I want to move out of London but can’t drive. AIBU?

[Twinkletoes77]

Lived in London all my adult life, over it now and would love to move to the countryside (grew up there as did my DH). But do you have to be able to drive to live outside London? Have I totally buggered it up? (I have tried to learn to drive in my 30s, failed two tests. Now in my 40s and if anything would be a more nervous driver esp with kids in the back...)

"Out of London" and "the countryside" are not the same thing. You'll be fine in a town anywhere, but you'll be stranded if you're in a smaller village or out of town, probably.

Yes, you do really, sorry. Bus services in many rural areas are now pretty much non-existent due to cuts in local authority subsidies. So unless you have the £££ for taxis then you do need to drive or you will be very isolated.

You can learn how to drive an automatic, they're much easier! Hypnotherapy is good if you have a fear of driving.

Unless you're moving to a city or town with great transport links, you need to drive. You'd be trapped in the countryside without a car.

I grew up in the countryside (very rural) and moved to London in my early 20's. The transport network is fantastic here and if I were to move out of London I would definitely learn to drive.

I would personally say yes.

Well we moved to south Norfolk from London and we wouldn’t have much of a life without a car. Yep you can get a train to Norwich or back to London but you’d never get to half the other places that are nice to visit without driving. Plus if you needed to get yourself or dc to hospital getting a taxi from where we are would cost £50-60 ish and takes about an hour - neatest hospital is 25 miles away.

Totally depends where you’re thinking of going to!

Nearest not neatest!

Should point out DH can drive so we could go places at weekends. I have dreams of some lovely small town near lots of countryside. I am probably BU aren’t I. But it would be so niiiiice...

Failing 2 tests is nothing unusual. I passed on the fourth attempt, and DS passed on the fifth (automatics only). If at first you don't succeed...

You could easily move to another city or larger town. Plenty of my friends in Brighton don’t drive for example. A small village would be more difficult but not completely impossible, depending on how isolated it was and how far you are willing to walk/cycle for transport links.

I live in a tiny village (one little shop and a church) and at the moment can't drive for medical reasons. It really is a nightmare, we have 3 buses a day to the nearest town, and I am relying on lifts to get to hospital appointments as it would take me almost all day to get there and back on public transport!

You'd be better in a market town, especially if it had a train station, but I would certainly not recommend living somewhere like I do without being able to drive.

Thinking about it, my friends growing up lived in a little village. They were a family of four children and two parents, neither of whom drove. They were fine with buses and cycling. It was close enough (a couple of miles) to a medium size town with a railway station that they weren’t totally isolated. I’m sure it requires some planning with food shops etc though.

It took 5 attempts for me to pass my test, after about 60 hours of lessons and an intensive week long course! Don’t give up! It’s such a great skill to learn if you can.

Depends where you plan to live and what your financial situation is. I live rurally and when we first moved here couldn't drive (DH did but was commuting for work so not usually home). We chose a village with a train station next to a few major towns. It was mainly fine BUT we could afford cabs when needed. For example you get invited to a friend's house in the next village over - there's no bus service, it's a 2 hour walk and it's pouring with rain and the footpath is flooded anyway. I did end up getting lifts of people (only when offered). I eventually learned to drive and have been able to return the favour.

Would definitely do automatic if I tried again Singlenotsingle, gears are complication too far! I did wonder whether it would easier to learn if the roads are a bit emptier outside London, but on the other hand you’d have more to do with motorways outside London

@Twinkletoes77 there is still a thing called back roads you know 😂 learn in an automatic honestly iv driven manual for years, DH bought me a manual last month and will never go back, just stop & go!! So much easier as you can concentrate on the road instead of clutch and gears!

If it’s a small town with a rail connection to a city you’re probably fine. You could learn, but at your own pace as you wouldn’t be restricted. You might have to accept that journeys take a while until you’ve learned.

If you don't want to have to rely on your DH every time you want to go anywhere then yes in most cases (unless you get a town on a good train line). If you have DC then definitely yes, and also think about where you would work and how you'd get there.

We're only 4 miles outside a large town with the nearest shop a mile away. However we have no bus service and it's even difficult to get a taxi - definitely no Uber available ! My DP cycles a lot, but frankly he takes his life in his hands along the narrow lanes and it's not something I want to do.
If I didn't drive it would be impossible to do the work I do - sessional tutor across 3 different venues. I think you will need to start revising for the written test...

I live in the north of Scotland and can't drive. Somehow I manage. I think you'll be fine.

Totally depends where you move to and what your (or your children’s) hobbies are. I have friends in m25 commuter towns who have small children and don’t drive or the family only has one car which goes to work with one parent leaving other parent to deal with school run, after school activities etc on foot.

Equally I have friends in Rural villages which have no bus service or local shop so really need to be able to drive.

And I have friends in major cities with good public transport but who have hobbies that require being in rural locations early in the morning (riding /rowing/ sailing) that would be impossible to reach by public transport. If the parents didn’t drive the hobbies couldn’t happen.

on the other hand you’d have more to do with motorways outside London

There is not a single mile of motorway in Dorset.

Why not ask your DH to teach you how to drive?

Motorways aren’t that difficult as they are straight!! Much more difficult in builds up areas

I don't live in London. I do have shops, cafés, schools, churches, a park and a library within ten minutes' walk, buses stopping every five minutes two doors down the road, and trains every 15 minutes (with a ten minute journey into a nice regional city) just round the corner. There's also a river with a path alongside it for walking and cycling.

If you find the right location, life without a car can be fantastic, even in the hellhole that it "anywhere outside London"!

In a village definitely; I know plenty of people in small towns who don’t drive. Personally I wouldn’t be keen but if it’s got everything you need within walking distance such as work, kids school and local shop then I guess your DH could take you further afield at weekends and food shopping can be with him or online