To think I have a problem or is anyone else like this?

[Insightfulusername]

I am so worried every time I leave the house that I haven’t locked it. I have to go back and check at least a few times before I drive to work and even today I had to force myself to just drive off even though I had checked probably three times already! Is anyone else like this? I’m the same about locking the door at night as well, particularly if I’m on my own overnight.

If I’m with someone else and they can also check it or they’ve locked it up, I’m fine with that, almost like if it’s someone else’s action I trust it!

I know it’s silly and it’s very unlikely I won’t have locked the door or can’t remember having not locked it etc. but it makes me dread leaving the house as I know I’ll have that few minutes of stress! I start thinking about how awful it would be if someone broke in and what would happen.

Any tips?? I’m not calling myself ‘OCD’ as I know that’s a serious disorder and I don’t want to make light of it but I would love to know if I’m not alone and more importantly, if anyone has any tips for just getting over it and leaving the house without worrying!

I’ve forgotten to lock the door at least 3 times previously, so I check regularly because I know it’s a 50-50 chance I’ve spaced out and forgotten.

Those of you with straighter ‘anxiety’ (anyone actually!) can you not get ones that turn off after a set time? And aren’t there mats you can buy to put them on that don’t burn?

Hi. Once I forgot to lock the front door. I returned an hour later to a wide open door. Nothing bad happened but it triggered my ocd. Now I'm the same as you. It's managable now because when I lock the front door, I try the handle to check its locked them pinch the back of my hand. So when I'm driving away and question myself, the slight pain in my hand reminds me that I did do it! If it continues to plague my mind I say out loud, "if it happens to be unlocked and burglars come, that's what insurance is for" and carry on with my journey.

I've had this since I was around 10 years old. It started with repeatedly checking the lock on my school locker.

When I am locking my door now I focus completely on it as a stepped process: lock one, two turns; lock two, one turn; then the key goes in a zipped compartment in my bag and the zip is closed.

Similar with checking things are switched off before I leave the house—my routine now is that I check a room and then close the door.

If someone is with me when I'm locking the door I have to tell them to meet me on the pavement so I can concentrate.

I don't worry about it any more now that I have these routines.

It does also help to tell yourself "I may leave the door open but I'd rather be burgled than continue to live this way".

I find that helps with health anxiety also.

I actually have left the front door unlocked a few times, but the only time we had a burglar was when he climbed over the 6 foot brick wall in the back garden and broke the kitchen window to get in.

Now I really don't worry that much, if they want to get in, they'll find a way in. Luckily we had fuck all for him to take. TV is 10 years old, mobiles were with us, no cash or jewellery left at home for him to take. Twat had a wasted journey but cost me a broken window.

My Dh is like this. How many times we have set of for a walk or gone on holiday (in the car UK)and had to come back, even quite long distances with 4 screaming DC. If we go abroad I have to arrange a friend to go and check or he'll spend the flight and holiday worrying.

It's ok to be worried about something so important but it's also important to recognise that the constant checking is irrational.

You are doing the right thing to resist the urge but you need to do this every single time. You need to cut back on the two or three times that you "allow" yourself. Do this in small baby steps. Perhaps promise yourself a small reward if you can manage to resist.
At first it gets harder as so far your Brain has managed to "boss" you into giving into its demands. When you resist, it will try to up the ante to make you "give in". By recognising this will happen, and continuing to resist it, eventually your brain gives in and the anxiety lessons.

Perhaps start off by having a form that you tick with the date and time next to it. Then reduce each step and/or perhaps just allowing one check less than before. Remember small baby steps

DD managed to conquer something similar by taking this approach - recommended by mental health professionals.

I think most of us have one or two areas we feel a bit like this. Thoughts flit through my mind sometimes on various things but most people manage to mentally shrug them off with a "don't be silly, that's irrational" self pep talk. But you've gone beyond this in this particular issue, so time for a CBT type approach with the baby steps and resting the urge. Remember the anxiety will increase before it will lesson. Power through it. Reward yourself.

Good luck.

With straighteners I now unplug after use and make sure I've let it register that its unplugged.

I am a dozy mare, I once left my car keys in the car door when parking up in the town where I work, a policeman saw and identified where I worked from my car pass and brought it into reception (embarrassed).

So in my case I know my anxiety is justified.

Thank God. I'm glad its not just me. I do worry that I am losing my marbles. I left the door unlocked on the way to a funeral and also on the way to visit a sick friend. To be fair family were with me when we left and no one else noticed either. But ever since I've been cautious about it.

It happens most when I am on auto pilot, rushing to give lifts and get people out of the house. I'm driving up the road and think.. did I close the front door.. and because I'm on auto pilot I literally have no memory of doing it and have to go back. Its not every time, but maybe twice a month.. Is that bad? I just don't know.
I am more concerned about it now than ever since the family often don't check and I feel I have to check for them, eg DH frequently leaves the lit hob on.. I take pictures and send them to him, but he just says "well you caught it".Youngest DC left the door open when leaving for school when I was out and I came home 10 mins later to find it gaping open we were lucky not to be robbed.

So I don't know if its me or having to continually check up that others have done what they should have - and often finding they haven't. Its very stressful actually.

When we are leaving to go on holiday. They sit in the car complaining and I go back into the house to double double check because I just can't trust anyone else to do it properly. I have to leave a list on the fridge the night before and check it.. I don't know if this is OCD or not.
Maybe I should call it OCD with a reason.

I used to be like this with the door iron and hair straighteners, I solved that by getting magic plugs that I can turn off using an app on my phone so even if I forget or think I've forgotten I can turn them off from anywhere.

I solved the door by adding a Yale lock so it automatically locks when I shut the door.

You don't need a formal diagnosis of OCD to have OCD!
OCD varies in how it presents in different people and the way it affects your day to day life.

You've noticed you have an obsessive compulsive trait so now go seek the info from professionals in how to manage it.

Yes I also do this constantly. Even though I know damn well it's locked - I have to go back and check.

My husband also has form for leaving doors unlocked which does not help my anxiety!

Would deffo go to GP.

Focus on how much the thoughts /images disrupt your lifr

Thanks everyone so much - some really lovely supportive messages and also good to know I’m not alone. I am going to try some of the tactics people have listed here and see if they help and if not I’ll accept I need to see someone professional!

I do try the ‘it’s locked’ but I find I don’t trust that so maybe using a random word or the taking a photo would help.

The thing is I have never ever ever left the house unlocked and gone out and neither has DP. I’ve left it unlocked by accident while being in the house but never gone to bed without checking it. So it’s not even based on a reaction to something that has happened!

What a pp said about ‘I would rather be burgled than live like this’ is great and I think would help give me a reality check - the worst case is some stuff gets stolen (which is insured!)

As someone else said the fact I see constant Facebook posts about dodgy people hanging around and burglaries probably makes it way worse but that’s a different story (we are planning to move somewhere else!)

Also WHY as humans is this so scarily common?? Why do our brains do this to us? Yet some people are just like ‘meh off I go!!’

I had the same 15 years ago during a period of extreme stress. What helped was that after I locked the door I said out loud "I hereby declare this door to be locked". I felt like an idiot first, but it worked. I only had to do it for a bit more than a week.

I turn the key, take them out, pull the handle to check the door is locked, it makes the noise and I can’t move the handle, before putting keys in my right pocket.

Iron gets used where the iron board is and returned to the cupboard where the iron is stored, and I have a lidded box for hair stuff and my straighteners stay in that, I always use it away from where it is stored and put it away after use so know it is turned off.

You are definitely not alone.