I want to move out of London but can’t drive. AIBU?

[Twinkletoes77]

Lived in London all my adult life, over it now and would love to move to the countryside (grew up there as did my DH). But do you have to be able to drive to live outside London? Have I totally buggered it up? (I have tried to learn to drive in my 30s, failed two tests. Now in my 40s and if anything would be a more nervous driver esp with kids in the back...)

I live in a nice village (population about 3K) on the train line between Reading and Oxford. Very easy to Paddington.
We only have one car and can go all week without using it. We have groceries delivered (though there are small food shops). There is a primary school, pubs, restaurant, library, chemist, hardware shop, hairdressers, salon, doctors, vets, gym, most kids activities... No cinema, swimming pool, secondary school, large supermarket. But they could all be done by train/bus if need be. I think depending on your lifestyle you could manage quite well without driving, certainly if DH drives and is around quite a bit. There are always taxis - though you do need to book them. You couldn't just go out an hail a cab!

Or obviously somewhere like Oxford you really wouldn't need to drive. We didn't have a car until we had kids.

Do you children? Or plan to? I think that makes quite a bit difference. Easier without.

Don't do it! There be dragons out there. Best stay in London.

I didn't drive when we moved to this small town. There was an (expensive) bus every hour, except for 2 hours in the middle of the day. The last bus left about 7pm and there wasn't one back until the morning.
Every weekend I used to beg DH to take me somewhere, anywhere, out of the town
After 3 years I managed to learn to drive and it made all the difference.
It can feel very claustrophobic in a small town, and although the country side here is beautiful I love the opportunity to drive through it!
And the nearest taxi firm is 13 miles away, so don't bank on that. It is expensive to go anywhere.
We are still here, and wouldn't live anywhere else, but I wouldn't want to be here without a car.

I live in a small rural village and public transport is virtually non existent.(One bus a week) Both my oh and I have cars and they are very much needed. However, a village 3 miles away has regular buses to all the local towns purely because of its location - we are in what I would say is a 'cul de sac' village with a small population and one road in and out, so no money in it for the bus companies.
I honestly think that if you live rurally driving is an essential skill, more so if you've got children to run around.
However, there are places with good connections that have lovely rural fringes. Chipping Norton (excellent bus service to Oxford), Pershore, Malvern, Cirencester - the list is endless really.
Try learning on an automatic if you find a manual difficult.

I know someone who was in a similar situation .

They did It and learnt how to drive and you can do it too

Just go for it , you haven’t buggered anything up ,lots of people learn later

Yes, I'm in Hampshire, suburban and not rural. We have three buses a day weekday only. It's underthreat of closure. You have to drive. Every family has two cars at least, and many teens get a car at 17/18 when they get their licence. You really have to drive everywhere.

What about somewhere outside of London but with an easy train in? Dorking, Guildford, Brighton, Winchester, Petersfield, Chichester all lovely and doable without a car. I think Bath is about 90 minutes on the train to London and is gorgeous.

My mum passed her test in her 40s on maybe her 12th or 13th attempt. But she's a very stubborn, determined woman! I don't know many people who would have persevered that long. But living in a small town with young kids she had no choice but to keep trying until she got it. If nothing else, it taught us kids a valuable lesson about persevering at things you find difficult. I'm sure it won't take you quite that many attempts (!) but don't give up on your second try!

You could buy two very nice 5 bedroom houses near me for that price, with change .
However we are 3 hours from London and in a tiny village.
I've been driving over 30 years but would be terrified to drive in London. Motorways are the safest roads and easy when you can drive.

I live in the edge of the high peak and don't drive. It's really not an issue at all. Regular trains to Manchester, buses to other towns and I have pretty much all I need here. I get a taxi with my shopping that costs £3.

Hmm, Bath may look gorgeous, but it is murder for traffic, the air in the city centre is very polluted because of it being in a hollow, and property is much the same price as London.
I have family in Bath and hate going there because you are always guaranteed to sit in an endless traffic jam.

I lived in London all my adult life and never learned to drive, there was just no need.
Then moved to the wilds of Scotland and just had to learn or be forever housebound, with one wee bus an hour which stopped about 9pm.
I learned on an automatic, so easy! Passed first time, aged 50.

I live in Hertfordshire and while I do drive you absolutely don't need to to live here. Small town, edge of countryside, very good public transport. You could easily get what you want for your budget here.

Would probably advise against village properties if you're not a driver but town would be fine.

If you drop your budget to £999,000, you can afford an intensive driving course that will teach you to drive in a week or two.

I live in Hertfordshire and while I do drive you absolutely don't need to to live here.

Well, you have to be a bit more specific. I live in Hertfordshire and you'd be stuffed in my village without a car.

Have you looked at Sussex?

Haywards Heath, good schools, good train line, surrounding villages are pretty and walkable to the the station. 45 minutes to London Bridge or Victoria, 15 minutes to Brighton and lovely countryside around within walking distance. The South Downs are beautiful.

Further down the line:

Lewes would also be easy without a car.

Hassocks/ Hurstpierpoint, village life, everything there for day to day living, amazing country side.

Horsham, slightly different train line but a lovely town.

If you don't drive, you need to be near a good range of community services preferably in walking distance, and near a major route connecting towns with reliable connections.

My friend manages to be a non driver in a small town near a larger city with good connections, but it still has its limitations. A frequent bus service would be 15 minutes at peak times, not 3 minutes like the tube.

Genuine rural / village living as a non-driver would be really restrictive.

The other issue is that by far the majority of people drive and own cars, so the culture is that you will just drive to this soft play, or that children's activity so it it parricularly difficult with children, especially if numbers and car seats make sharing lifts impractical.

I live in Oxford, so not rural. I cycle a lot, but I drive as well. Most of my driving is not actually necessary. It's just because it's easier. Only have one car between me and DH, so if he's working away, I cycle, walk, bus, taxi as necessary. DC are now teens and get themselves to school and most activities. I wouldn't want to be completely without a car, but I know families who manage perfectly well without.

Someone I know loved the London lifestyle but had kids and loved out to the Home Counties ...posh house 5 beds etc countryside........hated it...but they are a bit precious and difficult to please and despise nature lol It is currently being rented out but i dont think they will live there again
go for it it is never too late and you will find a great property and town

Harpenden might suit you OP. It has a nice high street, a Waitrose, a decent selection of shops, a good bus service and a train line into St Pancras.

I'd really urge you to give driving another try. My DB took about 15 goes to pass his test, but pass it he did and has been driving around in his little car quite competently for years now! A mum I know who moved here from China had to learn to drive so she could ferry her three kids to/from school and she managed. Definitely learn in an automatic - it's so much easier - particularly if you're nervous. Automatics are really common on the roads now in the UK and you'll have no problem buying a nice one when you pass your test.

Try Stroud in Gloucestershire.

I agree with EducatingArti we’ve got a very central train station (unlike Cheltenham where you have to walk for ages to find it) with direct trains to London, an award winning weekly farmers market for all of your middle class fruit and veg needs (plus damn good handmade doughnuts), supermarkets within walking distance, and many good pubs

I left London for the north east 5 years ago and only psssed my test 2 years ago. As long as you're in a town with a train station you'll be fine!

May I say I love everybody on this thread for all your thoughts. Thank you. Spent most of the day on Zoopla having a poke about. It would be so nice.