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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be deflated that boyfriend too tired to see me..

65 replies

Tolerianetreats · 04/05/2019 13:48

Last night but had time to be on line and interacting with his female friend till 2 this morning??? Havent seen him since tuesday and am
Due to meet him later tonight for a walk and supper. He’s not that interested in me
Is he. I am
Angry but wonder I am being unreasonable

OP posts:
JuniFora · 04/05/2019 21:35

So you met him, he was "full of love" and then suddenly left... Do you mean he had sex with you ? Then left when he got what he wanted.

He's making it very clear he's not interested in spending time with you or having a relationship.

Honeyroar · 04/05/2019 21:35

Yes. It's not good enough is it? You know it. He wasn't full of love, that was fake, pointless, just designed to keep you dangling. Personally I'd tell him you've had enough and it's not working.

Original poster
Tolerianetreats · 04/05/2019 21:36

No sex . Just a walk and a talk and a coffee

OP posts:
Original poster
Tolerianetreats · 04/05/2019 21:36

Fuck it. I’ve got to be worth more than this!

OP posts:
Madamedeluxe · 04/05/2019 21:40

If he was into you he would be spending all Saturday night with you not making excuses to leave.

Original poster
Tolerianetreats · 04/05/2019 21:41

Yes and all Saturday and all Friday night. He wouldn’t be spending it on line with his friend ... female .. would he???

OP posts:
Original poster
Tolerianetreats · 04/05/2019 21:43

Full of promises for tomorrow but nothing concrete .we are staying minutes away from eachother

OP posts:
Original poster
Tolerianetreats · 04/05/2019 21:44

After a year!! I’m
Hardly being unreasonable am I?

OP posts:
Original poster
Tolerianetreats · 04/05/2019 22:38

Anyone?

OP posts:
ShahOfSplosh · 04/05/2019 22:41

Nope, yanbu, get rid.
Freedom awaits!

TanyaChix · 04/05/2019 22:43

If he’s regularly finding excuses not to spend time with her and is choosing to spend more time chatting to her online then it doesn’t say much for his enthusiasm. It’s just taking you for granted and assuming you’ll fit in as and when it suits him. If it makes you feel crap then you need to talk to him.

TanyaChix · 04/05/2019 22:44

Based on what you’ve said, I’d dump him if it were me btw. Life’s too short to mope after people who aren’t equally keen.

Original poster
Tolerianetreats · 04/05/2019 22:46

Thank you . He spends so much time with he my. Works with her. Never stops talking about her . Always in contact with her . Till now i thought that because she was older and had a family that it was innocent but now I’m not so sure????

OP posts:
Original poster
Tolerianetreats · 04/05/2019 22:48

I do fit in with his plans as If dont wouldnt see him!

OP posts:
Floralhousecoat · 04/05/2019 22:48

Stop punishing yourself op. You'll feel so empowered when you dump him. Take the power back. Dump him. That should dent his pride. If you don't dump him now, he will tire of you pretty soon and dump you. Don't give him the satisfaction.

You can do this.

Original poster
Tolerianetreats · 04/05/2019 22:53

Thanks. I know this is bullshit in my heart .but yet when we are together he reels me right back in . I’m
So angry with
Myself

OP posts:
Original poster
Tolerianetreats · 04/05/2019 22:54

Is he interested in her or r am
I going crazy

OP posts:
Whatisgoingonwithmylife · 04/05/2019 22:58

I was where you are OP! I walked away - 11 weeks of no contact this week and it’s easier every day! I’ve made a list of all the times he hurt me/ let me down and when I start missing him, I read it and remind myself why it’s over! Best decision I’ve ever made! Send a lovely end message, don’t be mean, wait to see his response.. ignore it and block him. That final message from him, asking me not to walk away was all the closure I needed. I don’t even want to talk to him now! You’ll get there Flowers

Floralhousecoat · 04/05/2019 22:59

He's throwing you just enough crumbs to keep you reeled in. The less he gives the more you'll want. Dump him first before he dumps you. Just text him a curt message like 'you're dumped mate. You're not worth my time'. He doesn't deserve 'it's not working for me, best wishes' etc. Just 'you're dumped, you selfish immature twat'.
Then block.
Please do it and put yourself out of this misery.

Original poster
Tolerianetreats · 04/05/2019 23:02

Is it really that bad ???

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 04/05/2019 23:03

I agree - put yourself out of your misery and dump him. He's not into you and tbh you deserve much, much more than this.

Original poster
Tolerianetreats · 04/05/2019 23:04

I see him a couple of times per week. I want more but only because I’ve always had relationships where we moved steadily . This though.... ??

OP posts:
pineapplepatty · 04/05/2019 23:18

Dump him first

Original poster
Tolerianetreats · 04/05/2019 23:20

Dyou think he will dump me first? I am so mad I need to get on there first

OP posts:
Whatisgoingonwithmylife · 04/05/2019 23:23

This helped me make my decision OP Flowers

To be deflated that boyfriend too tired to see me..