Fiancée asking for Prenuptial agreement

[Sistersis]

Posting on here for traffic because I would like a range of viewpoints.

Fiancée is asking for a prenup. When we meet he had zero, both two young people getting started in life. His business ventures have really taken off and he's come to serious money. We previously discussed it before and he previously said he didn't want it.

But now he has changed his mind upon reading some article about some man being forced to hand over 40% of his monthly paycheck. His parents are also divorced. Mine are not.

I earn above average but nowhere near as him. I feel as though he's changed his mind because he's come in to money. He said he wants to make sure 'I'm protected'.

We are getting married abroad where its community split by law over there.

Should I sign? What would you do?

Have I been made a fool out of?

Read the laws for both countries you might live in and see how they apply. Even if you do a prenup and marry in a foreign country, if you are habitually resident in the U.K. and divorce there, the U.K. laws apply so prenup wouldn't be considered. If you divorce in a different country, then it might be an issue.

Have it stipulated for each year you take off as SAHM, your percentage of the divorce settlement goes up, along with a similar increase in child support and a lump sum payment.

If he wants prenup, then fine (if you are happy with that). But then you can't be a sahm obviously (maybe he can become a sahd? ...thought not)

He essentially wants to protect himself, whilst you take the financial risk for your relationship.

Nice guy. Not....

His attitude is the problem here, not the prenup. If both started with nothing and have no previous commitments such as children, surely you should just split everything equally? The fact he only wants you to have 20% is ridiculous. If he wants to protect you, then he can just decide to be reasonable if you ever split up. Prenups are to protect yourself not the other party. I would not marry someone or move abroad with someone who had this attitude. Make sure you maintain your own earning potential.

Find another man . It’s all very well him wanting to protect his current assets but giving you 20% and him 80% when married , expecting you to give up work and care for the children ( for 20% ) - no . You say you have a well paid job so keep it and find someone who values you .

I would also worry more about sahm than the pre nup x

Even if the prenup issue hadn't been raised, it isnt a good idea going into the marriage with such different views on work and childcare arrangements. You can't marry someone when you've communicated so little.

I have a prenup. It's not the work of the devil, it's something that you both need to decide on. Our prenup states that my partners business will always be his alone, but from the day we were married half of what is put in whatever pension pot is mine, and I'm entitled to a percentage of the money coming in every month and 40% of the house is mine even if he is the one paying off most of the mortgage. Financially I'm fine. We have a prenup because my DH wanted to protect his business and I wanted to protect some money that I had. We didn't want to fleece each other so made a prenup that leaves both of us financially secure.

Oh and I live in a country where a prenup will be enforced in case of divorce. So it's set in stone so to speak.

With over 50% of marriages now ending in divorce, I can see his point.

If it isn’t for you, simple. You don’t marry him

I don't have a problem with a prenups that's fair but him wanting you to give up work and be a SAHP is a huge red flag. Tell him you won't be having any children unless he agrees to bear the career and childcare load equally and make it clear he will be the resident parent if you separate.

He sounds like a twat, sorry OP.

I remember a first date once in my mid 20’s with what was probably a rich guy with a Porsche . Although he was interested to hear about my career and how much I enjoyed it he said ‘ but of course you’ll give it all up when you marry ‘ - think I managed to avoid my jaw dropping - needless to say there was no second date . Wonder if he found the woman of his dreams .