To be upset after comment from friend?

[SlowStarters]

For context, I used to be very overweight and unfit, mostly due to MH issues. I lost 38 kilos, and I've kept it off for 6 years now. I discovered I loved hiking and enjoy 10-15k hikes around the Brecon Beacons, for example.

I'm not a 'natural' sportsperson in any way. I'm very short, big bust, mild asthma, but I'm proud of my achievement and want to improve my fitness more so I recently started running. My legs are strong from the hikes but I am slow.

And I say running. Well. More sweaty, breathy jogging, really.

I ran jogged my first full non-stop 5k distance yesterday. I felt elated! I met a friend for coffee this afternoon and told her I'd managed my first 5k in 39 minutes and I was hoping next time I'd knock a minute or two off the time.

She actually scoffed and said she could walk 5k quicker than that. Then she changed the subject.

I can't believe I felt, and still feel, utterly deflated. I know it's really slow and an average time is 25-30 mins but is 39 mins embarrassingly awful?

I feel like throwing my running trainers away.

OP your friend is a cockwomble and you are amazing. I’m also short, heavier than I should be and have asthma and you’ve inspired me to start C25K again so thank you!

And forgot to say well done you! Can you please send some of your motivation to me! I cant even run up the stairs without getting a stitch!

I'm a lot older now but I still remember the thrill of finishing my first 5k run in my thirties, and only slightly deflated to realise that most people, including a lady in her seventies, were faster!

Be very proud of what you've achieved, and I hope you get to know people who'll be pleased for you and not put you down.
This woman doesn't merit your friendship.

Well I do my 5k in about 41 minutes at the moment, so you're beating me!

Haven't read the whole thread, but you sound amazing to have overcome so much, and 5 k in 39 minutes is great. Don't let anyone put you down like that.

I still remember winning an academic prize at University after recovering from mental illness and meeting a girl I knew on the way to the collection ceremony. She congratulated me, then said she had entered as she was sure she would have won but felt sorry for me, so let me have it. Looking back I know it was bitchiness and jealousy, but it really wrecked the event for me.

Please please please don't let this comment derail you (I forgot to add this earlier, but I know how tough it is when you are vulnerable, and how fragile that hard won success can be, so please please keep on going.)

Your "friend" is 100% jealous.

Well done. I can't jog 5k and if I could, I'd be more than happy to do it in that time.

Btw, can your "friend" actually jog that distance? Why not invite her along next time 😉 😉

Congratulations. You have done so well. Don’t let anyone undermine your achievement. It takes determination and graft to do it. Keep at it and enjoy the results.

Well done OP - my first (and only) 5k time was also 39 mins!

Keep going!

I'm still running a year later, and although I haven't done another park run since, I love the way it makes me feel.

*hadn't (typed had entered in earlier post, sorry.)

She's a jealous cow. One of the great part about the running community is that the super fit runners will still be cheering on those finishing last. It doesn't matter how quick you're doing it, the greatest achievement is actually getting up and starting doing it then determination & motivation to keep at it, it takes guts! Well done OP, ignore your 'friend'

Is your friend usually nicer?

I've known her for years, she used to say I looked great (when I was heavier) and she said my character suited my weight because I was bubbly and fun. We'd go clubbing in our single days in our 20s and she'd get lots of attention.

I always thought she was supportive with nice comments like being bubbly.

When I decided to lose weight, I kept it to myself and didn't say anything as I assumed I'd fail and pile the pounds back on. I've never bought it up (didn't want to be that person) and it's only just occured to me that she's not mentioned it.

I look quite different I think (I'll always see the flaws, like saggy skin) but...yeah. She's never said anything. Not that I expect it! I'll attach a before/after...though my before isn't me at my biggest .

Although I'm really proud, I feel very insecure about my fitness. I used to get out of breath just getting out the car, so running now feels like I must stick out like a sore thumb. I worry people are laughing at me.

Even though technically I weigh less, it didn't automatically make me feel better about myself. It really is about how you feel about yourself.

One word, jealous! As a runner myself I've had all the comments over the years,
I'm sad for running in winter
I could walk it quicker than that.
People die of heart attacks running marathons.
Walking is much better for you.

I never quite get it as anyone can run if they want (health depending) but I've learnt over the years to ignore the negative comments as it really does just stem from their own insecurities and jealousy.

Ignore! Running is fab and 39 mins for your first 5 k is fab too. Well done!

I was 15 stone when I started running I'm now 11 and have maintained that for 9 years. Do your local parkrun you'll find everyones friendly and encouraging there.

Agree with the more recent comments too - your 'friend' feels threatened because you've made positive changes in your life and she feels left behind!

It is a sad fact that some people who secretly lack self-confidence like to hang out with people who they think are less attractive than themselves, but that's just plain nasty and it doesn't make her a friend in the true sense of the word.

I am delighted to read this thread - please ignore your friend and listen to us instead! 5k non stop at any time is a huge achievement, you should be so proud.

I was also a West Midlands parkrunner, but am now living further away. Please go next week, then report back

That’s about my average time when I do Parkrun - I am near the end of the crowd but not the last, nor the slowest in my age group. And those are only the people motivated enough to go out and run - many people can hardly walk to the end of the street. Ignore your friends meanness and be proud of your fitness!

@Sleepyhead11

What an awful thing to say to you. What utter untrue rubbish!

So basically she's saying fat people suit being fun and slim people don't? BTW I hate the word bubbly, who on earth wants to be bubbly?

Oh dear
She doesn't like the fact you're not the Fat Friend anymore.

Take no notice. You know how much you've achieved. She's a bitch

Your time is great. Dont let anyone put you off.

My 1st ever non stop jogging took me 45 mins to do 5km.....but i did go from being the person who wouldnt even run for a bus (id rather wait in the rain for the next one!) To just 5 mins then 10 mins non stop etc.

I was really pleased with 45 mins. Currently working on improving that ready to work on 10km!

@Fishfingersandwichplease I can't believe you were subject to that, what an arsehole. I hope it didn't deter you??

@swampytiggaa that photo is so inspiring! Thank you for posting it - like a PP has said, even if it's a slow finish, it's better than being on the sofa.

OP I'm 5ft tall and a size 6. I'm just a tiny person all over. I can't do a single sit up, can't even make it to 10 star jumps. I tried couch to 5k and it took me 2 months to make it to week 3 and then I gave up.like o always do ask in so unmotivated and lazy. I dont know what it was about reading your posts, but im going to start couch to 5k again. You have really inspired me. It shouldn't matter what size you are or the time it takes. It's the point that you did it, when so many people don't. There is a really overweight man that runs by my house same time everyday. He is so slow and a few times I've genuinely worried he was going to pass out. Yet he never stops, and always shows up. We always smile and wave. He would probably look at me and think I would be far fitter than him when really I would love to have his motivation. I think he's awesome. Cut that friend off. She's no good.

She is most definitely not your friend, ditch her not the running shoes. Well done op! 🥇

Maybe your friend will attend the next one with you and see if her walk is faster than your run 😂 I very much doubt it! Amazing achievement - you should be really proud!