Page 3 | To be upset that he's always online but won't text back?

Thorntonschocolates · 2019-05-05T10:34:24+00:00

It's so frustrating when you can see he's been online 5-10 times on WhatsApp but can't even be arsed to text back or open your message. It's not like I'm texting about something that requires a long explanation, the other day he went to the dentist and I just texted him "how did it go?" Didn't even open my message but was online 6 times, only replied when I sent him another text. Sometimes he will reply with "I'm busy" or "having lunch/coffee". But then why are you always online when you're "so busy". It's frustrating and hurtful when you know he's probably texting other people but can't be arsed to text you. And it just makes me feel like I'm needy. I've spoken to him about it before and I also try to make excuses for him, but it's hard when you know he's always online. Been married for 4 years btw. Anyone else with a partner like this?

2rebecca · 05/05/2019 16:11

It sounds as though you need to accept that during the day he isn't wanting to chat and you sound under occupied. I never look at my husbands online status when he's at work. He's at work, As am I usually, we can chat when he gets home. Dental appointments are usually boring.
What is your relationship like when you are together? That is more important.

NoBaggyPants · 05/05/2019 16:18

Actually we don't know what he's doing on WhatsApp. For me, if a message comes through I'll read and 90% of the time then ignore it until later. So it will show me regularly online, but I'm not actively chatting with anyone.

I'd be really freaked out if I thought someone was tracking when I was online. Imagine if it was a husband doing that to his wife.

seven201 · 05/05/2019 17:03

Stop stalking your husband! I probably wouldn't reply to my husband if he sent me a message asking about a trip to the dentist. I get that every couple is different and me and dh don't message each other so it suits us, but it seems like it doesn't suit your husband either. You need to find a middle ground I guess.

Another123 · 05/05/2019 18:02

I have a similar issue OP.

My DP will send me messages throughout the day when he's bored at work but if I send him one and he's at home (we don't live together) half of the time he will ignore me until he's back at work.

I don't initiate conversations any more because I don't like not getting a reply.

Shatteredheart2020 · 06/10/2021 14:35

I would play him at his own game and when he messages you on a platform where you can see the other person has been on line such as WhatsApp etc then do the same to him and leave him on read for the same amount of time he does. I would also follow the advice as below and don't be as interested or caring. Easier said than done I know and harder for you as you are actually married to the guy. I was in a friends with benefits/casual relationship with this guy for just over 2 years and we had a falling out recently, first of many. Things were going good for a while until this recent falling out which was quite serious. He tried to reach out a few times via sending me stuff on WhatsApp and calling me all of which I ignored. No apology came from him and he left it a week before calling again. When I finally respond to his two calls and a message from him the day after he goes online and leaves me on unread. Very frustrating so I will do the same to him in return. It works both ways. If they don't like it being done to them then they shouldn't do it to you. Treat others how you wish to be treated yourself is my motto. I normally have the decency to reply to someone straight away unless I'm working, in an appointment, class or whatever and can't. I personally think my guy is with another woman. It doesn't really explain why he can't view it or respond when he can clearly respond to other people who take priority in your life. I myself can't be bothered with it anymore. I'm tired of all the games and wish I hadn't responded at all now. Do the same. He deserves the same treatment he gives you even if he isn't doing it intentionally. Sometimes people don't appreciate what's of most value to them till it's too late and then they're left with a piece of old junk. If only people could tell the difference between priceless antiques and a bit of old worthless bric a brac hey

BobbiPinsOn · 06/10/2021 14:41

stop texting him

Bumblenums1234 · 06/10/2021 14:54

@Shatteredheart2020

I would play him at his own game and when he messages you on a platform where you can see the other person has been on line such as WhatsApp etc then do the same to him and leave him on read for the same amount of time he does. I would also follow the advice as below and don't be as interested or caring. Easier said than done I know and harder for you as you are actually married to the guy. I was in a friends with benefits/casual relationship with this guy for just over 2 years and we had a falling out recently, first of many. Things were going good for a while until this recent falling out which was quite serious. He tried to reach out a few times via sending me stuff on WhatsApp and calling me all of which I ignored. No apology came from him and he left it a week before calling again. When I finally respond to his two calls and a message from him the day after he goes online and leaves me on unread. Very frustrating so I will do the same to him in return. It works both ways. If they don't like it being done to them then they shouldn't do it to you. Treat others how you wish to be treated yourself is my motto. I normally have the decency to reply to someone straight away unless I'm working, in an appointment, class or whatever and can't. I personally think my guy is with another woman. It doesn't really explain why he can't view it or respond when he can clearly respond to other people who take priority in your life. I myself can't be bothered with it anymore. I'm tired of all the games and wish I hadn't responded at all now. Do the same. He deserves the same treatment he gives you even if he isn't doing it intentionally. Sometimes people don't appreciate what's of most value to them till it's too late and then they're left with a piece of old junk. If only people could tell the difference between priceless antiques and a bit of old worthless bric a brac hey

So you ignored him and are now pissed off that he ignored you?

Honestly some people just crave drama.

LaBellina · 06/10/2021 14:57

You’re married to him, you’ve got all the time in the world to talk to him when he gets home. This wouldn’t bother me too much. My DH often forgets to reply at all. If I have an urgent question I don’t text him, I call.
I use what’s app mostly to send him silly cat videos and to remind him to pick up salty crackers/ bananas/whatever from the shop on his way home from work.

FatFredsFriedEgg · 06/10/2021 15:20

I wonder if she's really still waiting for his response two and a half years later?

Cas112 · 06/10/2021 15:26

I thought this was going to be a very early stage relationship. Calm down OP probably thinks he doesn't need to text you all day everyday if he's going to come home and conversate with you.