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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask what you would think of this

99 replies

fizzysci · 06/05/2019 21:33

A parent who takes her DCs to school and then goes home and goes to bed for most of the morning and then gets up a couple of hours before collecting the DCs and then goes to bed about the normal time for an adult.

OP posts:
CSIblonde · 07/05/2019 01:30

If it's daily, depression. As soon as I'm off anti depressants I start sleeping for hours on end & even nod off on the sofa, top of 18hours sleep.

SnowyAlpsandPeaks · 07/05/2019 02:03

This sounds like me frequently. I have bipolar, fibromyalgia, and b12 deficiency amongst other things!

Glitterbaby17 · 07/05/2019 05:08

If it’s an ongoing thing I would assume they were unwell and doing their best to juggle a medical condition and be there for their kids. I have haemochromatosis and regularly have to have venesections (like giving blood) to maintain my ferritin levels. When my ferritin levels are too high or just after a venesections I am exhausted and need to rest more. There are some many conditions that could mean this lady needs rest - and it’s not your business unless it somehow impacts you...

Daenerys77 · 07/05/2019 05:48

I'd think she was lucky to have the option, but that it was none of my business how she spent her time

PulyaSochsup · 07/05/2019 06:36

I do this because of fibromyalgia, Ehlers-Danloss syndrome, depression, ptsd and pots, aggravated by low thyroid function. A sense of anxiety that others are passing remarks or judgement does rather seem to compound the issue. I would avoid being judgmental at all costs. Clearly you have no idea why she's doing this, unless it's a reverse, in which case you have my sympathies and would simply suggest that you do what you need to.
I know that if I don't rest sufficiently then I can't function later in day and DH can't do what he wants/needs to.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 07/05/2019 06:39

Presumably this is you Op and you feel that someone is judging you?

kiabella · 07/05/2019 06:49

That's me 2-3 times a week after night shifts
But if it's not for that reason as others have said, depression, underlying health condition or just because they fancy it and aren't hurting anyone

StealthPolarBear · 07/05/2019 06:53

Chronic illness or depression. And yes I think op is asking for herself

grumpyyetgorgeous · 07/05/2019 06:54

Is it you op? I could do this, I work full time so I don't but in the holidays I'll sometimes have a stretch of days where I nap daily. If it is you I think you need to try to unpick why you do it and then tackle that. Nothing wrong with having a nap but sleeping all day every day would indicate to me that there's a problem that needs dealing with. For me, I go to bed or nap a lot when my mental health is bad and I'm avoiding life. Be kind to yourself op.

User11011 · 07/05/2019 06:58

I'd think they should get a job.

DonkeyHohtay · 07/05/2019 07:00

I would think either serious illness or "what a waste of a life".

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 07/05/2019 07:03

I would think they are wasting their precious life.

mayde · 07/05/2019 07:05

Do they need to sleep or want to sleep? Big difference in what I would think of them.

lola006 · 07/05/2019 07:55

I live with chronic insomnia. Go to sleep at 10pm, wide away at midnight until 5-6am, alarm goes off at 6:40am. Frequently I’ll come back from the school run and tackle 1 or 2 big jobs before going to sleep. If I didn’t get another couple hours of sleep I’d be driving my DC to sports half asleep, which is dangerous.

Very few people know this though, I don’t announce it on the school run because I know mums will judge as some on this thread have. My DH understands and is empathetic to my situation.

IAmNOTBent · 07/05/2019 08:23

User1101

I'd think they should get a job.

What if they worked nights/shifts/did evening work/was self employed running their own business?

I used to work evenings with DH looking after the DC once we'd put them to bed. How would school run people know that?

6demandingchildren · 07/05/2019 08:29

I get up wave my youngest goodbye then back to bed, I know something is wrong but I just can't get to the doctors

Damntheman · 07/05/2019 08:39

Lucky cow indeed :D I could sleep like this too and my mental health is at present very robust. I just love to sleep. But it could be a lot of things, I wouldn't judge.

cherrytree63 · 07/05/2019 08:51

I have fibromyalgia plus other chronic health problems, also currently having investigations for unexplained anaemia. I've had chronic insomnia for nearly 20 years.
On a bad day my OH has to sort the animals out as I lie in, flop onto the sofa and then back to bed.
Before I was ill I was very active, bounced out of bed at 5am and on the go until 8/9pm and slept like a log, and would probably have been very judgmental of someone like me.

Footle · 07/05/2019 11:49

Is it you, OP? A few of the replies on the thread may help you. Most won't.

BollocksToBrexit · 07/05/2019 11:51

I've done this for the last 5 years. I was recently diagnosed with severe sleep apnea. So I would assume the parent had some sort of illness and it was needed.

Supergrassyknoll · 07/05/2019 12:06

I do this sometimes, I have lupus and heart failure, I'm a single mum to a 3 yr old, I feel incredibly guilty, probably because of fear of judgement from how your post come across

CurtainsOpen · 07/05/2019 12:24

Vampire

ILoveMaxiBondi · 07/05/2019 12:25

This was me when I was depressed.

FromEden · 07/05/2019 17:21

Presumably this is you Op and you feel that someone is judging you?

Well she's probably right, going by the replies on this thread. It's almost 9.30am where I am, I've hiked up a mountain already and shortly plan on going for a nap after I've tidied the kitchen. I like sleeping, and don't really care what people think about it! I don't need to "get a job" and can't anyway (visa restrictions). Judge away 😁

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