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Original poster

to ask how single mums deal with lack of sex?

108 replies

thinpinkshades · 04/05/2019 18:54

Because I'm struggling. My son is 7 months old. I haven't had sex since I was 2 months pregnant and his dad left us. That's over a year.

I have needs...

How do you cope? My son takes up all my time so it's not like I have a chance to meet anyone...

OP posts:
FurrySlipperBoots · 04/05/2019 19:29

If you're looking for a relationship try online dating?

Original poster
thinpinkshades · 04/05/2019 19:29

@Missillusioned he's 7 months, teething and ebf. Just starting solids. Think I'm going to have to give up on the whole sex thing... ugh.

OP posts:
Missillusioned · 04/05/2019 19:32

thinpinkshades that is difficult, I agree. I'm impressed you even fancy sex at this point tbh

GoldenEvilHoor · 04/05/2019 19:32

This reply has been withdrawn

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youlladdressmeassir · 04/05/2019 19:34

I'm exactly the same Goldenevil. And it's not for the want of trying.

It's the physical contact I miss.

GrumpyOldMare · 04/05/2019 19:37

I've not had sex for 5 years. Can't say I miss it,to be honest. It's more of a relief not to bother any more. I love having my bed to myself without being worried that someone wants more than sleep!

John470322 · 04/05/2019 19:39

If you're looking for a relationship try online dating?
I split with my exW as she met someone new. I thought I'd try online dating and had some good dates and some good sex (and some not so good sex) I then met a lady for a date and 17 years later we have been married for 15 years and are happy together. Online dating can give sex or love.

DeftandGlory · 04/05/2019 19:41

Why would you not have physical contact again? That’s just ridiculous. There are loads of men floating about. Even if you don’t have sex until the kids are old enough to fend for themselves of a night (15?) you would surely only be 55ish at the most?
I have many friends at 55 starting new relationships.
It’s crap in your 40’s finding someone decent but there are lots of opportunities. I think it evens out in your 50’s somewhat.

its not for the want of trying is the worry. Desperate is not attractive at any age.

Pearpickinpenguin · 04/05/2019 19:42

I have ten year old twins. Honestly FWB cant happen. Masturbation IS your friend.

PookieDo · 04/05/2019 19:43

I don’t think about it as much, you do end up forgetting about it after some years Blush

GoldenEvilHoor · 04/05/2019 19:43

This reply has been withdrawn

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Blueberrybell · 04/05/2019 19:45

Antidepressants and a womanizer (crap name but wayyy better than any vibrator). And if that fails, I have a few friends with benefits I can call on Smile.

Can’t be bothered atm though - too fat and old!

femfemlicious · 04/05/2019 19:45

No sex for 4 years nowGrin. I just carry on. I've attempted to buy a dildo but It just seems seedy. I hate masturbation.

I just can't see myself having casual sex.

megletthesecond · 04/05/2019 19:46

What rory said.
Work, tiredness, stress and a non-sleeping younger child for 6 years means I don't even think about it.

PrtScn · 04/05/2019 19:49

I’ve not had sex since I was pregnant and my lo is 6 months old. I am not remotely interested in having sex. I wasn’t arsed before I got pregnant if I’m honest. DP hasn’t mentioned anything or tried to initiate it either, bless.

youlladdressmeassir · 04/05/2019 19:53

Actually Deft there aren't lots of men floating about.

I'm no longer desperate. After so long, I've switched off.

Nnnnnineteen · 04/05/2019 20:01

I don't want intimacy and cuddles so the random ONS is my preferred option. Couple have developed into fwb things, tho I get rid when they get needy.

MikeUniformMike · 04/05/2019 20:11

I found the missing a good hug worse than missing DTD.

Lovemusic33 · 04/05/2019 20:21

I use online dating apps but my kids are older. Will be harder with a baby as I’m guessing they are with you 24/7?

fairgame84 · 04/05/2019 20:26

The sex doesn't bother me, its the fact that I get in from work and there is nobody to talk to or hug. I miss the companionship.

janeybumtum · 04/05/2019 20:31

I was getting a bit down about this but I made a trip to Ann Summers and am feeling very cheerful since. I worry about safety and stds with hook ups and FWB and can't really face with dealing with the drama of a new relationship yet

cushioncovers · 04/05/2019 20:31

I haven't had sex for years. The other day it occurred to me that i will probably never be hugged again in my life and I burst into tears 

Yep me too. It's now 10 years since I've had any sex and about 15 years since I've had good sex.

feelingverylazytoday · 04/05/2019 20:37

Don't miss sex at all, and I always got hugs from my kids. My daughter will be moving out in a year or so, and then I will only get an ocassional hug. I do wonder sometimes how that will make me feel. I like being single but at the same time I get a bit wistful when I see elderly couples holding hands and sometimes wish my marriage had worked out.
Hope you meet someone nice, OP.

colouringinpro · 04/05/2019 20:38

With difficulty, but I miss the intimacy, hugs, closeness, just having someone to snuggle up with on the sofa more. Don't want to do the ONS stand thing though. Could really do with a FWB!

Girliefriendlikescake · 04/05/2019 20:39

I sometimes book myself in for a massage just for the physical contact (God that looks sad written down!)

If you get some free time internet dating can def work, I've 4 good friends who found their husbands online.

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