MLM - How do I leave?

[Cosyhusky]

I've been part of a MLM for a few months. Not a well known one at present. I was convinced to sign up at this AMAZING time because no one had really heard of it and it was still in pre-launch. I had no idea what I was getting involved with.

£199 start up. Zoom calls every night.I don't attend them. Told to add 50 (50!!!) people a day to my fb. I haven't and won't. CEO lives every day I need to attend. 40 minute training videos I'm told I MUST watch. It's coffee. The products are disgusting. I'm told the only way I'm going to make any money is to recruit. I'm not comfortable with that. I'm not ok with messaging everyone I know multiple times. I should have done my research I know. I just want out.

I'm annoyed that my 'upline' is my friend. She knew exactly what she was conning me in to. How do I diplomatically leave without ruining the friendship? She has kids at the same school so I see her daily...

She knew exactly what she was conning me in to. How do I diplomatically leave without ruining the friendship?

She conned you - why do you care how diplomatic you are?

@IsYourGoogleBroken - You're right. I am massively pissed off by this. But I have to see her twice a day on the school run. So maybe not keep the friendship, but not make things awkward.

Just calmly tell her that you don't like the coffee, so you don't feel comfortable selling it and will leave. Then disengage from all the MLM; unsubscribe and add to spam. If sheathed badly as a result then she isn't a friend. Sorry you've lost money, but at least you've learned from it.

she's no friend

Firstly, well done for recognising that it's a pile of shite and that you need to leave. MLMs are a scam and many people lose thousands before they realise that.

In terms of trying not to torpedo the friendship - it's difficult whilst she's still in the grip of the MLM. As you have already seen people are encouraged to be desperate, so she won't want to lose one of her downlines. Be prepared for tears, tantrums, begging. People can also turn quite nasty on those who leave - it's designed to discourage others from following suit and jumping ship.

In your shoes, I would remove yourself from all of the FB groups, WhatsApp chats etc. Then send her a text saying that you have had a think about it and it's not for you, but best of luck and you hope to catch up with her soon. Then leave the ball in her court.

Can you send her this link? It would be doing her a favour as well as explaining your position.

ellebeaublog.com/2017/02/01/chapter-1-getting-reeled-in/

There is also a documentary on MLM on BBC iplayer that's worth a watch.

^^ what @MRex said .

You wont be the only one though will you, she'll have manipulated half the school gate into this.

Honestly? I’m not sure a friendship is worth it if they are prepared to con you out of £200 for their own gain. Cut your losses and just walk away.

And when you see her at the school gates, be polite, smile and say hi and then make sure you are talking to other people. If she behaves badly it will reflect on her rather than you.

I’m in the ‘sounds like mlm but ok’ group on fb and the people who are ex-mlm have said with leaving it’s often just quietly stopping and telling your upline that you don’t have time. Your friend conned you, she made money off your ‘investment’ so while I get you have to see her daily, you don’t owe her long explanations.

Sorry, but she’s no longer your friend. She might become a friend again in the future, but only when she realises what you already do about the reality of MLM’s.
Just tell her you are no longer part of this. No reasons or further explanation than that as she won’t listen and will try to drag you back in. Which she will anyway and you will need to ignore. You can add that you hope your ‘business decision’ won’t have a negative effect on your ‘personal friendship’ if you want (it will unfortunately, while she is still in the MLM fold).
Good for you to recognise the issues and withdraw.

You can’t. You need to just message her/call her and be firm and honest.

‘Sorry DF - this isn’t for me. I’m misunderstood and don’t want to be involved anymore. Can you remove me from all of your lists etc?’

Be prepared to block her when she starts going on.

Also send her a link to the iPlayer documentary about mlm which she may watch. Unlikely but you can hope.

@ControversialFerret - Oh god the Whatsapp groups! I'm getting hundreds of messages a day from everyone. I muted them as soon as I was added to them and do my best not to get involved.

@blackfriars - YES! I read that Elle's story last night and felt SO uneasy as I was mentally ticking off things that were said to me too and how scarily similar our stories seem to be!

@lola006 - You're right!

Good on you for seeing through this MLM nonsense. You don't owe this woman any explanations. If she tries to talk you out of her decision tell her it's not up for discussion. Don't give her any reasons - she'll only try to find a weak spot to find a way to persuade you not to quit.

Have you got any unsold stock? If so, ring head office and ask for a refund. I hope you haven't got into debt.

The sooner these schemes are made illegal, the better!

@BSintolerant No, no debt. But yes I have unsold stock. I've tried contacting them but it's a bloody nightmare!!!

Thing is your friend has been conned too - she just hasn't realised it yet. Good few years ago I was being buttered up to join Arbonne. Googled it and realised it wasn't for me.

You might find this blog post on how to leave an mlm helpful: botwatch.blog/2017/04/29/how-to-leave-an-mlm/

If they're funny about giving you a refund, or difficult to contact have a word with Trading Standards.

If you’ve read Elle’s blog then you know the “fake it til you make it” applies to her too. She’s shitting herself about failing (I imagine publicly hyping this stuff then quitting must be really embarrassing) and losing money.

Send her the link and say you’re not doing it any more, and if she doesn’t want to do it either you’ll be there to support her.

Remove yourself from the WhatsApp groups

No explanation is required.

You’ll feel liberated when you do

Just tell friend you don't have the time to commit to at the moment and wish her well.

Remove yourself from all the groups
Block telephones numbers/email addresses from people who you know will contact you about that.
Accept that you have lost a few hundreds pounds and just chuck the coffee in the bin.

As for the friend, send her a text saying that unfortunately you really dint like the taste so don’t feel you can sell it. Wish her luck and make a point of engaging with other people on the playground.

As pp have said, blame time. You didn't realise how much it involved, and you don't feel you have enough time to do justice to the job etc. Fob off with 'maybe when the kids are bigger ' if you have to.

Actually friend I am sorry but I feel I have been conned and I have therefore removed myself from any association with the brand. I can’t be part of a pyramid scheme and take advantage of other people.

Cheerio, see you Tuesday have a good bank holiday weekend 👋

Merryoldgoat that's good advice.