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Original poster

To be upset after comment from friend?

999 replies

SlowStarters · 03/05/2019 19:51

For context, I used to be very overweight and unfit, mostly due to MH issues. I lost 38 kilos, and I've kept it off for 6 years now. I discovered I loved hiking and enjoy 10-15k hikes around the Brecon Beacons, for example.

I'm not a 'natural' sportsperson in any way. I'm very short, big bust, mild asthma, but I'm proud of my achievement and want to improve my fitness more so I recently started running. My legs are strong from the hikes but I am slow.

And I say running. Well. More sweaty, breathy jogging, really.

I ran jogged my first full non-stop 5k distance yesterday. I felt elated! I met a friend for coffee this afternoon and told her I'd managed my first 5k in 39 minutes and I was hoping next time I'd knock a minute or two off the time.

She actually scoffed and said she could walk 5k quicker than that. Then she changed the subject.

I can't believe I felt, and still feel, utterly deflated. I know it's really slow and an average time is 25-30 mins but is 39 mins embarrassingly awful?

I feel like throwing my running trainers away.

OP posts:
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goldenchicken · 03/05/2019 20:36

Oooops, random hashtag after the word 'loss!' SORRY!

SandunesAndRainclouds · 03/05/2019 20:36

Well done on your first 5k! I can still remember how I felt once I’d finished couch to 5k.

Your time is great, a lot of people want to break the 30min time, but others are quite happy to just run and not give a damn about the numbers on their watch!

Your friend couldn’t walk 5km in that time. I’d like to see her try... maybe she’d like to come to parkrun and give it a go?!

CalmConfident · 03/05/2019 20:36

Come to parkrun!!!! Register tonight, and do it tomorrow morning Smile. Do it!!!!!

People have posted all you need to know above, if you give us a clue on location there might be one of us there :)

Bluntness100 · 03/05/2019 20:36

You did really well and your achievements are huge. There are plenty and I mean plenty who couldn't do what you've done.

She was being a bitch. We don't know her or your dymanic, but she was putting you down to make herself feel better about herself.

So it's not about you, it's about her. She's in some way envious of your achievements, your new lease of life, and she wanted to rip it apart.

Not because of you, because of who she is, and what she's got going on.

PotsOfJoy · 03/05/2019 20:36

You're friend is a nob. I guarantee that next time you do it you'll be faster and you'll soon be knocking it down to less than 30.

PotsOfJoy · 03/05/2019 20:37

Your*

LilyRose16 · 03/05/2019 20:37

Please please give your local parkrun a try! I am super shy and it has changed my life. I have a tiny social circle and I always thought parkrun was way out of my comfort zone but I’m so glad I tried it. It really can be life changing. Everyone is welcoming and friendly, and you get such a buzz afterwards!

Please don’t throw your trainers away, she is a nasty person to say something horrible like that. Huge well done for your first 5k!

Cherrysherbet · 03/05/2019 20:39

That’s a huge achievement op. I am hopeless at running! I wish I could find the courage to give it a go.

Your friend is a jealous tit.

ifoundthebread · 03/05/2019 20:40

Even if 39 minutes was awful (which it's not) your friend should of been happy for you because you'd achieved something you were proud of, regardless of what that was.
Congrats on the 5k! And on the initial weight loss!

SeigneurLapindeGrantham · 03/05/2019 20:40

Oh slowstarters she's no friend of yours at all! She should be cheering you on. I'm a rubbish runner and could never run 5k in that time if ever.

SoleBizzz · 03/05/2019 20:40

5km in 39 minutes wow. I had no idea that was possible. You are an amazing fit female!

shrill · 03/05/2019 20:41

I want to try parkrun OP so have looked up local ones quite often! I'm very tempted to start off walking as you can see the different times for individuals not usually named but I've never plucked up the courage to join in. Not everyone runs so you'll be ahead of those who chose to walk with that timing!

Go for it OP you'll be welcomed and praised for your achievements which are brilliant and ignore your extremely jealous friend.

InTheEndgameNow · 03/05/2019 20:41

You've done brilliantly OP. For what it's worth, I did C25K a year ago and my first 5k time was around 40 minutes. Yesterday I got a personal best of 27 minutes. Keep at it and you will improve loads. In the meantime, ditch the friend, she sounds bitter and jealous.

Ihatehashtags · 03/05/2019 20:42

What everyone else has said. She’s jealous and you are amazing!

Standingonlego · 03/05/2019 20:45

My fave parkrun photo.

We have a 2 lap course, our first finisher on his 2nd lap and the legend that is Bob..in his 80s and done nearly 350 parkruns Smile. Join us ;)

To be upset after comment from friend?
TheGrey1houndSpeaks · 03/05/2019 20:47

She’s as jealous as a rat...

HollowTalk · 03/05/2019 20:47

Maybe ask her to go running with you next time and see how fast she runs - I bet you anything you'd beat her (and she knows it.)

Did you used to be heavier than her, but are now lighter than her?

Original poster
SlowStarters · 03/05/2019 20:48

I wish I'd had coffee with any one of you! I'm getting annoyed at myself now for letting her upset me so much. I haven't got very thick skin.

But I've worked too hard to feel this low about one opinion.

I'm on my local parkrun's website! There were only a dozen or so runners slower than 39 mins, maybe I could spend a month or so improving and then bite the bullet and join in?!

It's been an ambition for a while, I must admit. I'm in the West Midlands if anyone else is for Parkrun's and fancies holding my sweaty and slow hand!

OP posts:
GabrielleNelson · 03/05/2019 20:48

I second all the recommendations for parkrun.

I never ran until very recently. I started getting involved with parkrun as a volunteer and ended up starting to walk it. 45 minutes is probably about my best brisk walking time for our very hilly course, so your 'friend' doesn't know what she's talking about. I have a friend who does race-style walking and can do parkrun in well under 40 minutes, but she is exceptional. Most walkers (older ones, anyway) would struggle to do it much faster than me.

I've now progressed to jogging most of the 5k and my best time is about 37 minutes. I can't really call it running except when I'm going downhill! But I can do it. I never thought when I was younger I could do anything like this. I actually really enjoy it now and feel (and I think look) very much better for it.

The point about parkrun is that it is a run, not a race. You aren't competing to be the first home, you're taking part for your own enjoyment and fitness and if there is a competitive element it's against yourself - well, that's how it works for me and most people I've met through parkrun.

Good luck - you may well meet some much nicer and more supportive people through parkrun! I have.

Bobbins1 · 03/05/2019 20:50

Not cool of your friend at all, you should be proud of your first 5k being 39 minutes! I did mine in near that time and I talked about it FOR WEEKS!

Shodan · 03/05/2019 20:51

I'd love to be able to run 5k without stopping in any time tbh! So far my longest 'run' (ungainly, flollopy jog) has been 1.2km and I have no idea how long it took (ds1 is a very kind supporter Grin)

Your friend sounds jealous and deeply unpleasant.

Shockers · 03/05/2019 20:51

Your friend is a twat.

Keep up the good work! 🏅

AJPTaylor · 03/05/2019 20:54

I am 5'2" and busty. It's people like your friend that put me off even trying. Cowbag

Original poster
SlowStarters · 03/05/2019 20:55

Did you used to be heavier than her, but are now lighter than her?

I hadn't thought about that but yes. I'm now a size 10/12, she's around a 14/16 I think. But she's got a great figure and fab long legs.

I don't understand at all from her perspective what she's got to feel jealous about me - maybe she genuinely thinks it's so slow that she wouldn't be telling anyone? She's normally quite a blunt person. I always admired her honesty. But she can be judgemental.

@Standingonlego that photo is brilliant! I could keep Bob company (if I could keep up!)

OP posts:
MyGastIsFlabbered · 03/05/2019 20:55

That's a really cunty thing to say. I'm not sure I'd completely cut her off but I'd definitely be having words. I did a Parkrun recently and it took me 54 minutes walking. Since dying of shame I've been doing C25K and I'm hoping for a better time tomorrow