Moaning about being ‘poor’ when rich

[freetone]

AIBU to think if you are childless, go on 3 holidays abroad per year and live in a 4 bed detached house on a private road then you don’t have the right to moan about being ‘poor’? My DF and his wife have been like this recently. He earns over £150k a year. It shows how far away from reality they are imo. Really gets on my nerves when there are millions of people genuinely struggling. Anyone else experienced people like my Father?

100k goes nowhere in the south.

What a pile of shite and fucking insulting to people living on a fraction of that.

I have to laugh at people saying "it's all relative". It's completely objective. It can be quantified in a number and compared on a graph.
If you earn 100k then you among the richest in the country which also makes you among the richest in the world; and gives you a lifestyle of comfort almost unprecedented in the history of humanity.
We're on around £25,000 as a family of 4, but with very low housing costs. I'm sometimes guilty of saying "I'm skint" when I mean "I might have to draw on my savings" or "I'm in my overdraft". I realise it's a figure of speech though. I'm not really poor.

Also, all this about not being able to buy a home in London on a £100k salary is nonsense. You won’t be able to buy in central London or, depending on the size home you’re looking for, in some of the nicest areas. But you’ll certainly be able to buy in a less central and less desirable area.

Let’s be honest, what people mean when they say £100k isn’t enough to buy is that it isn’t enough to buy the type of home they want in the area they prefer.

If you work at Bart’s and start shifts at stupid o clock four days out of seven a zone one home isn’t a choice, it’s a necessity.

So.. how do the cleaners get to work, do you suppose?

f you work at Bart’s and start shifts at stupid o clock four days out of seven a zone one home isn’t a choice, it’s a necessity. Unless you’re volunteering for an hour’s journey home after an average 13 hour shift? No? Thought not

Most London hospitals have staff accommodations which is central and cheap. My cousin was a dr at tommy’s and i think her rent for a shared flat was £320/month.

If you relocate you will be offered accommodation.

YABU

I was paying £380 pcm in shared hospital accommodation in 1997.

Just checked what it is now and it’s a lot more ,plus there is a waiting list for staff accommodation.

I haven’t spotted this on the thread it’s the institute of fiscal studies survey tool, it gives you a place as to how your income fits in with the rest of the country. It doesn’t ask about all expenditure.

www.ifs.org.uk/tools_and_resources/where_do_you_fit_in]]

I have never been in top 1% but we had quite a few years in top 5% .It gives you lots of choices and to pretend that earning 100k isn’t much makes you so small minded I wonder how those people who bemoan that fact have managed to get in to the 100k bracket. It belittles the struggles of those who are genuinely poor.

April 2018)
Room type
UCLH Staff
Standard Room
£650.10
B-Scale Room
£757.88
En-suite Room
From £980.50
Short stay
£853.84

I’m disabled and can’t work. As a result I have to live on benefits. However, now I’ve Finally managed to pay my credit card off we can afford food and I feel Rich! It’s all relative. My mother on the other hand, tells people how poor she is constantly. They own their house outright and have more coming in with pensions than both their old wages! It’s very irritating!

I could have written this exact post.

It's so bloody annoying. Once my mum actually described her income as a "pittance". I told her. ''I DREAM of a pittance"

My stepdad (who was not in my life as a child, my mum met and married him after she retired, we lived on tins of beans and rice when I was growing up!) once complained to my entire extended family at Christmas dinner how truly awful the taxes are when you make £250,000 a year. People nearly choked on their Christmas pudding. They do not live in reality.

Haven't RTFT but agree with some...If you have food in the cupboard, that alone makes you richer than many.

Mine is I've food in the cupboard, roof over my head, money in the bank = I am rich

We are all guilty of complaining to some extent tho

I try to remember this photo

I too am getting sick of "oh but X (huge amount of money) doesn't go far in London.

I've lived in London, I've still got friends who live there who are on low wages.

Other parts of the U.K. Inc other cities are also expensive to live in but also contain people living in them that are on low wages/benefits.

it's complete bollocks!

After seeing a thread on here I watched a couple episodes of "rich house poor house" very uncomfortable viewing as I don't think it's ethical to give poor children a taste of a better life then snatch it away again.

But I do think it would be a good idea to make certain wealthy people live/experience a "poor life" for a period of time.

I've said it before plenty but I think it warrants saying again - I'm particularly thinking of mp's. Personally I'd make anyone wanting to be an MP live in social housing on minimum benefits for at least 6 months before they could even apply to become one.

I've responded genuinely wanting to help certain posters on here who've started threads pleading poverty...only for it to become apparent that they're not poor they're financially irresponsible idiots!! Have a decent income but wasting money on not just luxuries but complete nonsense! That's infuriating. Especially as they tend also to reject all reasonable suggestions like switching utilities providers or mobile phone companies or not getting the latest phone as soon as it's released. Some right numpties about!

"It depends entirely on specific circumstances, location, size of family (and their specific needs), cost of living etc" all of which are CHOICES so it's not really that relative at all.

"There's always been "wealth apologists" on mumsnet but just lately they've been out in force" it goes hand in hand with the huge increase in the acceptability of "poor bashing" in my opinion.

"What some of those people who say it is don't seem to realise, no matter how often it is explained to them, is that the people on 20k have exactly the same problems with health and family responsibilities and travel." Exactly!

"People who keep insisting "it's relative" are usually those who are oblivious to or uncomfortable with the idea of how exceedingly fortunate they are." Totally agree.

Snog - excellent links

While I'm well aware that compared to poverty in developing countries the poor in this country are a little better off, the costs of living (and I mean basic necessities - food, shelter, clothes) are far higher here.

I'm currently a disabled, mentally ill, single parent (though dd recently turned 18) on benefits, my current income is yet I've been even worse off in the past (mainly when cm was still included in benefits calculations and so if ex didn't pay I was seriously stuck) to the point of regularly missing meals, going without essential clothing, so dd didn't go without, going to the library because I couldn't afford heating, using sofa pennies to get a loaf of bread etc. I've been homeless and had sleepless nights wondering how on earth I'm going to pay for X essential bill.

My current income is just over £1k a month but I'm on legacy benefits and absolutely dreading the changes, I've been advised to avoid this for as long as possible as they're particularly difficult to claim if sick/disabled. That's roughly 1/5 of the income being bandied about on this thread as "not rich" so - genuine question to those claiming this - how do you feel about people with 5 X more income than you? Especially if they were to try and make out they were worse off than you?

Nah! Even £50k a year is far outside the realms of reality for me and millions of others, so if you have that kind of income and you dare to try and plead poverty you're being insensitive, crass and ignorant. Acknowledge your privilege and live within your means and don't bitch about your income to people worse off than you.

I have friends and family that vary from crazy wealthy (talking landed gentry in one case) to on bones of their arse. Most people have at least a few in their circle that are worse off than them.

I was raised its bad manners to bemoan your lot in front of those worse off than you.

Sorry my current income is £1k that should say.

fancy Household income is different from individual saalry.

ex friend, single mother (by choice, used a sperm donor), moaned frequently about how she struggled to afford things. Felt very sorry for her for a long time, helped her and her DS out a lot. Then discovered she lived rent and bill free in a massive house she designed and daddy built for her. Also then discovered she has a private income and chooses not to work because ‘other people need the money more than she does’. No fucking idea.
As a child, my family was poor. My parents scrimped for everything. I worked hard and got lucky. I’ve been ‘poor’ at times (jobless, minimum wage), but mainly comfortably off. As an adult, I’ve never been worried about how I’m going to pay for rent, food, utilities. My ‘poor’ meant cutting out new clothes, eating out, etc, I was never really poor. When lots of people say they are poor, they don’t mean it. They have no fucking clue, and many don’t even have the self-awareness to realise it.

Yup drives me mad.

My aunt and uncle are like this. She never had to work once they had dc and he was in banking so was quite savvy. Now retired and can do what they want and she still moans about having no money!

Yanbu.

One of my friends does this all the time and I'm becoming so irritated by it I might just quietly Wendy her.

Their house is worth £1 million at least.

They have recently spent £70,000+ I don't know what exactly on a loft conversion.

Since Christmas they have had their entire ground floor decked out in engineered wood floorboards .

Was out for lunch with her yesterday and she was droning on and on about how broke they are. I did have to say "but at least you've got a lovely new loft".

Thick people are clueless.

Household income is different from individual salary Well i know that hence why all of my posts have referred to a household income of 100k

I asked you to clarify the below

Is a household income of 100k in the top 4%?

You replied Yes. 🤷‍♀️

What OP describes sounds insensitive. But there's always a degree of interpretation with this stuff... I am comfortably off, but have friends on lower incomes who will try and push unwelcome recommendations for things on me (pricey holiday resorts, premium brand cars on finance plans, expensive beauty treatments in particular). If I dare to respond that I consider those "expensive" (e.g, I personally don't consider it good value/a good use of money) i get scoffing/disgusted replies of " don't moan you're poor! You can afford it." At no point do I "moan I'm poor" .

Live in leafy London suburb and "only" have household income of £50,000 with both me and DH working F/T. 2DC and if I'd say we are comfortable-ish but we are very sensible.

It's not relative in this example.

I grew up poor, I mean really poor below the breadline. It drove me to work hard and exceed my ambitions. It's hard to shake the mindset of poverty though. I panick if the food cupboards are empty or if the kids clothes are too scruffy or dirty. I guess I have a high shame/fear trigger for how I grew up. It has helped not get into debt though and we have a solid investment portfolio, but I often felt "poor". I then started practising gratitude on a daily basis and now try and look at what we have rather than what we don't. What I'm trying to say is having seen it from both sides, poverty can be a mindset.

Apologies I meant £100k salary is in the top 4% of wages.

I have a friend like this, married to a GP, no mortgage, kids adults, constantly tells me how they can't afford x y and z

I think folk just lose touch with reality when they have had thousands coming in every month for years...