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Original poster

To be upset after comment from friend?

999 replies

SlowStarters · 03/05/2019 19:51

For context, I used to be very overweight and unfit, mostly due to MH issues. I lost 38 kilos, and I've kept it off for 6 years now. I discovered I loved hiking and enjoy 10-15k hikes around the Brecon Beacons, for example.

I'm not a 'natural' sportsperson in any way. I'm very short, big bust, mild asthma, but I'm proud of my achievement and want to improve my fitness more so I recently started running. My legs are strong from the hikes but I am slow.

And I say running. Well. More sweaty, breathy jogging, really.

I ran jogged my first full non-stop 5k distance yesterday. I felt elated! I met a friend for coffee this afternoon and told her I'd managed my first 5k in 39 minutes and I was hoping next time I'd knock a minute or two off the time.

She actually scoffed and said she could walk 5k quicker than that. Then she changed the subject.

I can't believe I felt, and still feel, utterly deflated. I know it's really slow and an average time is 25-30 mins but is 39 mins embarrassingly awful?

I feel like throwing my running trainers away.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
27
GertrudeCB · 03/05/2019 19:53

You have done amazingly well and your so called friend is a bitch.

IsYourGoogleBroken · 03/05/2019 19:56

That would take me an hour to walk and I stride right out. You "friend" is an arse. Well done you on your first 5K - there will be many more

NCforthis2019 · 03/05/2019 19:56

Ditch the friend - she’s insanely jealous of how well you’re doing - she’s probably insecure. Keep it up!

Sizeofalentil · 03/05/2019 19:56

39minutes is a huge achievement! I couldn't do it in that (on the face of it, I'm fairly fit too).

I bet she couldn't do the same. I bet you being active made her feel bad about herself so she had to bring you down a peg.

Armadillostoes · 03/05/2019 19:56

Your friend is horrible! Running 5km non-stop is a brilliant achievement! Don't let her spoil your achievement. Whatever pathetic issues or insecurities she has, don't let them undermine your positive changes.

Asdfghjklll · 03/05/2019 19:56

A quick Google says no you can't walk 5k in that time.
At a typical walking pace, you can walk it in 45 minutes to 60 minutes
That was very mean of your friend to say that. I hate running and downloaded a coach to 5k and couldn't even do the first one without walking more. Friends that run say once you start it gets easier and quicker really quickly.
Keep running and well done you.
X

TowerRavenSeven · 03/05/2019 19:57

Yanbu. Congratulations op! That is brilliant! Honestly it sounds like plain old jealousy to me. I’ve found the closer I am to people are the ones who don’t notice (very apparent) weight loss when they know you are trying and this might be the same. I would get a whole lot of nothing from close friends and very sincere compliments from mere acquaintances. I honestly think it was jealousy. Keep going and do it for you!

ExplodingCarrots · 03/05/2019 19:58

She's an arsehole. You're doing really well. I recently hit 5k again after a long break from running and it was around the 38/39 minute mark and I felt it . Keep going !

Hanumantelpiece · 03/05/2019 19:58

I think that was very rude of your 'friend'. She may have meant it as a joke but it's only a joke if people are laughing.

Well done for getting out there and taking on a challenge. I couldn't run 5k. I did walk 10 miles yesterday, and have been very sore and tired today. I didn't time my walk as it was more of a meander from place to place - I was aiming for distance and stamina not time.

ButterflyBitch · 03/05/2019 19:59

My first 5k was 48 mins so 39 mins is amazing. Your friend is a wanker and you should be proud of how well you did.

justasyouare · 03/05/2019 19:59

There is nothing wrong with your time at all!!
Especially for your first 5k. You were right to feel elated, you should be bloody proud of yourself and your friend is a complete cow!! I’ve been running a couple of years now and still haven’t managed 5k in less that about 32 minutes!

OldAndWornOut · 03/05/2019 19:59

The dynamics of your relationship are changing, and it sounds as if your friend preferred them as they were, the miserable cow.

BishopofBathandWells · 03/05/2019 20:00

She's a bitch, and you're doing brilliantly. I bet she's never walked or run 5k in her life. Echo PPs who say she's jealous of you and the changing dynamic of your friendship.

Raffles1981 · 03/05/2019 20:00

Wow, she must be jealous and insecure to say something so nasty. Don't give up OP, just because of her. You did excellent and you should be proud of yourself. Sometimes when people are afraid of change and get insecure around others, they lash out. Don't throw your trainers away, throw your so called friend away Flowers

HollowTalk · 03/05/2019 20:00

She's not a friend and it sounds as though she's jealous of your achievements rather than supportive. Time to end things with her, I think.

witherwings · 03/05/2019 20:01

She is miserable and probably jealous that you have done so well.
I think 39 mins is excellent, especially for a first time. I've been running for years (with long regular breaks!) and I run it in about that time. Well done!

Loopytiles · 03/05/2019 20:02

Your weight loss and maintenance is a great achievement!

She was VU.

ImNotHappyaboutitPauline · 03/05/2019 20:02

Ditch the so-called friend and keep the trainers Wink. Honestly, some people can only feel good about themselves by making others feel crap!

Oh and well done to you. It's not easy to lose weight and sort your fitness levels, you did that and have maintained it, you should be proud.

Baloonphobia · 03/05/2019 20:04

She's not a nice person. I'd re-evaluate this friendship. When I first did a parkrun without stopping, in about the same time as you, my friend who had finished way before me was sooo enthusiastic and made a big deal of it. Because it is a big deal.

ceeveebee · 03/05/2019 20:04

I’ve been running for a year and only just got down to 32min, was more around the 38-40min mark when I started. Tell your friend to F off!

MamaNewtNewt · 03/05/2019 20:04

That's so mean of your friend. I think that's a fabulous achievement and as someone who is very overweight I find what you've done inspiring.

Smilingthroughtears · 03/05/2019 20:05

I have done couch to 5k and it takes me about 32 minutes to run that when I am feeling good. Sounds about right to me for a first go and particularly if there were hills and you were figuring out a route

Emilydickensonsdogs · 03/05/2019 20:05

That is an amazing achievement. I couldn’t run that far. To be honest, if it took you 90 minutes it wouldn’t matter, the point is, you would still have done it.
Very strange reaction from your friend. Who needs friends like that. Well done on the running and weight loss.

Grumpasaurus · 03/05/2019 20:06

Ah well done op!!!

Your friend doesn't sound very nice, or perhaps more generously, she doesn't sound very secure in herself.

I have a super fit friend who could easily lap me. But whenever I go visit her and we do exercise she is always so encouraging and always builds me up and helps me not give up! That's a good friend.

CheesecakeAddict · 03/05/2019 20:06

Your friend is a bitch. I took up running after having dd to help boost my mood with my pnd. I did my first 5k park run in 42 mins and when I told my friend, who regularly runs 5k in about 20 mins , she was so pleased for me and lifted me up (not literally). That's what real friends do

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