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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be upset after comment from friend?

999 replies

SlowStarters · 03/05/2019 19:51

For context, I used to be very overweight and unfit, mostly due to MH issues. I lost 38 kilos, and I've kept it off for 6 years now. I discovered I loved hiking and enjoy 10-15k hikes around the Brecon Beacons, for example.

I'm not a 'natural' sportsperson in any way. I'm very short, big bust, mild asthma, but I'm proud of my achievement and want to improve my fitness more so I recently started running. My legs are strong from the hikes but I am slow.

And I say running. Well. More sweaty, breathy jogging, really.

I ran jogged my first full non-stop 5k distance yesterday. I felt elated! I met a friend for coffee this afternoon and told her I'd managed my first 5k in 39 minutes and I was hoping next time I'd knock a minute or two off the time.

She actually scoffed and said she could walk 5k quicker than that. Then she changed the subject.

I can't believe I felt, and still feel, utterly deflated. I know it's really slow and an average time is 25-30 mins but is 39 mins embarrassingly awful?

I feel like throwing my running trainers away.

OP posts:

Thread gallery

Sagradafamiliar · 03/05/2019 20:28

Well done you 💪🏼

FeeLock · 03/05/2019 20:28

This woman is not a friend worth keeping: it was a spiteful, unkind, and unnecessary thing to say. Suggest you don't analyse yourself or the comment and just file under 'former'!

Mitzicoco · 03/05/2019 20:28

OP that is brilliant! I've been running for yonks and that is a great score! Good for you! (Ditch friend)

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 03/05/2019 20:28

She's a dick. I can't run 2k without walking some - I would be ecstatic if I could run 5k. The speed wouldn't be important to me at all, but I can tell you I'm a very fast walker and I couldn't walk 5k in that time, so your dick friend is also an idiot.

Justcantforget · 03/05/2019 20:28

Well done op, she doesnt sound like a supportive friend, well done on the weight loss its not easy especially to keep it off shes probably jealous of you, keep on running.

Independentwoman · 03/05/2019 20:29

Well done! That's a huge achievement!

I wouldn't dream of speaking like that to anyone, let alone a supposed friend. We should all encourage and be pleased for others. If this is a one off and she's supposed to be a good friend that you say you don't want to lose, I'd just tell her it made you feel shitty. You'll know if you really want to remain friends with her reaction x

Figure8 · 03/05/2019 20:29

I'm in awe of anyone that can run even 1km, never mind 5!
Well done.

Your friend isn't adapting well to the fitter you. She was BU

ShinyShoe · 03/05/2019 20:30

She’s not a friend.

Thisisthelaststraw · 03/05/2019 20:31

That was a really mean thing for her to say. Is she otherwise a nice person or do you recognise a snipey side now you’re feeling better about yourself? If so, I’d say she’s jealous and you need to dump her and not the trainers!

Congratulations on your achievement. That’s really fantastic

Teddybear45 · 03/05/2019 20:31

Anyone can walk a 5k fast. Not everyone can run it in one go without training.

crummyusername · 03/05/2019 20:31

39 min is pretty much what I did for my first 5k too. Your friend really is (a) wrong and (b) really unkind.

I’m a big Parkrun fan. The ethos is totally inclusive and everyone matters equally from the fastest to the slowest. There is always a tail walker and the slowest runners are very likely to take longer than 39 min! I would recommend looking at the results page of your local one for the last few weeks to get an idea of how many participants and what the slower times are.

Disfordarkchocolate · 03/05/2019 20:32

Well done, you should be very proud of your achievement. Your friend is not very nice.

LuluBellaBlue · 03/05/2019 20:32

Parkrun is lovely, super friendly, please so give it a try! Well done OP!!!

DontStopMoving · 03/05/2019 20:32

www.parkrun.org.uk/register/

If you register for parkrun this will tell you everything you need to know. And should have details of your local park run. Parkrun in my experience is very welcoming and inclusive, and one of the organisers do a short intro at the start. You definitely wouldn't be left behind. Go for it.

hodgeheg92 · 03/05/2019 20:32

@slowstarters Park run is wonderfully supportive And with a time like that you wouldn't be the last at our local one by any stretch! People of all shapes/sizes/ages do them. Or, do you have a "This Girl Runs" running club nearby? They seem to be lovely groups and they do park run as a team.

Thurmanmurman · 03/05/2019 20:32

She’s no friend OP. I couldn’t run 5k, you’ve done brilliantly!

MelanieCheeks · 03/05/2019 20:33

You are doing brilliantly, and "friend" has no idea how long it would take to walk 5 km. But there's no way it would be 39 mins.

Somersetlady · 03/05/2019 20:33

39 minutes is an amazing start. I ran 5k 6 days a week and was only 9minutes faster than you on an average.
You knocked it out of the park for your first to.

Be proud of yourself because your friend has an issue. But it’s HER issue not yours!

Keep going especially as you say you felt great after it.

TheBigFatMermaid · 03/05/2019 20:33

Google parkrun, it explains how it works. Sign up. Crack on and enjoy it with like minded people!

Well done, you have done soooo well! Fabulous.

Your 'friend' has a serious case of the green eyed monster.

FilthyforFirth · 03/05/2019 20:33

Huge well done. I am about 4 stone over weight and recently back into running. I started off at 42 minutes and I hit 39 this week. I am elated. My pb is 27 minutes, but for where I am now I am I an pleased. Don't give up, you are doing amazing.

Jeezoh · 03/05/2019 20:34

You should be really proud of yourself! Park runs are really friendly, be brave and give it a go!

MaudeLynne · 03/05/2019 20:34

You lost almost 6 stones and are now running? That's amazing, well done. Your friend was mean - was it a one off or has there been other comments? Come back and let us know when you do 38 minutes.

ElspethFlashman · 03/05/2019 20:34

I'm doing c25k and one day I want to be you.

My sister is a massive longterm runner who can do a 5k in her sleep but she's actually been pretty supportive and hasn't made any comments like that. Have a new appreciation for her now!

Keep the friend if you're short on local friends, but be wary of her. And definitely don't be always the one who initiates contact. Become a bit "sooooo crazy busy"

goldenchicken · 03/05/2019 20:35

@SlowStarters

What a horrible cow your 'friend' is! Jealous and catty and spiteful.

5K in 39 minutes! One kilometer every 8 minutes. That's fab. Many people couldn't do that! And well done on your weight loss.#

Onwards and upwards chick. Fuckholes to your 'FRIEND.' She is a bitch!'