. We were only in our early 20s and our families lived at the other end of the country as we had moved for work, so it was nice to know someone was keeping an eye out for us.

There is also evidence though that certain looks can have an impact on how we perceive individuals, e.g. symmetry of the face can have an impact on how we react to someone at first sight.

I am very much a person who does take people on first impressions and if I don’t take to someone then it’s highly unlikely that my opinion will change and I am rarely wrong about people if I consider them to be not very nice for instance for whatever reason.

Also, I have been in situations where I have sensed something bad might happen e.g. one day a man delivered a parcel to my house, he brought the box in and then backed into the door so it closed behind him. I was terrified and asked what he was playing at. He said something about not wanting the dogs to escape just as they came out of the lounge, and I didn’t believe him for a second but as there were dogs there he hastily left.

But there is a difference between saying that you had an uneasy feeling about someone and that you know with all certainty (as some have on this thread) that someone was pure evil without having any actual evidence other than a gut instinct to go on at that point.

I mean there’s even someone who says she has a bad feeling about a caretaker because he dares to know children’s names and who has been urged to tell someone how she feels because “you can never be too careful.” .

We had a teacher who I never liked who was ultimately dismissed for abusing children. But my dislike wasn’t born out of pure instinct, he was a creepy fucker who would come up behind you and put his hands over your shoulders and I disliked the very core of him. But it wasn’t just instinct, there was some element of who he was which put me off, iyswim. Similarly however I had a family member who my dog took an instant dislike to for reasons we have never been able to explain. That was over twenty years ago and he has never been accused or convicted or suspected of any kind of wrongdoing so it’s just unexplained and could be put down to someone or some animal just not liking another individual.

I was lagging behind a bit, daydreaming and in my only little world, and suddenly this man just came out of nowhere. I looked up, caught eye contact, and in that moment I think I felt the most scared I ever have in my life, before or since! I can't even describe it, it was just this overwhelming feeling of RUN. I just screamed, to get the attention of my DF ahead, and just ran away, only to hear him shout "I didn't do anything, I didn't touch her, I didn't touch her" over and over again. I just felt like he was going to reach out and grab me

That surely, though, was just the normal reaction of a daydreaming child who suddenly realised she was in danger of being separated from the herd - not necessarily that the man was creepy or meant you any harm...?

@Gnitiman, the bus with the bomb in Tavistock Square was the one my friend got to work every morning.
The morning of the bombing her alarm didn't go off and she missed the bus.

Who is JC?!

Jeremy Corben?

Jiminy Cricket?

Six-legged little git.

Knew he was no good.

I just sensed it.

@SrSteveOskowski bloody hell... I had a friend in the tube carriage. He was just about OK, physically at least (burned, but everyone to his left died) He helped a girl through it and out. She then got on the Tavistock Square bus and died. That messed the poor bloke up more than anything, I think.

@Graphista very eloquent post and yes, I've met many hcp and therapists who've come from difficult backgrounds or family situations, it does make sense. I also loved Lie to Me! Found it absolutely fascinating.

NoCauseRebel - .... I mean there’s even someone who says she has a bad feeling about a caretaker because he dares to know children’s names

That's me your being sarky about. Don't twist my posts to get your points across.

Thanks. Yes it's something I'm hearing more from people in certain roles.

As I said my first awareness of the research into why was that Oprah episode which I saw just before starting my nurse training.

Nurse training was a revelation in several ways, some inadvertent, some part of the training. It was intense when certain things led to people having sudden realisations about their lives and why they do certain things. And not always the obvious more predictable triggers - which the lecturers etc were prepared for to a degree.

For context this was over 20 years ago when certain aspects of family relationships were very much not yet understood.

One student was quite a stoic type generally and not one to be easily affected by the more emotional side, but she was blindsided by one lecture on weirdly enough Maslow's hierarchy of need.

It was because she had the shock realisation that her parents had met her & her siblings basic needs but no more than that.

Its hard to explain but the realisations several of us experienced as a result of training definitely made us bond.

Yes.
I didn't like him at all.
But I didn't get an evil vibe.
He was a multiple rapist.

She told us his face had changed. It resembled the very strong, sharp features of Punch but with a ghoulish expression and she could see 2 small protuberances on his head, like horns. He had a weird, almost mocking smile and just stared at her

dollydee

Now that one is well -scary- interesting. Might this be a case of someone really possesed by something?. Walter seemingly knew what he could come accross. OK he could have pulled that face but the proturbances on his head?. Is it possible that he might have had a couple of cysts that his hair normally covered and perhaps he liked scaring winding up people when he could or wanted to?

Has this bene reasearched or doumented elsewhere at all?.

I wonder if this is a bit like aliens and UFO's lots of reports but what I'd like to ask is why don't they land in theh high street on a Satuerday afternoon and ask to be taken to our leader as is their supposed wont?.

Mind you they probally know we don't have a leader so perhaps thats why they don't turn up.

As you were then..

I used to work with offenders back in the day, mostly young men, a lot of violent crimes. I’ve got to be honest, most seemed very nice and I mostly had no problems with aggression from them, the odd bit of cheek occasionally.
The only one I had the ‘run’ feeling from, was one of the low risk on paper. I just remember feeling instantly wary.

I worked as a Customs Officer many, many moons ago. One day, in Stansted, a guy walked past me, through the Green Channel. He didn't stand out, was respectably dressed, looked like your typical businessman. But as he strolled purposefully past, I was hit by this overwhelming sense of evil and malevolence. I can still see this guy in my mind's eye and wonder, to this day, who he was.
I also once stopped a guy at the same airport as he hit the profile for a drugs smuggler. He wasn't carrying contraband of any sort but something about his manner (despite being cool, calm and polite) really irked me. We let him go but reported his details to Interpol. A report came back weeks later stating that he was a known assassin!

I've had this conversation, about gut instincts on safety, lots of times with various groups of people.

Interestingly, but not surprising, the women agree, but the men think it's nonsense and think we're all sexist and could ruin a man's reputation.

Not sure what that says.....

I've had this once. I also found it the weirdest thing as I'm not woo at all and would normally scoff at this kind of thing.

I was sitting in a pretty empty cafe with my baby and a woman came over, stood over me and said something nondescript about how nice a day it was and she was going to go for a walk in the park. I have never, either before or since, had such an overwhelming sense of fear. I sat there frozen and she walked away, my heart was pounding. So utterly unlike me. I too think our instincts are there to protect us when it's such an extreme reaction.

A lot of what some people have written about is based on how people look.

Gut instinct from what I have experienced is about that feeling when you haven’t even looked at a person.

You just know you have something evil in the vicinity.

Not about something or someone creeping me out. But a lesson in following your gut instinct.

Years ago I ignored my gut instinct. I was tired and just wanted to get home.

I had got to a crossroads and straight on was home and turning left was down a road I had rarely gone on. It passed through a village. It was early evening, it was dark and cold.

I don’t gamble at all. But I had this overwhelming urge that I should turn left and go and buy a lottery ticket. (I had never bought a lottery ticket before).

I ignored my gut and drove home.

Later I found out the winning ticket (lucky dip) was bought at the villages store at about the time I would have been in the store if I had turned left.

If the universe could just come back and give me another gut instinct I promise I won’t ignore it.

@dollydee Not strictly on topic but you are a brilliant writer - I was so spooked by your post, it was spine tingling!

I also remember, as a teenager, heading through London to meet a friend. I decided to wander through the basement floor of the Trocadero in Picadilly where there used to be a few small-holding shops. The bottom floor was empty with the exception of me and a guy walking in the opposite direction. As he passed, in my peripheral vision I saw him do a U-turn and start following me. I quickened my pace and headed rapidly to the stairs and back to the ground floor which was much more populated. The guy followed me until I approached a security guard and expressed my concern. The guy, not surprisingly, made another U-turn, this time heading away from me.
I'm pretty convinced, as I was carrying a backpack at the time, that he thought I might have been a runaway and was looking to exploit my vulnerability.

This has happened to me a few times. I don't scare easily, will walk anywhere at night etc, but when you get that instinct you can't ignore it.

Both times it was men who came into my place of work. I can't describe the feeling I got - it's a cliche to say "there was nothing there" but it was more complex than that. There are so many bits- building blocks if you like --that go into making an ordinary decent human, and it wasn't just that some of those building blocks were missing, they were never there to begin with,and something awful had just grown in place.

Both men later went on to commit a number of crimes which they were arrested for, ranging from paedophilia to attempted murder