People who look so polished ... How???

[birthdaymayhem]

Posting for traffic and maybe in the hopes of finding a wizard who can tell me how to achieve this.

So in my immediate circle of friends I know 2 couples who always look so polished and put together they could've jumped out of a Next catalogue!
For me it's like dark magic. They always have clean, ironed and up to date clothes.
Especially the ladies, hair always blow dried or very neat, ridiculously smooth skin even up close, and clothes which must've come out of the brand new next collection (they all dress in a very similar way).
None of them are "would look good in a bin bag and a pair of crocs" type of beautiful but they are just so well put together they always look amazing!

But how can you look so good, fresh and put together all the time with 2 or 3 small DCs in tow, a house and job and all the stuff that comes along with that?

My put together is clothes that passed the sniff test and makeup hastily slapped on whilst DCs are having breakfast before we are out of the door.

@wineismycarb you only get one life. This isn't a rehearsal. I think mommies would or can be happier when they put importance on themselves. My daughter is autistic so I've had to put extra effort in to keep us both happy. It's worth it

It wasn't a dig @mumluv2 - I wasn't observing that I'm far lazier than you! My nails, for example, are a state. But I do always have my make up on... and just hope no one looks at my hands.

This is a thread about make up and clothes, let's not chuck biscuits!!

I never feel put together or polished.

My body shape appears to be alien - nothing ever fits right. I have big boobs and an extremely short waist.

I also find that clothes look tatty after a couple of wears. I wash them according to the label yet all knits get bobbly beyond repair or clothes dull, pick up a stain or something. I vowed to only buy higher quality stuff and exactly the same thing happened to them, so I don’t bother anymore.

I have to say, I’ve lost all hope. I now live in jeans and big baggy jumpers I pick up in Sainsbury’s. Occasions where I have to dress up terrify me.

I’m seriously considering paying a personal stylist to sort me out.

Thank you @ohtheroses we sound very similar. I 'put my face on' every morning regardless of what I'm doing, it's just always been part of my morning routine. Everyone looks better and fresher with a touch of make up and it takes less than 10 mins a day.

Regarding the Botox I only have the diluted version and just twice a year. So my face is still aging but more gently than it might have done.

@wineismycarb I didn't for one second take it as a dig!!!! I just really believe us mommies need to focus on us more than we are allowed believe. Having kiddies and then wondering how we're not the same anymore? Men never seem to have this problem which is why my mom taught me to look after me first. Sure every day aren't we all winging it someway???? Xx

If you're in between foundation colours go with the darker one - it will 'lift' your complexion.

Do not do this!!

Instead get yourself to a department store with some good brands and then try out different ones

If a range doesn’t have your colour, don’t go darker. Change range and find one that does suit you

far more important than image/looks are:
having a very good sense of humour
being kind**
treating everyone with respect
being humble
being a good listener
helping others whenever you can
trying to be positive

Well yes. Like manning sure you’re children are well fed is more important than mumsnetting.

The two are not mutually exclusive

They probably are in debt. That's what I always think when I feel threatened by this.

They spend hours on themselves-it's their priority.

@mumluv2 Oh good Totally after about keeping prioritising yourself after having DC. Easy for us to fall to the bottom of the pile!

Off to do my nails now, as DD3 sings and witters away in bed!

Good haircut, unbitten nails, shoes that aren't worn down and good jacket / coat.

For those posters who have said slim=polished I disagree. However if you’re not slim (I.e. a size8-10) a good bra makes a world of difference. Clothes hang completely differently on a well fitted bust. A poorly fitted bra shortens your waist and alters your neckline.

There’s another thread on here about patterned clothing - patterns are hard to get right and Fashionable patterns change so quickly. Plainer colours have more longevity. That doesn’t mean it has to be boring though! My rule is of top, bottoms and cardigan/jumper, one can be bright and the other two muted.

Why would they be in debt????

Pashminas

People I have met who look polished all the time either have full time help or prioritise their looks above everything else.

I met someone with 3 children once and was wondering how they all looked so polished, then I found out they had a full time housekeeper.

Another case was a colleague; she would wake up at 5 am to get herself and children ready.

I wouldn't say I spend hours on myself per day @jellyfish. From start to finish my morning routine takes 40 mins incl. shower, skincare, blow-dry and make up. For the rest of the day I only reapply lipstick and handcream.

My pedicure and waxing takes 2 hours every 5-6 weeks. Hair cut takes 30 mins every 4 weeks. It's really not much at all.

Some people seem to think you can’t be a nice, kind, funny person AND polished...This is odd. Of course your personality and how you treat people is a priority, as are your children. If you can also manage to get up a bit earlier to make yourself look and feel good, surely that’s a positive thing? Affix your oxygen mask first - if looking polished and in control makes you feel in control, then that’s really important. Similarly, if it isn’t, that’s fine too.

I don’t think someone with ‘birds nest hair and ratty old clothes’ can be classed as polished even if they are well-spoken. I think the thread is going off-track now with so many posters saying it’s who you are that matters.

They probably are in debt. That's what I always think when I feel threatened by this

No- the first rule of 'polished', frankly, is being thin.

Skinny jeans, flats & an ancient cashmere jumper + thin = polished.

Some people seem to think you can’t be a nice, kind, funny person AND polished...

These people should be ignored.

Some people seem to think you can’t be a nice, kind, funny person AND polished...This is odd.

I love being around women like this, they're like everyday Mary Poppinses. It's never going to be me, though.

Of course you can be nice AND polished. MIL is a sartorial disaster who wore clarks creeper sandals in the 60s and an elasticated waist from her 40s. She is every bit as nasty as my mother except she isn't a narcissist and it isn't premeditated. At least my mother doesn't actually laugh at people at their expense.

I don't spend that much time on myself. Hair every six weeks 90 mins, morning hair 5 mins, make-up 5 mins, pedi (because I'm old and can't bend to do them - well I can just but it's hard) every three weeks. Hand cream and nailfile in car at traffic lights.

Children grown but still managed it when they weren't. Full on, full time professional job - out at 7.15, often back at 8.30pm. Have handcream by bed, in car, in kitchen, on desk. I am quite sure I wouldn't have the same gravitas at work if I looked nearly 60 rather than 50ish (hopeful). Some of it is genetic; some of it is caring, 75% of it is deportment imo as well as good hair, skin and teeth. My skincare routine is and always has been eye make-up remover, soap and water. Latterly use a No 7 three in one wipe after soaping evening and a bit of their moisturiser in the morning. Need to lose 21lb.

Have a cleaner twice a week.

What a great thread.....

I have my hair done (cut and coloured) ever 4 or 5 weeks, acrylics and gel varnish every two weeks and a regular facial (just had a course of microdermabrasion) and eyebrows done. In the summer months I have regular pedicures. I have Botox when I can afford it.

I iron everything, love mulberry handbags and H&M and Tesco trousers. I like to work things out cost per wear. Love a rummage through TK Maxx.

Wear a good quality moisturiser, make up when in public and drink 3 litres of water a day. I feel better when I'm a size 10 (currently hovering at an 11). I like nice fabrics (cashmere, can pick it up very reasonably at TK Maxx) and shoes are ALWAYS clean.

People tell me I look posh. I'll take that!

And remember to smile, that, along with good posture makes a huge difference.

I admire women with the steel to get up early and do their hair/look good at all times. I got to my late twenties and just couldn't be arsed anymore. I saw a women the other day who had perfect, smooth, blonde straight hair in drizzly weather. I just thought, 'how??!!'