Ok so I don't even know where to start but I'll try to keep it concise otherwise it'll be very boring.
I've been married nearly 3 years, have a baby who's nearly 1. I live with my in laws. From day 1 of getting married, and I mean day 1, I did not feel welcomed by my MIL at all. The rest of the family were ok so I just got on with it and tried to get on and involved with family things when I could. My MIL tried to cause issues between me and my husband early on in the relationship which caused a lot of arguments between me and my DH. Two big arguments we had in the early days because of my MIL saying I did nothing round the house. Which btw isn't true I'm actually constantly doing chores and never really feel relaxed. She is very negative and loves playing a victim. I've never done or said anything negative to her, I don't even stick up for myself when she is horrible because I just don't see the point, I know I'll never win.
When I first got married I found it really odd how she didn't welcome me and I always felt like I wasn't good enough for her or her son. I just bravely still tried to get on with things and made an effort with her. For example coming home from work and making sure I found her in her room and said hi because if I didn't it'd be the end of the world.
Within a few months of being married my SILs also decided to join the club of hating me, again for no good reason and even my DH could see there was no reason for their awful behaviour. They were very rude to me saying comments and also deleted me off al social media.
All this happened and I still didn't say or do anything. Because I knew the SILs would be getting married soon and go which they both did.
Now it's just me my DH my son and my PILs in the house. My FIL is lovely no problems with him and he doesn't get involved with any nastiness.
Anyway when I got pregnant, MIL didn't even congratulate me, she just made it about herself. Fine I didn't care. Throughout my whole pregnancy she never once asked how I was, I was still doing housework throughout and cooking for me and my DH, because eating her food was an issue when I first got married so I knew to cook my own meals. Which is fine.
As soon as my son was born she was over bearing to a crazy degree. Starting off with when I was still in hospital with him and she told me to give him formula milk because he was just suckling and not taking anything in, this was the second day of his life and I was obviously trying to establish a good milk supply. The midwife shouted at her saying its mums choice how she feeds her baby and it's not your place to say he's not getting enough.
That was just the start though. Ever since my sons birth all she has done is say negative things and basically tell me every single thing I do is wrong and I should do it her way.
For example, don't give him that food, don't put mitts on him, don't give him a dummy, do give him a dummy, give him formula milk, don't put him to sleep at that time, don't put him to sleep in his crib, don't feed him that, the list is endless but basically everything I do is wrong.
Anyway now she's gone up a level by saying mean and nasty comments while walking past or under her breath or to other people. I don't know why she's starting doing this, maybe because I never said anything back to her when she says negative things. I always just listened and did as she said because obviously she's always right.
The comments are getting to me so badly and I hate living here and I hate my life. I often think about dying and how happy she would be without me here and I know she has a major part to play in me getting such bad PND.
This has turned out to be much longer than I expected but my question is what am I doing that is so wrong? I've actually been ill and been through so much since the birth of my baby that I'd expect a little help or even god forbid sympathy. But I've had none of that. She's constantly telling me to do things her way and when things seem to be going wrong she gets a lot of pleasure from it. For example if my son isn't settling and won't sleep she'll be saying comments. And tbh the last thing I need is to hear mean comments from her when I'm so depressed and just trying my best to look after my son.
I suppose I've just realised what I'm doing isn't working and I'm looking for help and advice. Sorry this is so waffly.