I want to go but he says no.. who ibu?

[Thunderwing]

Dh and I bought VIP tickets for a summer festival ages ago. I am pregnant again and will be 6.5months when we're meant to go.

DH now says we 'can't' go as it will be too much/too busy/too hot etc etc

I am determined to go, we have access to a vip area with flushing toilets and seating area if I get knackered and it's only one day (no overnight camping).

We paid a lot for the tickets because the headline act is our favourite band, I don't want to miss out because I'm pregnant! I feel like he's BU for not listening to me, this is our 3rd dc so I know what I can cope with at 6 months.

Should I listen to him and sell the tickets or put my foot down and insist we go anyway?

Well you know he is being ridiculous! Take somebody else

Tell him he can stay home, but you're going. He is being completely ridiculous. You're pregnant, not suffering from a terminal disease, fgs.

If it was overnight camping I would think you are mad but it is only one day!
He is being daft.

Tell him if he doesn't feel up to it he can stay home with the DC.

To be honest I found between about 5-7 months being the happiest time in both my pregnancies. Morning sickness done but wasn't at the feeling unable to move point / total exhaustion point.

Why not book into a hotel nearby for afterwards, make a night of it and enjoy some time together?

Go and take a friend if he doesn't want to go. You know your own body better than he does.

He’s being ridiculous. Take someone else if he doesn’t want to go.

He's being an idiot, YANBU.

That would make me so angry, if DH thought he had a better idea of the impact of being pregnant than I do. He is being ridiculous, but hopefully from a place of love and concern.

He might not be able to enjoy the festival (or relax if he did stay home) for worrying about the wellbeing of you and his unborn baby. Just because you've had babies before and know what you can handle doesn't mean he automatically feels confident that nothing could go wrong in that kind of environment. If you're planning to go anyway, I'd say at least have some chats and hear him out properly and give reassurance based on what his specific fears are, he deserves that at least.

It definitely is out of concern, my second pregnancy was difficult as I had HG and gestational diabetes but so far this pregnancy has been a bit better.

I think he's more worried about the crowds, me getting pushed around or getting hurt. The way I see it, I'll have a noticeable bump, I'll make sure i have a 'baby on board' type badge, and I'll steer clear of the mosh pit

Be assertive. Tell him that you fully intend to go, but if HE doesn't want to go then he can remain at home looking after the children and you will take a friend. Make it clear that he is not going to be allowed to dictate to you.

If the pregnancy stays clear of complications and you are feeling well then you will be fine. Obviously if anything changes then you will take stock again, but you will be the judge of it.

Tell him you’ll be going, if he doesn’t want to he can stay at home

Why is overnight camping an issue AgentPeggyCarter? It’s a night in a tent on a festival campground with facilities to hand not a military endurance course on survival rations in the middle of the Gobi desert.

OP tell your DH, fine, he stays home and you’ll go alone. In the absence of complications the average healthy pregnant women enjoying the average healthy pregnancy, especially her 3rd, does not generally need to be wrapped in cotton wool and sheltered from every passing breath of wind.

I did Glastonbury at 6 months gone. The worst part was really wanting a cold lager!

He doesn’t get to veto your trip!

Concerned or otherwise it’s your decision.

That would make me so angry, if DH thought he had a better idea of the impact of being pregnant than I do

Personally I think it’s possible he might with a third dc.

My youngest is 2. There were a couple of times in the pregnancy where dh said things along the line of ‘no way are you going to fancy that at 8 months pregnant’. Or ‘remember how...’ type comments. Based on what he remembered from my other pregnancies. I scoffed and carried on in my determination to act as normally as possible.

He was often right. He remembered how knackered I’d been and how I didn’t want to do xy or z or how people just irritated the fuck out of me by 8 months meaning big gatherings were wiser to avoid. Quite a few things actually.

Unless your dh is usually a controlling knobhead i’d assume he has the best intentions and talk to him.

This is completely your call!

Erm, I didn't say overnight camping was an issue SpeckofStardust, just that maybe it'd be nice to make a bit of an event of it as some quality child-free time before DC3 arrives.

If you read the OP there IS no camping.

Hang on. You had HG and gestational diabetes last pregnancy - when did that kick in last pregnancy? I can see why hes concerned

Just try to avoid crowd surfing and you should be fine.

I would imagine he's just worried about you and the baby and people potentially pushing/bumping into you etc and not just being an arse and trying to spoil your fun like some posters seem to jump to

I am wondering whether this is a festival I'm going to this summer - something about your post makes me think so...

If so - we had VIP tickets last year, and I was struck down by a terrible flu-y cold. Not the same as being pregnant at all, of course, but I was really unwell and feeling horrendous.

I parked myself in the VIP area for the most of the day and suffered in comfort.

In the evening tentatively ventured out of the VIP area as you couldn't see the headline from there (though could hear it) and it was fine. Loos were great etc. You can PM me if you want and if it's the same festival maybe that will reassure your husband somewhat?

Tell him you’re going. Non-negotiable. What’s he going to do, lock you in the house and bar the windows? And if he’s going to worry, then the simple answer is that he goes with you as originally planned. You can always leave early if you don’t feel well.