It's interesting reading about people's comments about hypervigilance.
I've only just come off a thread where I said, half jokingly, that I attribute my ability to spot where something is off/going to get dangerous to being an abused child.
It's the eyes. The smile stops at the nose and never, ever reaches them. It's how you know that whilst she is being the 'lovely, sweet, loving mother of many children' to the trusting souls she is holding Court with, she is silently telling you that you are going to get a battering at some undetermined point in the near future. Or, worse, when the conversation is about your beloved dog, that the dog is going to cop it to punish you, as you don't seem to care about being hit anymore.
It's the slight change in the shoulders that mean they're deliberately keeping their arms and hands in an open position so you don't see the punch heading for the side of your head until it's too late, or the slight shift in weight on their feet which means they're about to lunge for you or stamp on your feet.
It's your constant awareness of what is in your peripheral vision, as that's where a lot of the attacks come from, or of anything behind you, so you're always, always listening.
It's a tiny change in breathing, the rise and fall of the chest which means the atmosphere has changed and you're on a countdown to a slap as they walk past. Or they're slightly too close and you shift your hair to one side because they were about to grab and drag you around by it.
New shoes? They're - sturdy. They'll hurt.
That chair's been moved. It now means you have to sit exposing the back of your head (to be walloped whilst they were coming back from the bathroom and decided to get a bonus punch in for good measure) and won't see it coming.
That door's closed for a change. Is it because they're planning something you might need to get away from?
Where are your exits? Are your exits clear? Has something been put in your way to hold you up?
Are they wearing more or less makeup? Have they changed their hair slightly? Is this because they're in a good mood? Why? Have they decided that they're going to try something new to upset/hurt you? Have they already done it and are looking forward to your face when you find out what it is? Are the nails shorter so they don't break one hitting you? Are they longer so they can dig them in? Have they been sharpening their claws?
I can smell something. There's a smell of ironed linen. That means the iron's out somewhere nearby. I can smell smoke. What have they been burning or preparing to burn? I can smell dusty mustiness. What's come out of a cupboard and why? Is it to shove me inside it? Have they been rooting around in my bedroom for an excuse to come screaming in at 2am to clean it up?
They're looking at me. Why are they looking at my cheek? Is it lining up for the perfect slap? My shoulders. Both of them. This is a shove coming. [makes note to be very careful when using the stairs not to meet them]
What's beside them? Could it be used as a weapon? Where's that fucking wooden metre stick? I can't see it. Where the FUCK is it? That's it. It's moved. It's behind a curtain. The curtains have been moved. That's where it's hidden. Handy, but hidden. So it's going to be used.
Exits. Shit. Exits. Why is the door closed? It's never closed. Shit. Shit. Shit. There's that not-quite smile. Fuck. She knows I know. Fuck. Shit. Exits. Too close. I can't get there from here without being in reach. And I can smell that fucking iron. Crap. Pulling herself up to full height. It'll be shoulders next. Shit. Exits, why are there never any fucking exits?
Shoulders drop slightly and she turns away slightly. Not this time. I'll just move slightly so my way is clea- fuck. Floorboard creak as she shifts her weight again. It was a trick.
Oh, let's get on with this then. If I wind you up quickly enough, it'll be over sooner and you'll focus on me, not the dog.
So yes, you notice all those tiny little details, the smells, the sounds, the posture - and the eyes - and it sends you on full alert.
The alertness and observation does have other uses, though - I'm great at spotting wildlife, particular wild flowers, patterns in music and intervals (I play mostly by ear as a result), sequences and anomalies, so you spot plagiarism, forgeries, errors and wordsearches/sudoku puzzles are boringly easy.
And it also helps keep you out of trouble a lot of the time, as you spot those tiny things that make a person or place feel dangerous.