Who is BU here, me or DP?

[Bluesheep8]

We both work full time. He earns considerably more than me but we see it that we both work hard to pay for our home and our lifestyle, both put the same effort in but are just paid different amounts iyswim, so the fact that I earn less is not the issue here. DP is also a natural saver and is really good with money. He also values our home and likes it to look nice. I often find though, that I have to cajole and persuade if I see something for the house. We have no garden furniture and there is a 20% discount at a local garden centre, meaning that the little bistro set I've had my eye on is £63. He says we shouldn't buy it and it will still be there in a few weeks (At full price) He also mentioned going out for drinks and a meal today, so I pointed out that that would end up costing around the same and that we should buy the bistro set instead and have drinks in the garden. He says we don't need it and repeats that we can get it later. Like I said, I regularly have to persuade/convince him to buy things...Who do you think is BU here?

He can't see the point in adding what he calls a finishing touch until the work is done....he's also said that he would rather go and buy a larger set and a bench AFTER the work is done and thinks the small set is a bit pointless
Sounds like he doesn't value your opinions at all and it's all about him.

He's not even making an effort to compromise, he's just trying to railroad you.

If he goes for the dinner out make sure you use joint money to buy the table.
I think you'll find the wage difference does influence his thinking.....

OP says she’s “had her eye on” the bistro set so not sure why it’s suddenly the wrong type. I sit in my garden in lots of different weathers, doesn’t have to be glorious sun to have a cup of tea out there. I’d hate to have nothing to sit on, for the foreseeable. OP maybe leave this for now but I’d be filing it away and revisiting if I found more or my suggestions were being overruled in favour of his suggestions...

But the OP has admitted that she would also rather something bigger in due course - it's just that the thing she has her eye on (which she admits is not exactly what she wants) is cheap at the moment?!!

These are Bluesheep's exact words: "Yes, I would like a bigger set. I was just taken with the idea that I could get something for £63 today." I have every sympathy for someone who is not inclined to spend money on something they don't actually want just because it is cheap today.

Having read the update I would say wait and buy the bigger set.

Yeah I don’t think the bistro set is really the issue here
I often find though, that I have to cajole and persuade if I see something for the house

Have you got a link? Just want to see as I'm also looking for a small dining set for next to the French doors.

"Cajole and persuade" seems like an odd description. In our house, either of us might choose something, though usually one or both will pick out a bunch of options and then make the final decision together. The size would be a huge part of that joint decision, because presumably you'll only buy one set of garden furniture, so it's daft to get a small one if you'll be left wishing you had a big one next month. I can't get my head around those who would just buy furniture without talking to their OH; you both have to live with it and in this case there isn't even agreement about the size both should agree or compromise before buying. It just seems so disrespectful to go about buying things randomly and expect someone else to live with them whether they like it or not.

With your initial post I thought ”just buy it”, but given he wants a nicer set with a bench etc I'd wait and use a house chair or picnic blanket if it was nice enough to sit out. You could end up stuck with the small set as clutter or he would rightly say you don't need the big set when the garden is finished.

As for your bigger finances issue, you really need to chat about it. My DH is a saver whereas I tend to get all the bits we need for the house, and we get round it by agreeing a set amount we want to save each month. Everything else after bills/rent is fair game, and we have savings which is great.