Who is BU here, me or DP?

[Bluesheep8]

We both work full time. He earns considerably more than me but we see it that we both work hard to pay for our home and our lifestyle, both put the same effort in but are just paid different amounts iyswim, so the fact that I earn less is not the issue here. DP is also a natural saver and is really good with money. He also values our home and likes it to look nice. I often find though, that I have to cajole and persuade if I see something for the house. We have no garden furniture and there is a 20% discount at a local garden centre, meaning that the little bistro set I've had my eye on is £63. He says we shouldn't buy it and it will still be there in a few weeks (At full price) He also mentioned going out for drinks and a meal today, so I pointed out that that would end up costing around the same and that we should buy the bistro set instead and have drinks in the garden. He says we don't need it and repeats that we can get it later. Like I said, I regularly have to persuade/convince him to buy things...Who do you think is BU here?

I think he is BU - it's on sale now, buy it now and save the extra.

Why wait a few weeks until it's no longer on sale and costs more??

That's crazy thinking.

Why not just buy it now, store it somewhere whilst the garden is finished and then use it?
That way the furniture finishes the garden off, you make a saving because it's at a discounted price, and you're both then happy surely?

Ah, seeing your update I do see his point. There's a 'house' budget and he's right that buillding work (which may include unpredictable costs, so not leave money for furniture spare, without further saving) takes priority within that budget - if it's something you've both committed to.

So, your angle has to be either that 'garden meal' is a treat, displacing 'meal out' from your spending budget (which, given start of season and saving, does make sense).

Or, that if you can afford casual meals out all the time, you're not saving enough and could get all the house stuff done faster if you saved more. And ate at home - and in the garden - more often

I'd not buy garden furniture if there was a chance it would get messed up during the work.
Sales happen all the bloody time, there is another bank holiday at the end of the month.

But it doesn't sound like the issue is about the garden furniture, it's that he can decide to spend £60 on a meal and you can't spend £60 on something you want.

It all sounds so tedious.
Is he a cyclist ?

I expect he wants something better in time OP, but a small extra bistro set is really handy when you have a lot of visitors.

Why don't you say you're putting your half of the next two restaurant bills towards the garden furniture?

He's still free to go out for dinner, but you'll skip this trip and the next trip to pay for the furniture.

Make hay while the sun shines OP.
Sit in your garden when you can, not just after all the “work” on it is done.

@PettyContractor this clearly isn't a case of the DH not liking the item because he's said she can get them at a later date.

I bought some armchairs yesterday. I asked DH which he preferred as he has to sit on them and live with them, but I asked because I value his opinion not because I need his permission to spend money. If I'd wanted to spend the same on clothes or something very personal to me I wouldn't have asked.

eustas ha ha, no he isnt

Does he actually want the bistro set eventually or would he prefer a larger set of garden furniture?

Just had another conversation about it. He can't see the point in adding what he calls a finishing touch until the work is done. He also pointed out that we have nowhere to store it yet (a shed is part of the work) he's also said that he would rather go and buy a larger set and a bench AFTER the work is done and thinks the small set is a bit pointless.

Ok, if your arrangement is that you discuss and agree before either of you make a 60pound purchase then it's fair.

But yes it's fucking tedious. If you have money to save every month, you're fairly comfortable but have no where to sit in the garden just get the table. Life is just too short. Summers here. Enjoy it.

Out of interest, does he squirrel away way more savings than you every month?

It can stay outside with a tarpaulin cover over it all year round. £10.

Well I was going to say that, on the basis of the info here, I would probably be v petty and buy the set out of my own money and then forbid him from sitting on it

But actually now he’s elaborated on his reasoning it sounds as though he has some sensible points. So, I’m on the fence I’m afraid.

When there is still work to be done on the house (approx 5k) he sees garden furniture as a bit of a frippery and something to be bought after the work on the house is done.

Eating out is a frippery that ends up down the toilet.

He makes good points.

But, how often are going to find yourselves eating out this summer because the house / garden is a mess form the work?

Could this set be viewed as a temporary measure, to enable savings on summer dining and be re-sold at the end of the summer?

He is BU. I hate it when men dictate to women what they can and can't buy.

I can see both sides here. I might be tempted to look on secondhand selling sites to pick up an even cheaper set to use temporarily (and pay for it out of my spending money, as it seems you want it and he's not bothered) while the works being done. Then you get what you want, but still have most of the money to put towards the larger, nicer set in the fullness of time.

I think from what you say you have a budget to get stuff for the house which is separate from the budget for socialising. You have both decided what the £5k should be spent on. You have both agreed to go out socially today.

The purchase is above what you have agreed. He has told you that he doesn’t like it and you don’t need it. But you see it as an investment as it means you don’t have to go out. Personally I don’t. Sitting outside your house is nice just like sitting inside your house is nice. But it is not the same as going out for lunch. I would still want to go out for lunch as agreed. It is not even nice weather today.

As others point out these sales don’t ever stop. The price is £63 now and it will be in the future.

he's also said that he would rather go and buy a larger set and a bench AFTER the work is done and thinks the small set is a bit pointless
Do you agree that you would like a bigger set?

Yes, I would like a bigger set. I was just taken with the idea that I could get something for £63 today. In response to a pp, no he doesn't squirrel away more than me. Whatever's left at the end of the month goes into savings for the house and we jointly decide what home improvements to make next.

Sounds like he is right then. He sounds so like my DH. DH has never impulse bought in his life.

If you want a bigger set no point getting the bistro set, we have a patio at both ends of the garden (over 100ft) we have a big wooden set and table at the bottom as it stays sunny all day, and we have a bistro set on the patio by the kitchen. When we first got it we used it for morning coffee, but honestly now it only gets used to put the laundry basket on while one of us is hanging it out on the line

Well buying something now that isn't quite right because it's cheap now is just bloody ridiculous, OP, particularly given the fact you won't enjoy it for the next few weeks anyway, because the weather forecast is crap. I'm with your dh - finish the garden then buy something appropriate.