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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Child using potty in public

243 replies

Moominfan · 06/05/2019 19:15

I'm pretty easy going, bordering on complacent to mumsnet standards. Went to a fair today. Kid and dad in queue. Dad whips out Potty and the kid does their business there and then. Is this what I have to look forward to? Mines not potty trained yet. Would most people atleast go hide behind a bush or something? There were loads of people around. Place was heaving.

OP posts:

EvilMorty · 08/05/2019 12:42

We made sure wherever we were, there were toilets, went before we left, after lunch etc.

Are there toilets on the side of the A10? Oh where please? I’d like to know how can I make sure there is a toilet? (There isn’t by the way)

A child’s bowel is not an amazon prime delivery, you can’t specify not between 7.30 and 9 please, as I’m doing school run then and a rogue shit would be inconvenient to scornful strangers I’ll never see again.

God forbid any of you encounter incontinence when you are elderly.

TeddybearBaby · 08/05/2019 13:04

If I do suffer incontinence as an elderly person I really hope I’m treated with dignity and not asked to go to the toilet and be wiped in the middle of a restaurant or shop 🤞🏼

Quintella · 08/05/2019 13:05

Just don't let your kid shit in a shop or a restaurant and everything will be rosy.

Treesthemovie · 08/05/2019 13:41

That's bizarre, I've never seen someone in public let their child take a shit in the middle of a queue, then hurl the shit into a bush. Surprised that so many people think it's normal. This is Mumsnet though and my standards seem different to many people's on here.

Lizzie48 · 08/05/2019 13:55

TheBubGrower My DM has always insisted that her 3 children (my DB, my DSis and I) never had accidents once we were properly potty trained.

I think it’s a case of rose-tinted glasses, and she did rely a lot on au pairs back then. Besides. I remember a couple of accidents myself.

It’s called rose-tinted glasses.

TheBubGrower · 08/05/2019 16:29

Ha probably @Lizzie84 or there is just some medical parenting trick that I've clearly missed as my 3yo is 3 months into toilet training and still has the odd accident, usually when he's too busy / too stubborn to go! 🙄 But then I'm one of the "ghastly" and "lazy" parents who has taken potties out and about so it's obvs all my fault (according to the perfect parenting brigade on here). Hasten to add I've never had cause to let him poo next to a queue of people but i did let him wee on his potty in Smyths when we early into potty training and I was really pleased with him for telling me he needed to go whilst in the very exciting environment of being surrounded by toys!

"A child’s bowel is not an amazon prime delivery" 🤣🤣🤣 quote of the day evil

YemenRoadYemen · 08/05/2019 17:27

And yet somehow, vast swathes of parents manage to toilet train multiple children without whipping potties out, and having them do it in public.

EvilMorty · 08/05/2019 17:49

Is the boot of my car public though?

Copperandtod · 08/05/2019 18:09

Bit late to potty train 3 year old bubgrower. Not doing well for 3 year old to potty in middle of toy shop. It’s a disgrace. You shouldn’t be proud. More ashamed

ForalltheSaints · 08/05/2019 18:16

I cannot get the mental image of the potty being whipped out as if by magic out of my head!!!

OP is not being unreasonable to find this objectionable. I understand that it may be too far to find a toilet, but at least somewhere discreet and then finding a toilet to empty the potty would be better. Though best of all is training a child to know to go before going out etc.

acquiescence · 08/05/2019 19:41

We use a potty in public, I probably wouldn’t for a poo in a queue though. When out in parks I keep one under the buggy and use discreetly. We have used in town in a discreet area. Obviously we would use toilets as a preference. If there is a poo it is tipped into a poo bag and then the potty wiped with antibacterial spray.

My boy is 3.5 and had a lot of bowel issues requiring hospital care, simple constipation which caused impaction and soiling. It is important that potty training was relaxed for him so to not relapse. However, my friends who have had no issues also use a potty in public. Again, not in a queue and probably not in the middle of a shop.

TheBubGrower · 08/05/2019 19:45

"Bit late to potty train 3 year old bubgrower. Not doing well for 3 year old to potty in middle of toy shop. It’s a disgrace. You shouldn’t be proud. More ashamed"

Hang on hang on, but I thought the perfect parents thought you should wait until the child is "absolutely ready" before potty training and that if anyone has accidents that clearly means they weren't ready?? So, what is it - train them the moment they turn 2 or wait until they barely need training? You guys aren't making it easy for us mere mortal ghastly lazy parents to follow...

And yes we did start just before he turned three because he wasn't showing signs of being ready much before then and I was heavily pregnant before then too. Is that okay with you, or is that "disgraceful" too? I think you need to get over yourself if you find it so offensive to see a small child learn to use a toilet (fyi it was only a wee if that helps) and yes I was proud of him because he'd been having accidents and was not initiating using the toilet very often so actually I thought the fact that he realised he needed to go, whilst being distracted by many exciting toys, was something to be proud of. I certainly wasn't going to tell him he was a disgrace 🤣

Copperandtod · 08/05/2019 19:52

He’s not the disgrace though!

TheBubGrower · 08/05/2019 20:05

Yeah, I got that thanks. It was a joke

YemenRoadYemen · 08/05/2019 20:53

TheBubGrower - you realise that sitting a child down on a potty in the middle of a store is something that only a vanishingly small number of parents actually do, right?

Is it a frequent occurrence round your way, or something?

BarrenFieldofFucks · 08/05/2019 21:08

Your son doesn't sound late at all bub, but sitting on a potty in a shop is still odd.

TheBubGrower · 08/05/2019 21:16

yemen to be fair we've only had to do it that once in a shop, it's hardly a regular occurrence and obviously we do like every other parent does and prompt my DS to use the toilet before leaving the house etc. It's not like we are actively encouraging public potty wees, it has been used in public on maybe 3 occasions when not near a loo, and only in a shop on that one occasion, and I hasten to add when there was nobody else nearby. I think if you're only relying on potties in public areas and not actively encouraging using toilets when they are available then that's not good training, but I don't know anyone who does that. I do however know people take potties with them as emergency back ups.
I have seen many other parents carrying potties around, and according to this thread it's apparently quite common to let your child shit in a bush, so I guess each to their own? 🤷‍♀️

Copperandtod · 08/05/2019 21:24

Absolutely potty

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