To ask why people face their babies out in carriers

[jamoncrumpets]

When all the research points to inward facing being the optimum position from a physical and cognitive development POV.

And why do so many that do outward face try to justify it by saying that their babies are 'bored' and 'want to see the world' when their babies are a) incapable of communicating that b) unlikely to communicate that even if they could.

I think some people really have too much time on their hands

It's not that long since "all the research" said that babies should be put to sleep on their fronts in case they were sick whilst asleep. That went well.

Has it been proven to be bad for them @jamoncrumpets? We're about to have our first and I was unaware of this. I'd welcome any evidence based reading material on the subject.

*Poor tiny genitals
*

Must be a slow day at the OP's.

It bothers me more to see so many kids in pushchairs facing outwards. Two reasons. Firstly they always seem to be bothered by sun or rain or wind and parent can’t see. Secondly, our parent facing buggy gave us a far better way of interacting and chatting etc

I posted early on in this thread about my experience with a forward facing push chair and someone publicly berating me for it. Believe it or not I was perfectly capable of judging the weather and still managed to chat with my dd and occasionally stop and crouch with her to inspect interesting plants and have a chat.

She didn’t like facing me, if she could see me she wanted to be in my arms which for all sorts of reasons just wasn’t practical. She was perfectly happy forward facing and a snotty red faced mess if not. Plus she was a terrible sleeper so it was the only way to get a nap out of her without being pinned to the sofa occasionally.

Weird that I’m a dragon for having her forward facing but would have been largely supported if I’d had the stomach to persist with sleep training her (incidentally she coslept forever so wasn’t deprived at all).

In conclusion, butt out. You know what works for you and your child, you know sweet FA about anyone else.

Some of the European baby wearing schools are very strongly opposed to outward facing, leading to posts like this and abuse on Facebook of poor uneducated mothers carrying babies the wrong way

Had three babies, regularly faced outwards for short periods of time, no hip issues, and all considered to have 'normal development ' at the regular assessments.

Well, I'm crunchy enough that my babies were both in a home made mei-tai.

They faced in when they needed to snuggle, or it was time for a nap, and they faced out when they wanted to look around and see what was going on. Back carries didn't work too well unless I wanted my hair in knots and the kids got annoyed by my hair in their faces.

In each case they kept their feet up in the froggy position rather than dangle (also easier for keeping them warm without overheating as there's no little limbs out in the cold while their torso is roasting), and by the time they were too big for that, they were both walking anyway. So I wasn't worried about their hip development (and that was checked for DS2 anyway as he was breech for a bit), and they got plenty of face to face time so their mental development didn't worry me either.

Unless someone's doing something overtly dangerous, I think we're all just trying to muddle through, and seeing people using slings in the way that the manufacturers expect them to be used really isn't something I'm going to have a go at new parents about..

I used to love them facing out in the baby Bjorn. Mine used to go crazy waving her little arms and legs with excitement. She’s 13 and appears completely unharmed.

I face my son outwards all the time. He loves it. He seems absolutely fine.

My brother was faced outwards when my mum had him, for a long time, and he's now a professional athlete.

This is an incredibly judgy post.

Weird that I’m a dragon for having her forward facing but would have been largely supported if I’d had the stomach to persist with sleep training her (incidentally she coslept forever so wasn’t deprived at all).

Don't worry, there would be plenty of people lining up to tell you that you had damaged her brain and just shouldn't have had children at all if you'd sleep trained. Trust me.

I really can't muster the energy to be upset about parents forward facing their babies in carriers occasionally. I mean, it won't be ideal if that style of carrying is the default position for all journeys but how often is that the case?

When I used forward facing it was usually to keep them awake just that bit longer so I could put them down to sleep so I could have a sleep too.

I formula fed, sleep trained and had DD forward facing in the buggy sometimes. Call SS!

Jesus. Why so judgey?
I'll never understand why it matters so much to random people how other people parent their children. If what they're doing isn't illegal or abuse, leave them the fuck alone!

Wow, OP, that’s some black & white world you live in there. Chock full of assumptions too.

If this were a subsection of MN where parents were debating how best to hike Everest with their baby strapped to them, then you might have a point. But no way does the research you cite support banning forward-facing carriers for the normal journeys that normal parents are making. Nor does it account for the fact that some babies simply wont end up going out/around at all unless they can forward face. So we have to balance their needs for socialisation, fresh air, stimulation and their parents’ needs to leave the house (work, social ties, errands) with the potential risks of short term forward facing carriers.

Note that word- BALANCE. Your own parenting, and certainly the response to your posts, will be much improved by its use.

Sheeesh.

balloon "I formula fed, sleep trained and had DD forward facing in the buggy sometimes. Call SS!"

DO YOU EVEN LOVE YOUR CHILD???

It makes me really cross because this constant hyper-vigilance about what other kind and loving parents are doing and labelling it sub-par against some hypothetical and ever changing standard of excellence creates an environment that is just absolutely toxic.

Are we meant to pretend that it plays no part in informing a culture of perfectionism around children that ultimately and inevitably makes the children of this generation the most anxious yet?

I had my son in a forward-facing buggy when he was young. It was the only time of day that I got a mental break as he was a refluxy baby. I read the research on forward-facing buggies and it didn't seem that conclusive to me. Yes, parents were found to talk more to their babies in rear-facing buggies, but my son always slept in the buggy, so that wasn't a huge issue for us. Babies are in the buggies and carriers for usually a short period of time every day, so it shouldn't affect their development too much. In some traditional cultures, babies are strapped to their mum's back for pretty much the whole day. This hasn't been found to adversely affect their development. I just think the whole thing has been blown out of proportion.

Cornettoninja - yup. I kept DD facing me in the buggy for longer than I would otherwise have done, because I was worried about bumping into members of the local smug mummy brigade when we were out and about. I wish I hadn't bothered because DD was so damn happy (I mean, shrieking with excitement happy) the first time I took her for a spin forward-facing. And, three years on, the kids with the hardcore attachment parenting mothers are no more - or less - well-adjusted than DD.

I think the really toxic thing is that everyone feels like the people doing it 'the other way' get loads of support and approval and that makes them defensive and lash out - but no one is getting that. On lots of the endless tedious bf/ff bunfight threads it's clear each group thinks the other is getting endless praise and pats on the head while they get criticised. Same with the WoHM/SaHM threads. Each side seems to think the other is getting all this lovely validation that they're being denied. Actually, you seem to get more criticism than praise from society however you parent (if you're a mother, that is. If you're a father you can get praise and admiration for keeping your child alive alone for anything more than a 10 minute stint, and if you interact with them most days that's enough to be an 'amazing dad')

I used to have one of my dds facing outwards, because i have twins and could not cope with one of them screaming the entire walk home. She was in the carrier once a week MAX, and she is perfectly fine now. please spend your time commenting on things that matter OP, rather than judging people's parenting choices and making them feel that they have to justify themselves to you.

If you're a father you can get praise and admiration for keeping your child alive alone for anything more than a 10 minute stint, and if you interact with them most days that's enough to be an 'amazing dad'

Yes to this!

Lemme guess - you run onto the babywearing group to melodramatically weep about the poor little mite you saw being hauled around in a... now what was the term again... "crotchdangler" last week and share your indignation and reward your superior parenting as well. In between wetting your pants for the latest Oscha release and waiting for your custom carrier to be produced from whichever maker is uber-desirable at the moment. Oh yeah and also pouring scorn on the low-income mum who's using a cheapo mei-tai bought over the internet as also being a shitty mother.

Babywearing elitists are the most judgemental unpleasant fucknuggets I ever encountered in the whole of the time mine were little.

For what it's worth I used a connecta a hell of a lot with DD1 who responded better to it, and I didn't have to faff on with pushchairs on public transport - DD2 went absolutely ballistic at her lower body being constrained against me in any kind of sling or carrier I tried - she still likes being able to squirm and splat out now. Babies have their own agendas sometimes and are very very capable of making their wishes known - it's amazing really how they can be so little and helpless but also so bloody stubborn!

I front face my son for short periods (15-20 mins max) to walk to the shop or similar so that he gets a bit of variety now and again. I purposely chose a structured carrier that supports him in a frog-leg position. I have read the research and made the decision that I felt was right for my baby.

YABU to judge other mothers based on your personal interpretation of inconclusive research. If you want to demonstrate that you’re a much better parent than the rest of us then campaign about road safety or vaccinations or something else that actually saves lives.

As long as baby is safe and in the correct position they're the main things.

My dc are 7 and 11. When yours are older op I hope you'll realise that us mums are just doing our best. The only person who truly knows their baby is the parents and they will consider the information they have and make decisions. We all parent differently yet most dc flourish. When mine were younger the advice said to have them facing outward from 6 months. Dd1 is 11, healthy, has a high reading age and achieving 118/120 in her mock sats. Judging from your post you'd expect her to be failing at life.

A stressed mum has a negative impact on dc so May I suggest you lighten up.