People who look so polished ... How???

[birthdaymayhem]

Posting for traffic and maybe in the hopes of finding a wizard who can tell me how to achieve this.

So in my immediate circle of friends I know 2 couples who always look so polished and put together they could've jumped out of a Next catalogue!
For me it's like dark magic. They always have clean, ironed and up to date clothes.
Especially the ladies, hair always blow dried or very neat, ridiculously smooth skin even up close, and clothes which must've come out of the brand new next collection (they all dress in a very similar way).
None of them are "would look good in a bin bag and a pair of crocs" type of beautiful but they are just so well put together they always look amazing!

But how can you look so good, fresh and put together all the time with 2 or 3 small DCs in tow, a house and job and all the stuff that comes along with that?

My put together is clothes that passed the sniff test and makeup hastily slapped on whilst DCs are having breakfast before we are out of the door.

As pps say, definitely time, energy and effort. I am too lazy to look polished unless I am going to a wedding.

I will skip a day when my hair needs a wash and if I have chipped nail varnish I hope people won’t notice. I don’t clean my shoes unless they are visibly muddy. I have a hole in a seam on a pair of trousers and I just wear a top over it rather than sew it. Visibly polished people would never be like that.

I think there is a big difference between looking groomed and looking polished. I could spend a lot of time/money on grooming but still wouldn't look polished. IMO for the polished look you need good genes, upright posture, weight distribution in all of the right places none of which I have.

GabrielleNelson if you’re still here - you make a very good point, of course. But I can confidently say that in some contexts men absolutely do make a similar effort. Certainly in my past life in the City it was the men who wore the Savile Row suits and handmade shoes. Gym memberships and extremely regular barber appointments. Stupidly expensive watches. Etc. (Not forgetting the £100k car parked outside.)

I’m in a very different environment now (culturally if not geographically) but I’m still conscious of wanting never to look less well presented than the best presented people (male or female) in the room. Although hell will freeze over before I submit to another manicure ...

Am I the only person who would seriously rather look like a bag lady than only wear black, white, navy and camel? I will be the mad old lady in purple with a red hat that doesn't go, or however it goes. Except that I hate hats.

That's fine. I love colour & patterns and accessories so at uni I used to spend ages every morning perfectly curating my quirky but stylish outfits.

Long working hours and children mean that I'd now rather spend that time on other things so I only go all out for weddings and special occasions. I limit my colours and fashion choices for my daily wardrobe as it saves time and reduces decision fatigue, while still allowing me to look put together.

Hair - Needs to look healthy, with a nice trim. Shoulder-length or longer.

Oh, come on. Millions of women across the world are poorly groomed because they don’t have hair you like?

I think to many people looking good is a time consuming hobby, make sure you book an appointment before your hair looks a mess, keep buying the latest make up and spend ages doing it, spend alot on clothes, shoes, expensive bags, etc.

To be more obsessive, face lifts and other cosmetic surgery ,visits to the beautician regularly, strict diet all in all very expensive and time consuming.

I have a horse so none of the above applies ... Most of the women I have met who take things this seriously are trying to keep a wealthy husband happy - or looking for a new one.

I do wear a lot of navy, white, black and grey I look awful in camel but I love red and purple . It is about what suits you and feeling comfortable in your own skin.

Also, dp looks pretty put together, actually, so for us it's pretty fair, I think.

Straighten it before bed, sleep on it, and you'll wake up with hair that looks naturally sleek but not overly done.

Whenever I do that, I look like I've been dragged through a hedge. There are kinks there that weren't there before, curls at the front and it'll be greasy by 3pm because I've been faffing to try and keep it presentable, so I'll need to shove it up in a ponytail anyway!

Not everyone has hair that can be calmed (and that can stay calm in all weathers)

I would like to think I look polished but I seriously hope I don’t look like I’ve stepped out of the Next catalogue and neither do I wear jeans, blazers and pearls.

It takes a bit of time but not too much

• hair cut every few months but I either straighten properly, use a babyliss big hair or go for a blow dry

• nails short but polished. Shellac every 3 weeks I go to somewhere great where you are in and out in 15 minutes for £15

• not too many colours together. No need to spend a fortune, H&M, Warehouse and actually lots of M&S are great. It’s all in the cut and it needs to fit.

• I don’t spend a fortune on makeup - simple foundation, mascara and bronzer but I do have Botox 3 times a year just so I look a bit less knackered

• I do drink, don’t smoke, don’t get too worries about water and going to bed at 8.30

The honest answer is that I think it is instinctive or it’s not. I like to look nice, it’s really important to me so it’s simply no effort.

Kat Farmer is my style crush, she’s as far from white shirts and camel coats as you can get but she’s very very polished.
www.instagram.com/doesmybumlook40/?hl=en

Straighten it before bed, sleep on it, and you'll wake up with hair that looks naturally sleek but not overly done.

No it looks lovely and fuzzy again and needs the straighteners immediately

This is the thing, I don’t sleep well. I’m not sure I ever really have! Even as a small kid I would stay in bed till midday if I could! I think I have felt tired all my life. So I fall at the first hurdle there.

I wasn’t really blessed in the looks department, yes I can look passable with effort but I would never be described as beautiful or even pretty. My hair has never been glossy, even straight from the hairdresser.

I’m tall and broad with very big feet. I’d look utterly ridiculous in a pair of high heeled strappy sandals for instance. I always had a small chest so a lot of tops just don’t sit right.

I have come to accept that I am one of those people who is never going to look polished. if I had a good basis to work with, I might be inclined to make an effort but I don’t and I’m not willing to spend hours and £££ to just be a slightly better version of mediocre!

I feel like my fine hair and blemish prone skin mean I will never, ever look polished.
I also think I've forgotten how to dress - jeans and a top always over here so following with interest but sadly, nothing to add as one of the Unpolished

GeorgeTheBleeder Where did I say that this was hair I personally like?My own hair is short! OP asked for suggestions, I work in the fashion and beauty industry so I gave them based on my experience. Long, healthy hair does look extra luscious and polished.

I've long ago given up straightening my curly hair because the slightest drizzle and it frizzes plus it's long and thick and would take forever. So, I use products that help keep the curl or just put it up. I wash it twice a week with a mask, but just refresh with water, leave in conditioner and hair creme, it takes minutes.

I am interested in clothes, but I'm ultimately practical, I have a teen and a child with sn, so I need to have clothes that are easy to put on. Atm I often wear a uniform of jacket + jumper + jeans + trainers. I might swap that around with raincoat, boots or skirt. I try to make it easy for myself to get ready in the mornings. I do love accessories, so would ring the changes with those.

It starts with basic foundations & keeping up a simple a simple routine.

Bra that fits - get fitted & replace regularly, hand wash after a few wearings.
Knickers that suit YOUR body type, e.g. briefs, thongs, big pants.
Tights that fit, hand wash to keep quality & have several in stock.
Work shirts that fit - Bravissimo is good for big busts.
Accept your true body shape & buy capsule items that fit you in a neutral colour for work.
Leather or suede shoes cleaned every time before you leave the house., if you in a tearing hurry wipe with a damp flannel (goes in wash after etc).
Simple short nails & neat cuticles.
Hand cream frequently so hands look good.
Haircut every 6-8 weeks in a style that suits your hair, face & lifestyle.
Fringe trim between cuts to keep neat line & flattering to your face - a good hairdresser will do this between cuts for free.
Keep hair at a length you can put up in french twist or bun for bad hair days, & support stray tresses with clips. If your hair is fine, spritz hairspray onto brush to smooth fine hairs.

Handbag - quality, no need for designer.
Keep make up, hair stuff, spex, monies, mobile charger, receipts etc organised in small separate bags in nice textured fabric or colours, so you can feel or see for them quickly in the depths of your hand bag.
Completely empty your handbag at least weekly & only put back the essential functional items (in said dedicated smaller bags for organisation) you need.

Being polished is not just how you look, it is also about how you behave or perform- no faff & everything to hand - & this hinges on being organised & prepared.

I used to be absolutely awful and it wasn't until I started working with more put together people that I improved.
I had to relearn how to do all this as my mother never looks well and as a child I learned all the wrong things. Good clothes were saved for good occasions. Everyone dressed in old, falling apart clothes most of the time. Everything was worn for ages before being washed. Baths were once a week. Everything was bought in Primark and it was chosen on the basis of how easy it was to wash. My mother still complains about not looking good but she's not willing to change anything.

Good list methalusa and confirms why I never look polished. I have never had my hair done every 6-8 weeks. Far too much effort. I carry round loads of crap in my bag, don’t clean shoes etc etc.

I also think it depends what you mean by polished - one woman's polished is another woman 's cabin crew / TOWIE / Kardashian!

To a pp, at least one man has replied on here! My teenager sons find the shaving routine a definite bore, so I imagine that is a pain for many.

I wouldn't say I look polished, as polished isn't the look I'm going for. I've never really been the Ralph Lauren type, and it's not something that suits me/my coloring/my features. But I do look good and feel confident.

My basic mood is fun-not-fussy. Fussiness is the worst.

Hair:
Flattering cut. I have crazy curls everywhere and have learned to embrace. Rarely shampoo, use excellent conditioner, and air dry.

Face:
Very simple makeup routine.
-Serum with SPF
-While that dries, couple slicks of mascara
-I have striking natural eyebrows. I just use a little Boybrow by Glossier.
-BB cream, again with SPF, rubbed in with fingers to even skin tone
-Slice of highlighter on cheekbones and nose
-Tinted lip balm if I want it

Literally takes 2-3 minutes. I still look like me, and bonus that the SPF helps with long-term skin. A huge amount of makeup takes way too much time and 9 times out of 10 makes the person look worse not better.

Clothes:
I have a kind of uniform that I wear most spring/summer days: slim black pants; well-fitting soft t-shirts in black, blue, green, or garnet; cardigan in either black/grey or jewel tones.

I wear good flats (I've been enjoying Rothys recently) and have a fantastic, posh-but-slightly-boho purse.

Absolutely nothing with frills, flounces, open shoulders, etc. Clothes don't have to be fancy (many of my best shirts come from Target), but they also shouldn't be flimsy. Cheap material holds stains and wrinkles and looks shabby quickly.

I have a go-to 8-10 pieces, making getting dressed super easy.

Accessories:
Nothing looks less polished than fussiness.

I often wear simple jewelry with a hint of funk (so, plain faux-diamond studs, but a little too big, or clean-line ear cuffs).

My go-to for jewelry is bauble bar. Some of their stuff is OTT, but it's at a really good price point and has a bit of cheek to it. You can go OTT if you have the confidence to pull it off.

For all that's holy do not wear anything heartshaped/Pandora-ed (or similar mood) unless it's ironic.

Nails:
Essie nail polish on very short nails in interesting, usually dark colors (eggplant, forest green, garnet, smoke grey, rose gold).

Person:
I try to give myself 15-30 minutes a day for myself. I have slightly decadent baths. Occasionally use a face mask when otherwise watching tv/hanging around the house. I exfoliate 1-2 times a week, which my skin needs. I drink a decent amount of water.

Also key: I have a lot of fun. I laugh a lot, I spend time with people I love, I have an occasional drink, I read things that interest me, I keep up with pop culture and politics. I know it sounds ridiculous, but when I don't do these things, my face seems less...alive.

@Rach182

Where do you buy your clothes from?

DS1 is one of these. He has his hair cut regularly, irons his clothes, polishes his shoes, uses a lint roller and checks himself in the mirror before he leaves in the morning. Don't know where he gets it from!

In summary, you have to care about what you look like enough to invest significant time and money. That's not just on a daily basis but planning ahead e.g. capsule wardrobe.

I do think your figure makes a huge difference too. Clothes are often designed for slimmer people

I have two basic looks.
Home where I have tousled hair, no makeup, comfortable clothes and boots by the door.
Work which is undoubtedly smarter but heaven forbid I look like any catalogue model.
My hair is good naturally but enhanced by a good hairdresser I’ve had for years and is subtly highlighted. I dry it for meetings so it looks tidier than usual.
I don’t wear high fashion clothes because they tend not to look smarter; classics lend themselves to a more groomed look.
Shoes are key. Good, leather shoes that are appropriate for environment. Not kitten heels, stilettos or lots of garish bits dangling off. Polished and in good repair. Nice coloured courts or brogues that offset neutral clothes.
Good tailoring. Clothes that fit properly. No squeezing bits in or folds hanging over waistbands. A decent jacket that highlights your strengths by pinning in a waist or adding length.
Choice of material. Some fabrics are never going to look smart. Some items of clothing are never going to look smart.
Good fitting underwear. Droopiness, bulges, obvious lines, dark underwear showing through transparent clothes are not a polished look.
Makeup that is as natural but enhancing as possible. Not false lashes and orange fake tan.
Good pieces of jewellery. No cheap tat. No hooped earrings or necklaces with names. Pearls, a decent vintage brooch, nothing too sparkly for daytime. A large piece of Amber or Jade not cubic zirconia. A good watch.
Avoid anything with labels showing.

Then keep everything in good repair. Spotlessly clean. Hanging on decent hangers and covered when not in use. No missing buttons or loose hems.
Put things out the night before. Check it is all in a fit state. Don’t eat in it before you go out. Dress after breakfast.

A pp mentioned tinted moisturiser, could they recommend a really good quality one? Ones I have used in the past don't seem to last. They're ok for holidays in the sun but don't stand up the god awful artificial light in the staff kitchen which actually makes me gasp out loud when I catch a glimpse of myself in the helpfully positioned mirror!
I get up earlier than everyone else at home to do my hair and make up. I still don't look polished and put together

Fortnightly routine : manicure- use an app for mobile beauty technicians so they come in eve when babies are in bed

Ooh what's this app please....I need it!