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Original poster

Child using potty in public

243 replies

Moominfan · 06/05/2019 19:15

I'm pretty easy going, bordering on complacent to mumsnet standards. Went to a fair today. Kid and dad in queue. Dad whips out Potty and the kid does their business there and then. Is this what I have to look forward to? Mines not potty trained yet. Would most people atleast go hide behind a bush or something? There were loads of people around. Place was heaving.

OP posts:
dimdarkashian · 07/05/2019 11:18

Potties are disgusting. Trained DS with a small seat that sits on the toilet. If we were out we'd use a public loo and I'd hold him so he didn't feel he'd fall down.

HomeMadeMadness · 07/05/2019 11:28

He obviously didn't want to lose his place in the queue. Good thinking I reckon,and there is nothing dignified about potty training.

We know why he did it! The point is it's selfish! Yes potty training is inevitably gross but it's the parents who have to deal with the wee and poo not the general public. It's annoying to lose your place in line but that's what happens when you have young kids who are potty training.

Alsohuman · 07/05/2019 11:47

The bit I really was a bit shocked by was that he threw the contents in a bush. I’m really hoping it wasn’t solid otherwise it makes a nonsense of picking up dog doings.

HeyNannyNanny · 07/05/2019 11:56

Potties are disgusting. Trained DS with a small seat that sits on the toilet

This too. They are also pointless. Far better to go straight the toilet (with a child friendly seat addition) instead of an extra step involving the potty.

The lesson is that wee and poo is for toilets - why make it more complicated than that.

Stuckforthefourthtime · 07/05/2019 12:00

Potties are disgusting. Trained DS with a small seat that sits on the toilet

I've trained three without potties, all out of nappies between two and two and a half. What they did is not a necessary part and parcel of training, and is inconsiderate.

Wheresmrlion · 07/05/2019 12:07

I had this last week, a mum got a massive travel potty contraption out in the middle of the playground and poor lad was made to sit on it in front of everyone. There were no loos nearby and I don’t mind pottys at all but blimey, take him to a corner behind one of the many trees to give the poor lad some privacy!

TeddybearBaby · 07/05/2019 12:28

Do they wipe these kids in front of everyone too? I can’t cope with this thread 😂😅

missyB1 · 07/05/2019 12:29

Oh ffs! I trained mine straight onto the toilet too but you can’t carry round a bloody toilet with you constantly! I had a travel potty for the first 2 or 3 weeks of training for when we were caught short out and about. And most of my friends did exactly the same. Big fat hairy deal!! Honestly people just need to mind their own business about this sort of thing.
No wonder kids are starting reception class in nappies if it’s now a crime to use a travel potty. All this “they aren’t ready if they can’t wait ten minutes to get to a public toilet” bollocks. You have to start somewhere with toilet training!

DoraDont · 07/05/2019 12:34

I also saw a dad with a small child and potty in the playground last week. Plonked it down close to whichever bit of equipment they were on. I’m ok with the odd nature wee, but I never took a potty with me when I was training my daughter, it seems like overkill to me.

Mind you, my dd was stupidly quick to get it, we just had two days without leaving the house and after that she was fine bar one wee incident at the childminders, so I was very lucky.

Sybelline · 07/05/2019 12:47

Big fat hairy deal!! Honestly people just need to mind their own business about this sort of thing.

Well it is a big fat hairy deal if your kid's taking a dump in a shop.

HomeMadeMadness · 07/05/2019 12:54

I never used potties either but it does depend on where you live. If there aren't toilets within 5-10 minutes it's fine to find a discreet spot to use a potty. It's not fine to do it in a public place with people walking around. Your child's potty training isn't everyone else's problem.

Stefoscope · 07/05/2019 12:58

Bit strange if he emptied it in the bush. Surely you'd just take the kid behind the bush so they have some privacy? I guess at least it was outside so smell wouldn't be too much of an issue.

I find it less objectionable than the family I recently saw who decided to change their toddlers out of their clothes into pjs in the middle of a pub and then change their baby's shitty nappy on the table.

graziemille1 · 07/05/2019 13:01

I didn’t potty train mine, I toilet trained them. No potties involved Envy

ItsJustASimpleLine · 07/05/2019 13:12

This happened to me at a theme park. It had just opened, it was a baby/toddler ride me and person behind in the queue, no one else interested. You could see the toilets from where we standing. The guy behind whipped out one of those bottles for the little boy to wee in. It wasn't an emergency the little boy had said I need the toilet, the toilet was right there and it wasn't a big queue. It felt a bit like teaching him he can go where ever he wants rather then getting used to finding a toilet etc.

BeanBag7 · 07/05/2019 13:12

I agree with @BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil

If a potty is provided every time they need to go, surely it will take much longer to learn to hold it. Children need to have accidents to understand that they need to hold it and/or let the adult know sooner- how else will they make this connection?

We never toted a potty around with us when training DD. For the first few weeks we had a seat that could sit on the loo seat when out, so she didn't feel like she would fall in, but now she just perches.

Macca84 · 07/05/2019 13:18

Urgh, yeah it's grim. I've never done this with DC. Doesn't seem like a great idea to teach your kids to expose themselves in front of a load of strangers either.

User8888888 · 07/05/2019 13:45

So... I’m reading this with interest as I’m just starting potty training (and am terrified after a pretty bad weekend and a bit of a false start). For those who are in the no potties out and about camp, what happens in the following situation?

*child says they need to go somewhere like the park or on a walk where there are no toilets?

Also is it better to go for a pull-up when out and about somewhere like softplay where they might get distracted or a long journey or does it just confuse them? There seems to be a lot of conflicting advice.

This is my least favourite part of parenting so far and I’m totally overwhelmed!

DoomOnTheBroom · 07/05/2019 13:52

In a park where there are no toilets whatsoever I'd either use the emergency pull-up from my bag or, if that wasn't an option, find a convenient tree/bush for them to go behind.

Pull-ups have their place in potty training. I only used them for urgent situations, like the park scenario you described, or situations where I knew one would be needed such as a long car journey where they were likely to fall asleep in their carseat (being dry at night/when asleep is a seperate issue to potty/toilet training) but I know people who have used them instead of underwear. I also know people who have put a pull up over the top of underwear so the child still gets the sensation of having wet/soiled underwear but without the mess because some children really do need to have one or two accidents to help them make the connection between needing to wee/poo and the mild discomfort of having it happen in your pants vs .doing it in the potty/toilet.

dimdarkashian · 07/05/2019 14:00

Hi User888888,
I didn't use pull-ups during the day when toilet training. Although DS still wears them at bedtime (just turned 3) as he's not always dry in the morning. I just kept taking him to the loo for a wee. Sometimes he'd say he didn't need but did one. After a few days I didn't need to remind him. We did have a problem with him holding his poo though, which I didn't realise was quite common. So we had a couple of poo accidents. I just made sure I had spare clothes and wipes etc. If you do experience the poo holding issue I highly recommend an app called 'Poo goes to Pooland'. This worked wonders with my DS. He happily takes himself to the toilet now. The most important thing is to wait until they are ready or it'll take longer. Good luck.

TheBubGrower · 07/05/2019 15:17

I'm a bit confused by posters who think going behind a bush is somehow better than using a potty in public 🤔

User8 I've just potty/ toilet trained my 3yo and we carried a potty with us for situations like you describe. In the real world people don't seem to have an issue with this as much as mumsnet clearly does! If the child does a poo you just clean it out using wipes and a nappy bag. It's no different to dealing with a dirty nappy at the park. Obviously be as discreet as possible but it's ridiculous to say if they can't hold it they're not ready, that's all part of the learning process. If you have a stubborn 3yo it's not always about them not being ready, a lot of it can also be about control so the more options the better if you ask me! And it can take a while for them to crack it, totally normal. Don't be put off by judgemental people

Stuckforthefourthtime · 07/05/2019 15:17

@User8888888 definitely download 'Oh Crap' potty training, it's amazing! Basically you have a few restricted half naked days, then off like normal, with the addition of 2 spare sets of clothes, some nappy bags and wetwipes just in case.
DS3 was the trickiest for me, and king of the 'omg I need to wee right now when we've just been queueing for 20 minutes and are at the front of the queue'... We had a couple of accidents but mostly were fine, sometimes you do mentally curse a little at the delay, but it's part of teaching. In a park is actually easy - just wee behind a bush. If it is a poo (quite rare, in my experience), you use a nappy bag and wipe it and chuck it.
For long train trips or car trips or naps we used pull-ups for the first few weeks.
Seriously though, try Oh Crap, I wish I'd found it with ds1!

Stuckforthefourthtime · 07/05/2019 15:19

Definitely think going behind a bush (natural, tons of dogs doing it anyway), is nicer than carrying around a potty Envy

Sybelline · 07/05/2019 15:22

I'm a bit confused by posters who think going behind a bush is somehow better than using a potty in public

What's so confusing? People can't see your child emptying their bowels if they're behind a bush. Pretty simple, you'd think.

DoomOnTheBroom · 07/05/2019 15:35

I'm a bit confused by posters who think going behind a bush is somehow better than using a potty in public

When I was potty training my older DC if they announced they needed a wee I'd say keep it in and we will go look for a toilet. If there was no toilet or the only toilet was locked (e.g., park) and the next nearest one was too far away then we'd discreetly duck behind a bush/tree and I'd either pop a pull up on (mainly for when it was a poo) or they'd have an al fresco wee.

Kiakiakia · 07/05/2019 15:36

Nappies take literally hundreds of years to degrade. If a parent is supporting their child to respond to bodily functions instead of training them to sit in their own faeces for a few more years for convenience sake (sorry i mean until they are 'ready'), i think averting your eyes from the very offensive potty shouldn't be too much of an effort. Everythings a learning curve, cut the toddler a break!🤣

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