Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MLM - How do I leave?

88 replies

Cosyhusky · 03/05/2019 12:17

I've been part of a MLM for a few months. Not a well known one at present. I was convinced to sign up at this AMAZING time because no one had really heard of it and it was still in pre-launch. I had no idea what I was getting involved with.

£199 start up. Zoom calls every night.I don't attend them. Told to add 50 (50!!!) people a day to my fb. I haven't and won't. CEO lives every day I need to attend. 40 minute training videos I'm told I MUST watch. It's coffee. The products are disgusting. I'm told the only way I'm going to make any money is to recruit. I'm not comfortable with that. I'm not ok with messaging everyone I know multiple times. I should have done my research I know. I just want out.

I'm annoyed that my 'upline' is my friend. She knew exactly what she was conning me in to. How do I diplomatically leave without ruining the friendship? She has kids at the same school so I see her daily...

OP posts:
IsYourGoogleBroken · 03/05/2019 13:04

If they're funny about giving you a refund, or difficult to contact have a word with Trading Standards. What do you think Trading Standards will do ? The product isnt faulty

SpeckofStardust · 03/05/2019 13:06

Write off the money you’ve already spent, including the stock you still have. Regard it like you dropped your wallet with that amount of money in it but with no ID in the street so you accept you have zero chance of getting it back. Now draw a line under it. Get rid of the stock you have, donate it to a food bank or the school fair or bin it. You could still try for a ‘buyback’ from the mlm but that means you still have to be in contact with them and as you say it’s a nightmare, why put yourself through that?

As far as your friend is concerned do not engage. Don’t tell her you’re leaving, just leave, if she asks tell her it’s not for you and you’re done then change the subject. As far as the wider mlm network is concerned, again, don’t announce you’re leaving just quietly withdraw and block all the insta and Facebook groups.

PamelaX · 03/05/2019 13:07

You got pulled in, so did she. She has been conned before you, the same way you did, and you both genuinely thought you would make money. I wouldn't consider her any more dishonest than you .

Just walk away, it's not for you, you can go quietly and if she asks, just tell her it's not for you

Margot33 · 03/05/2019 13:08

Just remove your self from the what's app and deactivate fb for a while. Write off your £199. When they write to you, post unsold stock back. No need to explain yourself to your friend. If she asks just say it's not my cup of tea.

lborolass · 03/05/2019 13:10

I wouldn't waste your time with trading standards, that would be a further waste of your time for no result imo, write off what it's cost you already and move on, if the friendship is a casualty that's a shame but probably unavoidable

lborolass · 03/05/2019 13:11

If she asks just say it's not my cup of tea

Yes, the coffee just isn't a cup of tea, she cam't argue with that Grin

bumtickler · 03/05/2019 13:12

I agree give the stock away and just chalk it up to experience. You`ll not get a refund! Blame lack of time/ not for you wish her luck. Then just step away.

Good for you for realising before you lost any more money and friends!

tanpestryfirescreen · 03/05/2019 13:15

But yes I have unsold stock

car boot as I imagine it has a short life? Or food bank if you dont need any money back

JaneEyre07 · 03/05/2019 13:15

You won't get a penny back.

Just remove yourself from all contact, block numbers if necessary and throw the junk in the bin.

You'll feel loads better after.

We've got a Forever bot in our village, she's worked her way well up the chain and does well out of it but she's the perfect person to do so as she's all happy smiley and would sell ice to eskimos. I avoid her like the plague!

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 03/05/2019 13:18

This sounds like Valentus or Revital-U.
Some of the product they've had in the UK hasn't been legal to sell so it might be worth checking the ingredients on the stock you have. If it's not legal report to Trading Standards.

bigKiteFlying · 03/05/2019 13:19

I think £199 is gone - and frankly I'd be bnloody annoyed with a "friend" that cost me that much - though I'd quietly withdraw and tell friend it's not for you or you don't have time.

My MIL found she had to to get angry about all the selling parties she was being invited to before she could with the stand social pressure to buy or turn the parties down.

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/05/2019 13:20

Is that that keto coffee? My boss has been sucked into that too, I warned him but he went ahead and guess what? Not one single sale.

I suspect he will be binning it asap.

Just stop. Dont say anything, dont do anything, just stop.

MessyMummy15 · 03/05/2019 13:21

Stupid question... what is MLM???

HipHipHippo · 03/05/2019 13:25

Messy it's multi level marketing. In other words a thinly veiled pyramid scheme.

Well done for getting out OP

Tanith · 03/05/2019 13:25

Personally, I would do an "EllaBeau" and post what you have written in your op on all the Whatsapps, Facebook pages etc.. to warning to any other poor woman desperate to earn some money working for herself. If they were to see how much most people lose to these schemes, they'd be less likely to sign up.

People quietly withdrawing is how these con artists are getting away with it.

SihtricsHorseWitnere · 03/05/2019 13:28

The money's gone. I'd be raging she conned me, unsubscribe from it all and avoid her from now on. I'd also be worried she conned others.

SpeckofStardust · 03/05/2019 13:35

@Tanith, by all means OP should spout off on general forums and blogs etc but it’s an exercise in futility to proselytize about the evils of a given mlm to members of that mlm itself on social media groups they control. All you’ll get is lashback from those with a vested and desperate interest in the truth not being known. Sure you can try to be the hero riding in to save the unwary, but you’ll be shutdown almost immediately, dubbed a bitter loser who didn’t want it enough or try hard enough.

Saffy101 · 03/05/2019 13:35

THIS is NOT friendship. I am always there for my friends if they need me and vice versa and so I looked up freindship, this is what it said.... A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself - and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to - letting a person be what he really is. Not a freind, don't worry too much about her reaction.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 03/05/2019 13:36

I've lost a friend to TBS at home recently,oh dear God ,it's like talking to a robot and I have to avoid her like the plague now. Sad because she's lovely.

Poppyinafieldofdreams · 03/05/2019 13:37

Get out and get out now.

You must be businesslike.

Your friend has taken advantage of her friendship with you. She has betrayed you.

You are far too nice to be taken advantage of.

Here is how to deal with it. Tell the truth without personalising it. I too have known leeches like this.

Put yourself first for a change.

Letsnotusemyname · 03/05/2019 13:37

I wasn’t sure what MLM was - it’s pyramid selling.

You’re a couple of steps ahead of your friend in working out it’s a losers game.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multi-level_marketing

She’ll realise it too.

Is pyramid selling legal?

bloatedbird · 03/05/2019 13:40

dsa.org.uk/illegal-schemes-2/

bloatedbird · 03/05/2019 13:41

It is illegal in the United Kingdom to promote or participate in a pyramid scheme

RussellSprout · 03/05/2019 13:44

MLM get round the legislation by having a product, but the product is incidental.

OP, suggest you grit your teeth and go for the stuck record technique

'Not for me, I don't have the time'

Rinse and repeat.

don't engage in a dialogue, the more excuses you give her the more scope she will think she has to talk you out of it.

I think 10-15 years ago MLMs were more successful but nowadays everyone's becoming aware of what rubbish they are, it only takes 5 seconds on the internet to find out.