To be upset after comment from friend?

[SlowStarters]

For context, I used to be very overweight and unfit, mostly due to MH issues. I lost 38 kilos, and I've kept it off for 6 years now. I discovered I loved hiking and enjoy 10-15k hikes around the Brecon Beacons, for example.

I'm not a 'natural' sportsperson in any way. I'm very short, big bust, mild asthma, but I'm proud of my achievement and want to improve my fitness more so I recently started running. My legs are strong from the hikes but I am slow.

And I say running. Well. More sweaty, breathy jogging, really.

I ran jogged my first full non-stop 5k distance yesterday. I felt elated! I met a friend for coffee this afternoon and told her I'd managed my first 5k in 39 minutes and I was hoping next time I'd knock a minute or two off the time.

She actually scoffed and said she could walk 5k quicker than that. Then she changed the subject.

I can't believe I felt, and still feel, utterly deflated. I know it's really slow and an average time is 25-30 mins but is 39 mins embarrassingly awful?

I feel like throwing my running trainers away.

OP please make sure you come back next week and tell us all about parkrun! Honestly I’ll say it again it has changed my life. I’ve gone from a none runner to a half marathon runner 😁 and from a relatively shy person to a gobby Run Director 🙂 and I love every minute of it 🙂

I went out for a run with my 2 best running buddies this morning as our parkrun was cancelled and we have a 10k next Sunday 🙂 it was lovely just getting out and chatting and having a laugh then going for a coffee afterwards. I’ve made the best friends through running 💕

She was being a bitch and who cares what her speed is ... you did brilliantly and you should do it again 👍👍👍👍

Ask her to come out with you on your next 5k, that'll soon shut her up.

From reading back more it sounds like her little comments are trying to sabotage your weight loss.

Don't ever worry about comparing yourself to others, just look how far you've come!

Just so you know, this thread has inspired me to take DS2 to junior parkrun for the first time ever tomorrow morning! I've been out of action with an injury for some months so will be interesting to see how I go. Thank you for the prod OP

If she was a great friend she would ask to come & support you (seeing as its so local) & then take you for cake afterwards to celebrate. That's what I would do!
Also I took up
The C25k for my MH rather than the weight loss. I had a bit of a breakdown. Like you I started in secret but people eventually found out.
Some weight loss has occurred from running but better than that it has been massive for my self esteem, a great stress buster. I feel "brave" again, I have a purpose 3 days a week, I've seen parts of my local area I didn't know existed & I have some new (& hugely supportive) friends.
Seriously, keep going & everything will begin to slot into place.
You have achieved so much. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Do your own thing & maybe your "friend" will realise the error of her ways.
Please tell us how you get on with Parkrun next week. I'm rooting for you. I'm doing my third the following Saturday.

Well done you that's amazing I wish I had the guts to even try an run a race, don't you let your friends ignorance an down right out of order comment put you down, hold your head high be proud an sign yourself up for the next race!! Goodluck

@slowstarters well done on your achievements. Your friend sounds horrible. I've been running for over a decade and I am not fast...I think my 5k time is probably about 34 minutes or maybe a bit more. But a 5k is a 5k regardless of how quickly you run. A mile ran in 12 minutes, or 13 minutes, or 15 minutes, is still a mile, no shorter or less worthy than a mile run in 4 minutes. You're a runner if you run. Speed is irrelevant. So please don't hang up your trainers. You are a runner, and your friend is not.

Your friend is desperate to put you back into the “Hold my handbag” box she put you into years ago. She is not coping with your newfound hotness or confidence. Wait until you get the new friends from your running groups to blow her off with!
Meanwhile, I can attest to the weightloss doesn’t necessarily equal mental wellness. I have managed to lose nearly 60kgs and keep it off, but at the moment my mental health is terrible. Trying to find an exercise that doesn’t hurt. (Have bone issues and live in a hot climate. I wish I enjoyed swimming, but I loathe it!!! Might have to suck it up though. Unfortunately it’s such a solo sport!)

What a bitch. I have disabilities and am overweight etc so have not run for a long time but when I was able to run I never got over 37 minutes for 5k but I was thankful that I was no longer in a wheelchair and able to run at all so I never bothered about beating my time.
She sounds either spiteful or jealous. Either way, you can do better than her.

Firstly, your friend is either a) jealous or b) negative and mean spirited or c) both.

A good walking pace is 1 km per 10 minutes and so I think your 7-8 minutes for a slow jog is very good.

Let’s also talk about the fact you worked towards a 5km jog and found the discipline and motivation.

Let’s also talk about the massive achievement of keeping off weight for a long period of time.

I’d also like to add that you’re on a journey and stay in your own lane. Surround yourself with positive people. You’re winning at health and fitness and getting out there going for runs. You’re making stuff happen !!! Just to put this into perspective, we have a 12 km city to surf in Perth Australia and some people run it and some walk and some walk with prams. The point is you do it and get out there, it’s mostly psychological and the fact you’re willing to do something - that’s the achievement !!

It’s also consistency, you’ve built up a good base level. If you can stick at that then that’s great because it’s about th bigger picture not just today’s time.

I would also like to add that you’re 5km ahead and 39 m faster than her bum on the couch

Don’t ditch the trainers. Ditch the “friend”.

I have not rtft but wow.
Drop her, some people are only happy when it is about them.
Congratulations OP on the changes and confidence you are bringing to your life.

Well done! You've given me some inspiration to start trying to get fit. Your "friend" sounds like a mole (I'm Australian... that's what we call bitches!)

Your friend is a jealous bitch!

How rude of her! I started couch to 5k, and could do the 5k in 45 mins. I was pleased with that, so you have every reason to be elated. Well done!

Your first park run you always have to pace yourself. Runs after this you are familiar with the course and end up getting a little faster each time. Awesome result on your "lifestyle" achievements

My first 5k park run was just over 37 mins and I was over the moon! I didnt manage to jog the whole thing like you though.(which in my eyes is more of an achievement than the time) It's a huge achievement and you should be so proud of yourself! Your friend probably just feels bad about herself and is trying to bring you down.

You're doing brilliantly SlowStarters! I've been running for just over two years now and I rarely run 5k straight; I usually walk a little around km 2&4, just about 15 secs to have a drink, so if you're running it non-stop that's really a great achievement!

Your weight loss and keeping it off are amazing, but they don't define you and as you say, just being slim doesn't necessarily make you feel better about yourself. Running, or any kind of exercise, will go a long way to helping increase your self esteem as you will not only feel healthier,the chances are you'll meet others with their stories to share, and before you know it, you'll have so many new friends with this in common.

If you want to look at improving your speed/distance, have a look at "jeffing" (the Jeff Galloway method) - it's really great and you work at your optimum pace. Not that you need to improve for the sake of it, just keep doing what you're doing and you'll either get faster as your fitness improves or you'll stay just where you are and there's nothing wrong with that because you are already doing just fine!

As well as the supportive people on here (there was a C25K thread when I was doing it), if you're on FB there are loads of running groups - your local parkrun might have one, but also look up Slow Runners Community, Run Bitch Run and Run Mummy Run.

Keep on plodding with the rest of us plodders - we're already lapping everyone on the couch (including your "friend"!).

Good luck for your first parkrun next week - I still haven't done one because the two closest to me are a bit muddy, and I don't want to get my beautiful trainers dirty

Well done, it's an amazing achievement 🎉don't listen to your 'friend'!

@ContessaIsOnADietDammit I hope your DS2 has a great time at junior Parkrun!

@swampytiggaa I absolutely will update next Saturday, that is so inspiring you have progressed to half marathons, that's incredible! pipedream

I'm going to get my trainers on and take my slowstarterarse for a run this morning, I feel so supported and so motivated by you all.

Thank you again, I wish any of my friends were like any one of you

Well done this time next week you will wonder why you didn't do park run before.
Don't worry about your time just keep going .
It's a great community too , everyone really encourages each other .
Love these threads the encouragement has been fab .

I jogged/walked/jogged 5k for race for life and it was HARD.Well done you for jogging it all! Your so called friend is jealous.Dump her.

Well done for your achievements. Your friend is unkind to sneer.

Fussy eater for eating a salad 😂 ooookay then. Yeah, jealousy all over.

I love that she asked you for coffee when you’re doing parkrun. That must have been incredibly satisfying!