Am I being an unreasonable party pooper?

[ClumsyVanilla]

So I'm going on this hen do for one of my most long standing friends. Now I know that they're getting more and more expensive and I don't begrudge going on her hen in the slightest. She came to mine (which cost about £250 all in - which in my eyes is on the higher end of the cost spectrum).
For hers we're booking a private house for 2 nights costing £200 per person, we then need spending money for the nights out (probably about £100-£150), bring our own alcohol and money for food shopping. But it's not stopping there. The girls (or one in particular) in the group keep suggesting more and more. First it was that we all have to wear a very specific, plain, bright colour outfit on the night out. Bearing in mind that we'd probably have to buy something new as no patterns were allowed and it had to be a bright colour (not everyone's standard wardrobe choice). Then it was matching pj's for the evening which we had to buy. Then it was t-shirts printed with 'bride squad' on them. And now they're suggesting matching swimwear too. I'm very fussy about swimwear, as a lot of women probably are and I don't want to be spending so much money on things I'll never wear again. With everything including all of the suggestions it's taking the cost of the trip to over £400-£450. Am I being unreasonable or is it all getting out of hand? 🤷‍♀️

Who's organizing the hen? That's alot to spend on one hen do. Is the other lass just running with ideas or are they set in stone?

Sounds like someones getting carried away! Does the bride know, can you explain to her nicely?

Some people are enthusiastic to organise something fancy but highly inconsiderate of other people’s budget.
I also think it’s too much and would discuss it with the other girls. I doubt you are the only one who feels like this but often in terms of money, many are afraid to speak up. Not wanting to spend that much does NOT make you unreasonable or a bad friend.

Oh god!! It’s all completely for social media pictures! Tell her to fuck off!

Are all these women loaded? Or have they no sense when it comes to money (or shame, but that’s by the bye). Given some matching outfits I’ve seen on Hen dos, I think you’re right to be cautious about the swimwear!

I’d just say no. If you can’t go unless you all dress up I simply wouldn’t go. If more people said no to these stupid ideas then they wouldn’t happen.

That is RIDICULOUS. Completely unreasonable, and out of control.

Matching swimwear? You'd have to kill me first. Is she an InstaWanker?

Just message her
"Matching swimwear? Rein in there Rita, we have t-shirts, specific colour outfits, matching pj's, this is already racked up into the 100's, I am drawing a line at matching swimwear, take a breath! We can have a great weekend without everything matching"

The ideas weren't set in stone at the beginning so we didn't know it was going to cost this much. But now the pj's, night out outfits and t-shirts are set in stone. The swimwear is a new suggestion.
I wouldn't not go as she's one of my closest friends. But I also don't want to look like a tight arse!

I'm so glad I'm not alone in thinking this!

I'm willing to bet Rita suits the colour and the swimwear as well.

CalmdownJanet that's a really good message... I just don't want to be the one to rain on the parade, so to speak, if everyone else wants to do these things.

MrsTerryPratchett We haven't designated colours to each person. But we all have to wear a very bright colour (no patterns, muted, pastels etc).

Honestly if you are thinking it I would happily stick a tenner on other people thinking it too! Say it! Swimwear is fucking ridiculous!

Matching swimwear is batshit.

And anyone with big boobs can forget it anyway as they (we) have to go to specialist shops. Swimwear's a frigging nightmare.

matching stuff is for pictures... I don't know ANYONE who would pose in a group photo in swimwear

We haven't designated colours to each person.

I know. I'm assuming Rita suits the colour, PJs and swimwear because she's the one who is keen on matching. And wants the pictures for her social media.

Am I the only one wondering how you can wear your matching t-shirts and your full bright outfit at the same time

I would just be saying sorry unless you want to pay for these for me I can’t afford it and turn up as you are. You are there to support the bride, not the person arranging the party

PotterHead1985

😂 No, we're having t-shirts to wear on the journey there/back. Then the outfits for going out for drinks

When I read about these Hen do's I find it difficult to believe the people are adults really with the silly dressing up, never mind the drinking.

It originally sounded like a good time ahead, now it reads like a nightmare, and getting worse.

Yanbu. If you’re a party pooper then so too must I be. I’d be very grumpy about all of that. I’d do a t-shirt, which is lame but harmless enough. I’d dig my heels in about the rest. Waste of money to fulfill someone else’s social media vision. No thanks.

Oh, put her back in her box quickly, fgs! Matching pyjamas indeed. Wtf?
Just say no.

I've have said no or backed out completely waaay before this!

This weekend away is going to be a nightmare OP. Just putting it out there.....