To be upset after comment from friend?

[SlowStarters]

For context, I used to be very overweight and unfit, mostly due to MH issues. I lost 38 kilos, and I've kept it off for 6 years now. I discovered I loved hiking and enjoy 10-15k hikes around the Brecon Beacons, for example.

I'm not a 'natural' sportsperson in any way. I'm very short, big bust, mild asthma, but I'm proud of my achievement and want to improve my fitness more so I recently started running. My legs are strong from the hikes but I am slow.

And I say running. Well. More sweaty, breathy jogging, really.

I ran jogged my first full non-stop 5k distance yesterday. I felt elated! I met a friend for coffee this afternoon and told her I'd managed my first 5k in 39 minutes and I was hoping next time I'd knock a minute or two off the time.

She actually scoffed and said she could walk 5k quicker than that. Then she changed the subject.

I can't believe I felt, and still feel, utterly deflated. I know it's really slow and an average time is 25-30 mins but is 39 mins embarrassingly awful?

I feel like throwing my running trainers away.

@TowandaForever Thank you. I came to realise slowly that it wasn't true, but as a student who was very unsure of my own abilities I took it hard. OPs post really reminded me of it.

@Sleepyhead11 what an awful thing to think, let alone for someone to say to you. That's a huge achievement, and we should both recognise jealousy when we see it. I hope you feel every inch of pride that you should do about winning now x

@MrsRyanGosling15

We definitely shouldn't let our own doubts win and stop us persevering - and for what it's worth, I can't do a sit up either! (genuinely must be missing those muscles )

Honestly, if I can manage to huff, puff and sweat my way to moving my legs for 39 minutes, absolutely anyone can. I am the polar opposite of athletic!

Well done you. I'd be delighted to be able to do 5k in 39 minutes. Your friend is being an arse!

FMD you didn’t just ‘lose weight’ you got HOT! It’s no wonder she’s as jealous as fuck!

I have read all of your posts, but not all of the replies, has anyone mentioned (they probably have) that you WERE her ‘Fat Friend’ the one who she could feel superior to, the one who made her feel SO much better about herself. Now you have (unintentionally) made her the ‘Less Attractive Friend’ and she clearly Does Not Like it. She’s trying to derail you in every way.

Swapping fries for a salad isn’t fussy.

RUNNING (jogging 🤷🏻‍♀️) for 39 minutes, is FABULOUS, running 5km in that time is bloody good. I can barely run for the bus! Seriously. I walk (I did hike but I’m having issues with my bloody knees). I’m fit enough, but I cannot run. I’d like to see how far she can run.

Even if you’d ‘only’ run a mile and it had taken you 20 minutes, a TRUE friend would tell you how great it was, because for YOU, whatever new thing you have achieved IS fabulous.

She’s a bitch. You might not have loads of friends, but you’ll still be better off ditching this one. No need to say anything, just be too busy to meet up.

Now you’ve had your eyes opened a bit and remembered other comments, you’ll remember even more and if you do meet up with her you’ll notice her horrible attitude.

I wish you lived near me, I’d love to be your friend.

Maybe try an MN meet up, I’ve made some really good friends through MN.

Don’t let ANYONE make you feel like that again. You sound lovely, you look hot and I’m sure you haven’t stopped being bubbly! 🌷

I am saying the same as others I know, but I walk and regularly walk 5k with my 6 foot long legged friend so have to stride out fast to keep up. No way you can walk 5k in that time. Well done on the running and the weight loss and keep it up, don't let this person bring you down, you should be proud.

Insensitive friend! Well done OP, sounds like you're at the top of your game and enjoying life. :-)

@SlowStarters thank you, I do recognise it now but at the time it was so different. I hope that you can recognise how amazing your achievement is as well xx

I think the average is 4km/hour so she's not walk it in 40 mins.

I could not run 5k. When my son’s charity has a 5k run I walk it. You are awesome. Your friend is a jealous idiot. Well done you. Drop the poisonous old trout and congratulations on everything you have achieved so far.

You did this for you not anyone else and it’s a wonderful achievement. Keep doing it for you and ignore your ‘friend’. You don’t need them in your life if that’s how they behave towards you and if they ask why, tell themZ. Keep it up, you’re doing amazingly.

OP, first of all you look amazing and well done on your fitness achievements 🎉

Also,

Even though technically I weigh less, it didn't automatically make me feel better about myself. It really is about how you feel about yourself

reminded me of this picture.

She's no friend. She's company, and I promise you that you'd be better without company than around that kind. There are no redeeming features when it comes to people who actively make you feel bad about yourself.

You're a wonderful, inspirational person and are bettering yourself all the time. So few people can say that. YANBU to be upset, but it would be unreasonable to let yourself think her comments are in any way a reflection on you; it's all her.

She ain’t no friend. Ghost the bitch.

And a massive well done 👍🏽

Oh my gosh, you have done so incredibly well. Her comment simply shows that she hasn't got a clue. She may be jealous at how successful you've been and how much progress you've made, and it's just manifesting itself in a poorly executed comment.

Don't let this take away from a the hard work you've done and the amazing things you have achieved. I'm guessing she doesn't run.

Message the so-called friend to tell her how rude, unsupportive and nasty she has been. In a polite way! Then block her number, pick up your trainers and do your running with pride. You have achieved so much. Do not let someone so horrible and vile ever affect yourself. I got out of breath running up steps to train the other day, so I’m fabulously impressed by your time at 5k.

@RandomAmanda that's exactly it.

I made more progress with my self esteem in 3 months of CBT than in years of being a bit slimmer - oh how the media lies!

So ironically... My friend has text to ask if I want to meet next Saturday morning for coffee. I've happily text back saying really sorry but I'm busy doing my first 5k Parkrun.

She didn't reply!

Ouch! Insecure much 'friend'? That's a horrible thing for her to say. Well done on achieving that, please do not let anyone take it away from you. If you get any similar comments from said friend in future, please stand up for yourself, or at the very least put paid to that friendship. That's not what friends are for.

You're ace, OP! Well done, I'm so pleased you're going to carry on running. Your friend sounds jealous and insecure.

OP, I'm glad I read your thread. Well done, fabulous achievement to lose the weight and then run as you have.

I also have to lose 6-7 stone. I'm super unfit, may have developed asthma and can't run. But I'm going to get started. Firstly to get medically checked out, lose weight and walk then run.

I tried C25K about 6 years ago, when I was still with the ex. I can now see he sabotaged that. I'd been a poor runner, even at school (being much better at things like shotputt, discus, javelin, etc) but I did manage to get to week 2 of C25K before my knees caused problems.

So, now I've ditched the ex, I'll lose weight and get knee straps and give parkrun a go. Thanks, OP, you've given this 50 year old some inspiration.

PS, My ex, while being slim, couldn run to save his life.

Well done slow start even as per the cartoon above the weight loss is never a bad thing for many medical reasons alone, and your friend is? she really a friend? or is she just jealous of what you HAVE achived;?

Go tell her to go walk her 5k off a cliff..

Sorry - haven't RTFT.
Well done on your achievement.
Don't throw your trainers away - throw your 'friend' away.

Don’t you dare throw your running trainers away! You are doing amazingly! Who cares if 39 minutes is slow (I don’t actually think it is though!) you can and did run 5k! Wish I had some of your motivation!!! Sounds like your friend is jealous and is making herself feel better by underplaying your achievements. I feel sorry for people like that.

This is absolutely totally 100% sour grapes
she doesn't like the idea of you improving yourself because it puts her in a bad light
What a fucking bitch