to ask how single mums deal with lack of sex?

[thinpinkshades]

Because I'm struggling. My son is 7 months old. I haven't had sex since I was 2 months pregnant and his dad left us. That's over a year.

I have needs...

How do you cope? My son takes up all my time so it's not like I have a chance to meet anyone...

Fabswingers.com

I'm too knackered most of the time to think about it but when I'm not I can do it better myself than my ex ever managed

I suspect that's true for many of us

I've not had sex with someone else since Christmas.
Long distance non relationship, see him 3 times a year and think about him at other times. It's enough for me.
Sometimes I think I want someone, more for intimacy than sex, I've never had great sex with men, it's easier and quicker alone.
Other times I think I can't be doing with the hassle and I'd rather concentrate on my ds and my career.
I guess if I could be bothered I'd try tinder or ask friends to set me up.
My ds is older than yours and I could make time if I wanted to. I just don't miss sex all that much..

Same for me. I don't need any gadgets apart from my imagination.
I don't have to make any effort, put up with mind games, or even brush my teeth.

This thread is so depressing 😔

Honestly used to feel the same.

It's been years since I've actually thought about having a man over. I just don't see the point - you've got to have intimacy and understanding first, which means a friendship. In my experience since having DD, men don't want to bother with that bit. So they never get to see anything else! I've got time to wait and am happier doing that than catching some horrid disease or have a stalking sex pest messaging me all hours of the day . You just have to go on any online dating site if you want hundreds of men spouting pointless chat about sex usually straight after Hi/Hey sexy/Fit! it's not like you won't be able to get it if you want it.

Marking my spot as in the same boat. I thought I missed sex and hooked up with a friends with benefit type but after I felt really low. It’s intimacy I miss. My dd 5 months.

FWB

I got through being a SP with my vibrator, the odd ONS or FWB, badoo/pof apps, hugs from friends and also at one point I went without even touching myself. The urges just went away.

When the babies are young it's far better to channel all of that love and care into them than start looking for someone else. It's daunting doing it solo but you have a new priority for now. Men and all of the drama they bring can wait

I also watch a lot of period dramas and fantasise about the good decent handsome men of the past 😂 that are properly more fiction than the shows.

OP, I’m a single mum and I love sex. I have a pretty high sex drive and that’s partly why I got divorced as my exh seemed to prefer porn to real life sex (with me anyway)
It shot my self esteem. I became disabled through pregnancy and my body is wrecked. I’m not the woman I was but honestly, I’m having some of the best sex of my life since divorce. I’ve had FWBs and boyfriends. I know lots of mums who put sex aside when they become single but sex us really important to me for my wellbeing. I love physical connection with another adult human and I love men’s bodies (I’ve also had lesbian dalliances but I love penis most )
You can get creative and find a way to have a regular sex partner or relationship . It is 100% harder when you’re completely alone 24/7 with your child but soon your little one will qualify for nursery, not sure if you’re working or not but there’ll be times out of the house but also when you meet someone who feels right and safe you can entertain them at home.
Married couples have sex with the baby in the house and there’s no reason why single woman should be denied the same pleasures. You might find once you’ve tried it that it’s too much hassle and you just want to focus on parenting.
This happens to me often too but ultimately I know I have choices.
I’m not ready to give up just yet!

Dragon what a refreshing post

I really missed sleeping with someone - the huge empty space in the bed, and my DD (aged about 10 at the time) bought me a large Teddy Bear in the school Jumble sale. I slept with him until I met my lovely current partner about 8 years later.

Married couples have sex with the baby in the house and there’s no reason why single woman should be denied the same pleasures

Well, yes, way back in the day, I had a couple of boyfriends stay over, but that all came to an end when I was chatting to a nice man and my two-year-old piped up asking if I was going to bring him home to sleep at our flat.

No sex here for 4.5 years as a lone parent. I guess it is not the physical deed that I miss (genitalia stimulation), but that feeling of being fancied/ pursued by another person.

Dragon I agree. Sex is important to me too. I split with exh over 4 years ago and since then have had some of the best sex ever 🤣. I have FWB’s and have dated several people but I’m in no rush to be in a relationship. I meet up with people when my dd’s are at school or when they go to their dads (for a few hours on a Sunday). I don’t have people stay over very often and tbh I don’t want too as I love having my bed to myself.

I haven’t had sex in years. I wouldn’t do fwb it’s not my thing.

I have FWB’s and have dated several people but I’m in no rush to be in a relationship

This is key for me. I’m not and never will be interested in a relationship.

FWB gives great sex with minimal risk.

I was chatting to a nice man and my two-year-old piped up asking if I was going to bring him home to sleep at our flat

😂

I'm not sure how my post to do with takeaways ended up on this thread very bizarre

I didn’t see it on here but saw it on my take away thread! 😬

breastfeedingworries thank you
I’m changing so much as I get older, there’s so many rules we’re expected to follow when we become mums and even more when we become single mums. I think we owe it to each other to be honest and share that it can work out to follow your carnal needs as well as being a parent. We don’t need to martyr ourselves to parenting unless we really want to. Focusing on the kids is all well and good and if that floats ya boat then fine. I know women who’ve sacrificed so much for their kids then are bereft when the kids get their own social life or partner or off to uni etc and the mums have no confidence and are suddenly lonely and too scared to put themselves out there. Some deny themselves love and sex whereas others are happy enough without it but it is all about choices!

Lovemusic33 I love my bed to myself too!

Not a single mum but, I am a single woman. I have been single for 3 years now. (going to start online dating soon)

I read erotica. There is a lot of free semi-decent stuff out there.

I met my DH on tinder. Neither of us was a single parent but just mentioning it because people really can find the right person online. I know loads of couples who met on apps or websites because they didn't have the free time to meet someone out and about.

Some deny themselves love and sex whereas others are happy enough without it but it is all about choices!

I think dragon is totally correct here.

I would just say if you start looking for a relationship, make sure it’s because you want one and not because you think you should have one.