To be upset after comment from friend?

[SlowStarters]

For context, I used to be very overweight and unfit, mostly due to MH issues. I lost 38 kilos, and I've kept it off for 6 years now. I discovered I loved hiking and enjoy 10-15k hikes around the Brecon Beacons, for example.

I'm not a 'natural' sportsperson in any way. I'm very short, big bust, mild asthma, but I'm proud of my achievement and want to improve my fitness more so I recently started running. My legs are strong from the hikes but I am slow.

And I say running. Well. More sweaty, breathy jogging, really.

I ran jogged my first full non-stop 5k distance yesterday. I felt elated! I met a friend for coffee this afternoon and told her I'd managed my first 5k in 39 minutes and I was hoping next time I'd knock a minute or two off the time.

She actually scoffed and said she could walk 5k quicker than that. Then she changed the subject.

I can't believe I felt, and still feel, utterly deflated. I know it's really slow and an average time is 25-30 mins but is 39 mins embarrassingly awful?

I feel like throwing my running trainers away.

Wow, not much of a friend is she. She wouldnt be able to walk it that fast, and even if you could why would you even say that to someone?!

You could fall back on the old MN classic and ask "Did you mean to be so rude?"

Like others have said, she's jealous. I'm jealous too I wish I could run 5k, 500m leaves me puffing and panting like a knackered steam train.

You've done fantastically well. Good luck with your next 5k

Your so called friend is a CF. I ran my first 5k in 38 minutes, I was so happy to get round without coughing up a lung or being sick!! Ha ha. If anyone had pissed on my parade I would not class them a friend.

Urghhh I hate 'friends' that do this. So frustrating and horrible when you start to question yourself. The futhest I can run is to the end of my road...and that's only after the ice cream man so please don't let this put you off!

Haven't read all the comments, but I ran my first 5k this week. I say ran, but it was really a jog/fast walk 5k. I took 44mins and 32secs and I was really proud of myself. Well done you for doing it in 39 mins! No way you could walk that distance faster than 39 minutes. Some people like to belittle others as it makes them feel powerful and in control. I have learned to limit my contact with people like that. I'm sorry you felt bad over her comment. Don't throw your trainers away. Invite her to come out for the next 5k and wait for all her excuses.

Try and find a group of like minded people to run with 🏃‍♀️ too. New friends to be supportive & motivating. You will help them as much as they help you. I find the social running is great for MH. It can even be fun! 🤣

I consider myself to be pretty fit - I’m still walking 7 miles a day most days at 38 weeks pregnant - but I couldn’t run 5k continually without stopping. I’ve done fun runs etc at 5/10k but could never run them without breaking it up with waking. She sounds like a horrible cow tbh - ditch her and join some hiking / running clubs through Meet Up etc where you will make friends that will encourage and celebrate your achievements!

Everyone has confirmed I think the same thing.

1. You have done amazingly well
2. Your time is pretty good and expected for a first 5 k- I think it would be foolish to try and kill it on a first one- you are supposed to build up slowly anyway.
3. Your ‘friend’ is not a friend. Friends are supportive and kind and want happiness and good things for you.
4. Sounds like you need to lose some extra ‘baggage’ and surround yourself with less toxic people. Ones that encourage and support you.

I wouldn’t speak to a stranger like that let alone a friend. I’m guessing she has issues. But that’s not your problem. You are moving on and living your life - you have discovered a passion in hiking and now the joys of what running can bring ( and I say that as someone who has run now for many years and is not fast. Hopefully if you continue ( and I really hope you do) you will discover that running isn’t just about speed at all. Or distance. Its about so much more. It’s the amazing buzz you get that you can lunch out on for a good 2 days that makes you feel amazing , the way it de stresses you after a rubbish week, calms the mind and makes your skin glow and your sleep better. It’s the beautiful views and scenery you can soak up as you enjoy the journey.

Good luck you have so much life to look forward to without her!!

I’ve been jogging for three years and I’ve only once done 5k in less than 40 minutes. I really enjoy it and usually that’s all that matters to me. I avoid public running events for fear of ridicule though😔

she does say I'm high maintenance and a fussy eater now, if I order a meal with a salad instead of chips

Seriously? Eat what you like!

Please post again to let us know how Park Run goes

This is sabotage. She tried to ruin running for you. She mocks your healthy choices. She needs you to fail harder than her, so she feels like a success next to you.

Don't let her sabotage you from being the best you!

Her behaviour is absolutely classic. You used to be fatter than her so she felt like she was ok. Now she’s the fatter one and absolutely can’t deal with that. Hence all the criticism of your food choices, exercise etc. Really, you should pity her, it’s quite sad!

@ivegotdreadfulpmttoday

Please don't worry about ridicule at public events. The events are very supportive and encouraging. I once did a run where I was slower than the pantomime horse, and still enjoyed myself

Here you go - weight loss saboteurs:

thingsiwouldsayifihadtime.wordpress.com/2012/09/16/what-to-do-about-weight-loss-saboteurs/

I've been running 5k for ages and 39mins is a really good time for me - I'm always around the 39-41 mark. I think you've done really well - I'm a slow runner and I don't care.

Well done slow starters. I can't even run 5k. I'm just getting off the couch and adding walking and press-ups. You're doing great.

Your friend's not a very pleasant person.

I walk REALLY fast it would take me at least 50 minutes
Ignore your “friend” she’s just jealous

Ghost the jealous cow. Well done - I couldn’t run that.

Your friend is a cow, what a mean thing to say!

That was a nasty remark. Not much of a 'friend' if she is so dismissive, negative and unsupportive of you. She's shown you her true colours. I'd ditch her.

Well done that is amazing and you should be so proud of yourself, keep going, Parkrun is awesome and for everyone. Is your friend usually nicer? Xx

On a positive note I walked the Parkrun route earlier (the proper event had finished) but I feel really excited to slow run it next week. I'll definitely update when I do

You better had!

well done for all you have achieved.
Your friend sounds jealous. Her comment was both spiteful and hurtful.
Avoid her, you deserve better.

Considering that I can barely drive 5km in 38 mins, she’s a nasty piece of work. Ignore and be proud of yourself!!! 🥇🏆🥇

Some people need a friend that they feel superior too. It makes them feel better about themselves. If that friend starts doing things that stop them feeling that way (losing weight, getting fit for example) that friend no longer fulfills their primary purpose in their mind. They will then sabotage and undermine their efforts to improve themselves. Like telling them they are high maintenance for ordering a salad instead of chips, or putting them off 5K runs.

This person is not a real friend and she is in no way happy about you loosing weight and getting fit. Time to distance yourself.

100% just hates the fact of how well you're doing. Take it with a pinch of salt and ask her to do it with you! Bet she is just all talk!