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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be deflated that boyfriend too tired to see me..

65 replies

Tolerianetreats · 04/05/2019 13:48

Last night but had time to be on line and interacting with his female friend till 2 this morning??? Havent seen him since tuesday and am
Due to meet him later tonight for a walk and supper. He’s not that interested in me
Is he. I am
Angry but wonder I am being unreasonable

OP posts:
SneakyGremlins · 04/05/2019 13:50

But he can be on his phone in bed, doesn't mean he's not too tired to actually go out and meet up. Was he messaging you too?

DisplayPurposesOnly · 04/05/2019 13:50

Is it a one-off or a pattern?

I don't think you should have to fight for anyone's attention (partners or friends). If they aren't seeking you out, looking for ways to spend time with you, then step back.

OldAndWornOut · 04/05/2019 13:55

It's a very uncomfortable feeling, because it feels like you shouldn't notice what he was doing online, but you do, of course.

Original poster
Tolerianetreats · 04/05/2019 13:55

No this is a regular tho g . Plenty of excuses dressed up as reasons not to spend our free time together . He wasn’t texting me too much no . I’m
Kind of sick of his Interactions with her tbh. None with me on line .. does t like it allegedly !!!

OP posts:
OldAndWornOut · 04/05/2019 13:58

My ex always seemed to have issues like this surrounding him.
I'm still not sure to this day whether they were my issues or his, but there was always this little inkling of doubt that everything was above board.

JuniFora · 04/05/2019 14:10

He's not that into you, he's using you when he wants you, it's one way and he has no interest in meeting you much of the time.

Don't let him use you anymore and don't explain why you don't want to see him again because he'll turn it on you. No contact until he texts you first, reply with "you're not what I'm looking for , best of luck" and block. Don't feed into any drama, just get rid.

NoBaggyPants · 04/05/2019 14:12

How do you know he's online?

Original poster
Tolerianetreats · 04/05/2019 14:20

We’re together nearly a year!
I see his on line status as on in WhatsApp and I see the written interactions they have on fb/ Twitter/ ig

OP posts:
Original poster
Tolerianetreats · 04/05/2019 14:39

I know that sounds stalking but should he not want to see me having being away from Tuesday until last night . We are together nearly twelve months and we live about half hour from eachother but we both travel for work so I get that he is tired but seriously!! He wasnt tired to be up till two am on line. Is there any case to be made for him here? Am so fucked off but he already thinks I’m a bit demanding

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Chloemol · 04/05/2019 14:43

I think you know the answer, time to let him go

ilovesooty · 04/05/2019 14:51

If you're staying up till 2am watching his online interactions and you have different expectations of the relationship it would seem you're not compatible.

Purplehammer · 04/05/2019 14:51

It’s attraction when you want to be together.
It’s love when you can’t bear being apart.

NameChangeNugget · 04/05/2019 14:55

I think you’re being a bit hard on him but, don’t expect him to change.

If it isn’t right for you, end it

Cottonwoolmouth · 04/05/2019 15:00

It not stupid. You know the score here.

Original poster
Tolerianetreats · 04/05/2019 15:11

I have been accused of being black and white so as I see it he could have been with me but instead chose to stay at home on his own interacting with friend. Is that even a friendship? He’s always talking about this girl and five hours over and back contact seems very excessive to me . Maybe I’m
Being jealous and possessive here

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Lllot5 · 04/05/2019 15:14

Get rid he’s supposed to want to see you and be with you.

Lou780 · 04/05/2019 15:21

If he was in love with you he would be doing anything to see you.

RagingWhoreBag · 04/05/2019 15:25

No this is a regular tho g . Plenty of excuses dressed up as reasons not to spend our free time together . He wasn’t texting me too much no . I’m
Kind of sick of his Interactions with her tbh. None with me on line .. does t like it allegedly !!!

He’s just not that into you. If he was, he’d make time for you. End of. Ditch him and let her have him.

Afrikan · 04/05/2019 15:58

I think he's your boyfriend but you aren't his girlfriend. If you can, move on

Singlenotsingle · 04/05/2019 16:00

Finish it. LTB. If he's "too tired" it really means he's not interested.

Greatbigterribleshart · 04/05/2019 16:05

He's showing you his true colours, believe him!

If he were really too tired he'd have fallen asleep long before 2am. You don't trust him and have these nigling feelings even a year into your relationship with him. Don't keep making the same mistake just because you've spent a lot of time and effort making it.
You can find better and you will find better.

MacrosomicMumma · 04/05/2019 16:14

I can see from your replies that you don't want to hear what most of us are saying, but, he's no longer that into you. The odd day of being tired and needing time alone is normal, this isn't. Time to move on lovely.

Miniloso · 04/05/2019 16:45

No way could I cope with that. My boyfriend can’t wait to see me. If I saw him online till 2am with another woman I’d dump him in a nanosecond.

Original poster
Tolerianetreats · 04/05/2019 21:29

I don’t know what going on! I met him . He is full of love. Then he announces that he wants to go home as he hasn’t seen his folks ina couple of weeks ! So he’s gone home ! This is bullshit right?

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werideatdawn · 04/05/2019 21:32

Seems like a lot of hassle for little reward. Get rid.