Inheritance

[NowWeAreSuckingDiesel]

A member of my husbands family just passed away. 99! Great innings. Not a huge estate, but wants to leave each great grandchild £1k. I'm currently 3 months pregnant with my second, and my daughter is a year old. The foetus isn't getting the money and I can see it from both sides. That relative didn't meet (but did know about) the new baby and the estate can't make provisions for every potential but unborn baby obviously.

I want to match the £1k for this baby from my husbands inheritance but my husband doesn't agree. He says just over time things will probably even up and if not, then that's the way the cookie crumbles. He is a very black and white man, and isn't very money orientated. If his siblings had been left money he didn't have, he genuinely wouldn't care. Me and my siblings have always grown up in a very "I want what you've got" attitude and my mum has always been quite greedy. I'd hate for this money to come between my kids but then I'm conscious I want them to grow up in a household with my husbands attitude to money rather than my family's.

So aibu to want to put my husbands £1k inheritance into a bank account for my unborn child because the other one has been left the same amount?

I know there are lots of bigger and more important things to be worried about...

Yawn at the stealth bragging of @Sunshinecake.... There's always one

We've had six wills read in our family over the last 9 years and all have included the clause to allow for foetuses at the time of death to inherit an equal sum (at birth, obvs).

So posters saying that unborn babies can't inherit anything are incorrect; the law does provide for this scenario.

The will wording has allowed for that scenario, not the law.

If it just says 'children', then it is those alive (and born) at the time of the death.

It's up to the benefactor, and how good their advisor is, whether a clause like that goes in.

Someone upthread raised the Premium Bond dilemma - what if one child won a fortune and the other didn’t?

My DC were lucky enough to be given the maximum holdings in PB by their GPS so they often won small amounts. The rule we adopted as a family was that any amount they won up to £500 was theirs to keep on a ‘spend half, save half’ basis. In the unlikely event and either of them won £500 or more they were to spilt it equally and the same ‘spend half, save half’ rule applied to their share. It only happened once when they were early teens, one of them did win £500 and unquestioningly split it with the other and they were both thrilled to have the (to them) vast amount of £125 to spend and another £125 to add to their savings.

They are both in their 20s now and their stash of PBs has been considerably depleted after each spending 4 years at uni but they both have a few left. They are holding on to them in the hope one of them wins big in which case they would stick to the old rule and split it 50:50.

If I were you OP I would put the £1000 inheritance into PBs for the older child and then gradually buy a few PBs a month for the other one until you gradually build up a similar amount for them.

Tunbridgewells - have you read a different thread? What ill feeling? I'm not suggesting I ask for £1k from the estate for my unborn kid, nor am I saying that it's unfair they haven't had anything. I've said that makes sense to me. I've just asked whether it's unreasonable for us as a family to make it up, either by using the money my husband is getting or by us putting in monthly until it's the same level.

In any case, the grandparent made the will years ago and it says grandchildren get £1k. Maybe there is an in utero clause, I haven't asked.

This all just came out today via my husbands mum, so maybe it does say my husband and me. I haven't actually seen it.

One way or another, both my kids would get the same.

@Disfordarkchocolate nobody is being deprived. OP said the will stated £1K to each Grandchild and to each great grandchild. I would include the grandchild currently in the womb as one of those people.

Like GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER said. That's how we work in our family, by thinking about what is fair, and thinking about what the benefactor would have wanted to be done.

@GowGow I suspect no-one is going to put notes in an envelope under the mattress - the assumption is that the £1000 is invested and therefore worth an equivalent amount when the child gets to 18. Just as we did for my dc when my parents died when they were little.

No, it's not family money. It's your DH's left to him by his granddad as stipulated in the will. but clearly the OP and her dh are the kind of couple who look at all money coming in to the family as being there fore the e many couples do. In the same way that one person's salary isn't "their money". The couple are a unit, and work like one. It works for a lot of couples.

SunshineCake It isn't really typical for 18 yr olds to have a 5 figure sum though. For most, £1K is a HUGE amount at 18 - for first car or whatever.
Nancydrawn I think you are underestimating what a difference having £1700 or not will make to an 18 yr old. I can't begin to imagine knowing one of my dc had that and the other didn't "because it is just one of those things"

SunshineCake are you actually giving an 18 year old control of a 5 figure sum?

There's 5 children of the grandparent, with 5 grandchildren from them, and 4 great grandchildren (born) from them. Just if it helps for context! Thought it might be interesting! The estate is about £500k...

It was certainly the norms amongst my peers. I got a 6 figure sum at that age, as did many of my friend group. My children will get the same. For some people it is typical. It just depends on your social circle.

You're very welcome! It's easy to find this all really overwhelming, but the important thing to remember is that a little bit now can add up to a lot later on. Honestly, even if some months it's £10, it adds up.

You can also have the odd top-ups with holiday/bday money. Particularly when I was a baby, my parents would just throw that in a savings account for me. And when I was a little older, they'd usually split the money, with half going to me to spend and half into the account. That adds up, over time, as well.

A junior ISA is really safe and non-taxable (I think). But if you want to go with a higher-return, taxed savings, you can also do thatdepends on your tolerance for risk. I have a little side investment account (I use an app called Wealthfront, and I'm sure there's something similar in the UK) that's currently getting ~7.8% with a medium-risk investment profile. I automatically deduct $100/month into it. If I started with £1k and saved £100/month, it would be nearly £42k at the end of 16 years. Now, that's way less safe than an ISA, which is a steady and reliable rate. It all depends on the level of risk you're comfortable with. [I do not love risk! My BIL has a way higher risk tolerance than I do and is beating my socks in the investment marketbut he knows it could all come crashing down.]

But really, every bit you save now will pay dividends in the future. And the great thing is that it's scalable. If things get tougher, you can drop down to £20/month. Or if you end up saving a ton on childcare/get a raise/have another small gift, you can top things up. Either way, it's a nice thing to be able to give your kids when they head off to uni/need to rent their first apartment/want to learn to drive/whatever.

Thing is @BackforGood unless the will stated this was to include grandchildren already conceived the executors can't give money to a potential child.

If you want to build an equivalent sum up gradually that's fine, but it is wrong to expect your DH to hand over his entire inheritance to your unborn child!

It's irrelevant how big or small the estate is. The bequest is what it is. This is the second thread recently with someone upset that their unborn child doesn't qualify for the inheritance.

OP, I hadn't read all the posts and had come back to retract my s but got distracted. Consider them politely retracted ..

PML at being accused of stealth bragging . Good job that's all I said. You'd combust.

Ginger1982 - not fully but he's capable of being sensible if I chose too.

While we would make sure their money was all very similar we don't split premium bond winnings. We always reinvest anyway.

£500 for each kid. Sorted.

@opticaldelusion

Try reading the thread. That would be theft.

I think it’s good to build up the equivalent for dc2 if you can, whether in one lump sum from the inheritance or over time or a bit of both. And do the same for subsequent dcs.

One of my dcs has a godparent and the other doesn’t, so when the godparent in question sends some money over to their godchild we always match it in our other child’s account.

SunshineCake It isn't really typical for 18 yr olds to have a 5 figure sum though. For most, £1K is a HUGE amount at 18 - for first car or whatever. 1k for a car???

I would try and put the same money aside for the baby. I think your husband is being a bit unreasonable in not doing it now from his inheritance if he could. Surely part of parenting is to be prepared to treat your children the same!

Just divide the money between the two children. Has your husband only been left 1k ? If so then let him treat himself.

What is your DH's parent's view of all of this? Presumably as bequests to the grandchildren and great-grandchildren are £1,000 each, the bulk of the estate is divided between the surviving children, one of whom is your DC's grandparent? Are they in a position to give £1,000 from their share of the estate to benefit their unborn grandchild, to even things up within your branch of the family, if your DH won't make over his £1k inheritance to the bump when it arrives? If not (and I appreciate as a pensioner they may not be in a position to), I think in your shoes I would save a monthly amount for the bump and even things up that way.

I would split the 1k between both of your children if I were you.

1k for a car???

dd's first car was £300
ds's first car was £500

I know, £1000 would be quite a lot - but what you don't spend on the car you can put towards the insurance.

YANBU for wanting both children to be the same but as the inheritance isn't yours and the £1k you want to give to the second child isn't yours to give them it's not really your choice to take it off him and ring fence for a person not yet here.

£1k is a lot of money to many people, by the time both kids are 18 they will be old enough to understand that the eldest has more because she inherited from a grandparents before youngest was born. Or like your dh says, it'll even out over time.

I received a similar amount from a relative who dies without a will and it's passed down and down and down. It didn't enter dha head to plan how to use it for me. I paid debts off, put a bit in dds savings, bought some shoes I'd been lusting after and treat dh and dd to a few bits and bobs.

Don't think you can legally take half off the eldest to share with the youngest one either. My stepmum tried to this when my Dads biological children inherited the above and her adult son got £0. She wanted to take her disabled dds £1k and give to adult stepbrother (funny cos he was raging about being left out while knowing my Dad had left him £80k after writing his 8 and 6 year old children out of his will and adding step brother.) I phoned the solicitor because it can't be right that she can take her disabled daughters money off her and she was told by the solicitor to put every penny back.

Because there's such a long time to go id leave you his face to do what he wants with his inheritance and either match the £1k over time or explain it's from before she was born.

Ceara, that's a good point. My husband only mentioned it today so I haven't spoken to his parents. They are extremely generous people so they'd never see someone go without, even if they didn't equal up the will directly.

if you can afford it give ds2 1000