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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask why people face their babies out in carriers

233 replies

jamoncrumpets · 06/05/2019 10:31

When all the research points to inward facing being the optimum position from a physical and cognitive development POV.

And why do so many that do outward face try to justify it by saying that their babies are 'bored' and 'want to see the world' when their babies are a) incapable of communicating that b) unlikely to communicate that even if they could.

OP posts:
Starburst8 · 06/05/2019 18:36

I have a baby carrier and I always face him inward not because I think it's safer but because it's more comfortable for us.
If I'm being totally honest I didn't even realise this was a thing! Most baby carriers are designed to be outward facing and inward facing

1Wanda1 · 06/05/2019 18:38

Can someone post a link to the research showing that facing. Your baby outwards in a sling is bad for them? I never knew about this and I have teenage DC (both of whom outward-faced, and both are fine) and now a 3 month old baby. Baby has only been facing me so far, but I had been thinking she might like to look outwards - did not know this was (apparently) a no-no.

sighrollseyes · 06/05/2019 18:45

What's your thoughts on formula / cofeeding / co sleeping etc? I'd hate to be your friend! Judgyyyy!

ScrommidgeClaryAndSpunt · 06/05/2019 18:45

Hi OP. Our 2yo twins like facing inward when in the slings, and outward in the buggy. Their big brother (now 13yo and a 6ft rugby player) loved facing outward from as soon as he could hold his head up well enough. We're fine with all of this and it works/worked for us. Thanks for your concern.

SoupDragon · 06/05/2019 18:47

I think it's ridiculous not to refund the money

I missed that one! What an idiotic thing to say 😂😂

Househuntingwestwards2019 · 06/05/2019 18:50

Umm because otherwise he screams, not cries but full on screams. Spent a lot on an ergo 360 so he can with still having his legs in the M shape. He also screams if hes not looking outwards in the pram......I persevered with both however he was so angry and still trying to turn himself out in the carrier i gave in and he gets 30 mins at most a day outward facing. He goes in a hiking back carrier if we will be out longer

blueluce85 · 06/05/2019 19:14

OP - do you give your children any foods that contain sugar? Because that's not optimal for them if you do.... But it won't harm or kill them either... Much like outward facing in the sling... Don't be so judgy

Jinglejanglefish · 06/05/2019 19:15

It actually drives me a bit mad that slings - an incredibly practical and comparatively cheap piece of baby kit - have been coopted by the attachment parenting movement. It puts a lot of people off.

This! I was thinking about it earlier today actually. Humans must have been using slings in some way or another for hundreds if not thousands of years, long before prams existed. 'baby wearing' (which is a disgusting phrase btw) has been completely highjacked by middle class yummy mummies. Get over yourselves.

MumUnderTheMoon · 06/05/2019 19:20

Because they don't give a shit what judgemental strangers think about their parenting and they're doing what they think is best. YABVU clearly life is dull if how other people carry their children drives you to passive aggressively judge on the internet.

MumUnderTheMoon · 06/05/2019 19:21

Because they don't give a shit what judgemental strangers think about their parenting and they're doing what they think is best. YABVU clearly life is dull if how other people carry their children drives you to passive aggressively judge on the internet.

Strokethefurrywall · 06/05/2019 19:24

If ONLY there was a way to make a decision based on our own findings!
It would almost be as if we had a brain of our own with working analysis!

Seriously, I pity you if you not only believe every single piece of research you read, but are so dense you're unable to understand that others do differently.

It must be very hard in your head...

Original poster
jamoncrumpets · 06/05/2019 19:27

Clearly AIBU. That's me told. I'll face my kids in and shut my judgey trap.

OP posts:
InTheEndgameNow · 06/05/2019 19:33

I think OP was hoping to get lots of replies telling her how right she is and how wonderful and superior she is compared to those awful outward facing Mums. Didn't go so well for her.

I too would be interested in the research. But only if it's a peer reviewed paper that has been published in a reputable journal, not some blog on the internet.

Cornettoninja · 06/05/2019 19:39

@jamoncrumpets fair play to you for coming back and posting that Brew

I had my arse handed to me here a few years back and pretty promptly disappeared under a name change - I’m a wimp though! Grin

Yinderling · 06/05/2019 20:04

I want to know about the co-sleeping. I'm about 98% sure that bit of research doesn't count.

Cookit · 06/05/2019 20:11

Oh FFS do I have to feel guilty for EVERYTHING? I tried fabric type slings. Baby had reflux and had to be upright or just cried all the time (which I felt guilty enough for). Couldn’t get on with them, I was crying, baby was crying. Used an evil baby bjoern and baby was for first time ever, not crying and happy. Lived in said baby bjoern for most of first year as was only way that baby didn’t cry.
Because I knew inwards facing is better I didn’t even try outward facing until 7 months at least, a few months over when you are “allowed”. The baby loved it and used to giggle and kick his feet as if he was walking. Still used to inward face especially if I thought he would nap but forward faced as something fun and enjoyable for him when he was awake and seemed to want some stimulation.

NuffSaidSam · 06/05/2019 20:15

Bit of advice OP (if you want it otherwise ignore me)....

If you are genuinely concerned people are using slings in a dangerous way you would have got a MUCH better response if you'd posted in a more factual, less sneery/judgy way. Simply, 'I've read some research that found it was better for babies to be inward facing in slings, here is the link incase anyone is interested'. In Chat or Parenting maybe. Or there is probably a topic devoted to slings somewhere.

It's a good thing to share information, but you can do it in a much more positive way than you have here.

PantsyMcPantsface · 06/05/2019 20:20

Cookit the only way DD2 would actually sleep as a reflux baby was in the cocoon underneath part of that ultimate source of all evil... a Phil and Teds double buggy. Tried doing everything "optimally" with DD1 and tied myself in knots with it and DD1 is the anxious, fretful child... DD2 was just a "fuck it - do what works" baby and she's the more laid back calm natured resilient one of the pair.

And the attitude of sling elitists does "babywearing" (boak - I hate that term) no service whatsoever. I have never met anywhere as snooty and judgemental as our local sling meet - I think it can tend to drive a lot of women back down the aisle of the local Mothercare very very rapidly with the way it's been taken over.

WYP2018 · 06/05/2019 20:32

OP you are right in deciding to concentrate on your own child instead of judging everyone else. My teenagers seemed to have survived the enjoyable, short periods of time they spent facing outward in their carrier with their genitals and skeletal system intact.

Some of us know the research, but also know how to assess risk.

DizzyPhillips · 06/05/2019 20:40

This thread is so fucking annoying for so many reasons.

Also the word “optimal” can just fuck off

Cookit · 06/05/2019 20:59

PantsyMcPantsface not the Phil and Ted!

I remember going to breastfeeding meet ups and just feeling so ashamed about my baby bjoern (obviously some overlap in attendees). So ridiculous looking back but this thread just stirs up those feelings again of feeling so judged because I wasn’t babywearing “properly”. I particularly used to hate the idea that I should have just got myself down to a local sling library. Easier said than done when your child vomits and screams until passing out in both the pram and the car seat.

By the way, I’ve seen photos of even people like the Milk Meg (extended breastfeeding advocate, lactation consultant, attachment parent etc) using a fabric sling to forward face an older baby.

icanthelpyou · 06/05/2019 21:07

I cringe in case the wearer trips up Confused

oblada · 06/05/2019 21:33

Personally I don't like it either. I worry about the parent tripping. I've never seen a baby who looked 'happy' about it. It looks uncomfortable for both baby and parent. I do feel for the little one when it's a tiny baby facing outward, it just feels wrong. I do worry that some parents do it just because they've seen others do it and/or feel that baby needs to be distracted that way. Which is a shame. Surely it's a slippery slope as there is no way to keep that up for long and to continue to carry it seems necessary to go back to inward facing.

But then it's life I don't agree with everything people do and I will continue to use carriers with baby facing inwards. I love baby carriers, never got on with prams. My youngest is now too old to be front-carried though so that time has passed.

HerSymphonyAndSong · 06/05/2019 21:50

If the parent trips they are likely to protect the baby instinctively as much as they can, as they would do if the baby were held in their arms and they tripped. That’s a rather silly thing to worry about. And I have tripped and fallen whilst carrying my baby, who was facing me at the time. The way my arms instinctively protected him saved him being hurt in exactly the same way as they would have done if he had been front facing. As it happens, I carry him facing me because I find it more comfortable, but I assume others can sort out their own comfort and that of their babies, so I don't worry about them

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 06/05/2019 22:02

Doesn’t it depend on age ? Newborns definitely inwards and snuggly

6 months however like to see world , and then onwards for napping ?

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