To think I have a problem or is anyone else like this?

[Insightfulusername]

I am so worried every time I leave the house that I haven’t locked it. I have to go back and check at least a few times before I drive to work and even today I had to force myself to just drive off even though I had checked probably three times already! Is anyone else like this? I’m the same about locking the door at night as well, particularly if I’m on my own overnight.

If I’m with someone else and they can also check it or they’ve locked it up, I’m fine with that, almost like if it’s someone else’s action I trust it!

I know it’s silly and it’s very unlikely I won’t have locked the door or can’t remember having not locked it etc. but it makes me dread leaving the house as I know I’ll have that few minutes of stress! I start thinking about how awful it would be if someone broke in and what would happen.

Any tips?? I’m not calling myself ‘OCD’ as I know that’s a serious disorder and I don’t want to make light of it but I would love to know if I’m not alone and more importantly, if anyone has any tips for just getting over it and leaving the house without worrying!

My partner has OCD and has to check any locked door (home, car, work, even on an Xbox game where we build bases he has to log back in to check he shut the doors). He also has a routine he does (not in the game) with tapping the door or car window and clicking his fingers.

It seems to be the only type of thing he obsesses about and it does drive him to distraction but he manages. We have a good laugh about it. I have different manifestations of OCD and we tease each other gently. Luckily neither of us have done anything crazy to facilitate our habits but mine can be a source of real distress if I'm more stressed than usual.

Look at your hands while locking it and say aloud, "the door is now locked". Sounds silly but it helps.

Not me but my husband.

It's painful. I know go and sit in he car with the kids knowing full well it will be another 20 minutes before we can leave.

There is no point in me locking anything / closing windows etc as he would still have to check it several times anyway.

I've never had this problem with my own door, but I do if I'm looking after animals for other people. Have been known to retrace 100 m or more just to check I've locked the front door, and that's after locking and unlocking to go and check the back door is locked.

OP I nearly started a thread like this recently with regards to hob anxiety, it's driving me barking! Quite often I have to stop myself from going back to the house / getting out of bed even when I know I haven't used the hob that day I've never had to check multiple times though, that sounds exhausting. For me it started because a couple of times I have left the hob on - for some reason I went through an extremely silly period of turning it down to the lowest flame rather than turning it off, I think it was if pasta was about to bubble over or something, then I'd get distracted by draining it / doing other stuff, and since the flame wasn't really visible or making a noise I'd just clean forget. I think I only did it two or three times, but once husband texted me to say I'd done it and left the house, which made it a thousand times worse. So mine has a legitimate basis, but I think legitimate anxiety has latched onto other anxiety and blown out of all proportion.

My Dad used to do the door-locked thing when I was little, we'd often get to the end of the street and have to turn back. I started saying to him "YOU'RE LOCKING THE DOOR RIGHT NOW!" whenever we left he house together.

mary I'm intrigued by the underactive thyroid idea - can you tell me more?

OP that blaming yourself for a bad thing that you think will happen if you don't complete your ritual was a massive part of my therapy. If it's starting to become an issue in your life or you're finding it distressing to keep checking and shoulder the perceived responsibility, look at a therapy referral. In my area you can self refer on the NHS. It honestly changed my life.

Dp does this. He'll check every single door and window inside the house, then check the outside of the windows and doors too. He locks the Front door and checks it a dozen times. He's made himself late numerous times.

Most of the doors and windows he checks haven't been opened in ages - but sometimes he'll open/unlock them to check they aren't 'faulty' and lock them again. Then check them again...

I have had to stop him locking my front door and then leaning his 13 stone against it several times, with force, to check that the latch is holding! Not if you keep forcing it and break the fucking latch, mate!

You are not alone, OP.

I started doing this and realised it was getting out of control. Luckily I caught myself early enough that I could control it without too much stress by forcing myself to walk away. FWIW never, ever did I go back and find the door unlocked.

I imagine if I hadn't stopped myself there would now be a lengthy list of things to check... and recheck. Try, OP, and if it plays on your mind too much then please visit your GP and ask for some help. As someone else posted. I believe it is a symptom of other stresses in your life.

I have to check that I have my keys several times before I'm convinced that I have them - it's the fear of locking myself out and I don't know why I'm so worried about it. I find it is worse if I'm tired or stressed. I don't worry particularly about anything else.

Use your phone to record (video/voice) yourself locking the door.

I have had times when I've been like this about various things. Solution was to write down somewhere (or even just a tick) that I'd done it, so I could refer back to it if I became anxious. It also worked for a close friend who had a similar thing about leaving the iron on...

This is all so helpful! I have considered CBT to be honest as I am a life long worrier and I know I catastrophise things so this is just an extension of that I suppose. It doesn’t help that DP is bad as well so as a combination we probably make each other worse. I’ve always been like it even as a child, I used to feel I had to ‘confess’ things (not in a religious way!) or something bad would happen. I’ve never had any sort of therapy or anything, never even mentioned anxiety or similar to GP. I have been going through an incredibly stressful time at work so I am sure that probably makes it worse as I don’t trust myself to have done something as my mind is racing about other things.

How do you even go about explaining something like that to a GP?

when it becoming something that overspills into you other parts of your day.like your fears monting and you thinking about it enough to post it geerally is moving to ocd hun.and its a devastating illness if its allowed to spiral.look at some people on here.it starts with the door.then it oo ill just check the hob too.ooff the straighteners? and it become that ingrained beahviour and can then quickly spiral and link to other parts of ur life and day and emotions.
and i think it was very kind of you to put what you did about ocd and recognise that.but for you to be feeling the terror you are i would say yours is pretty serious eh.and you desrve the compassion and help with that.it cant be nice for you.and im sorry for that.
what would happen in a day if you didnt do it?would you try it?
did it start after something happened or you were feeling a certain way
does it get worse or harder to leave on bad emotional days?
if it distressing you then get help if you can.
there are some great tips on ehre from people.but you shouldnt and dont have to live with it.

just read you update.looks to me deffinitaly ocd hun.and that ISNT bad thing.its a terrible terrible illness and isnt just cleaning or moving or ordering etc.its the confessing and not trust and guilt and worrying and checking and thinking bad will happen if you dont do or think stuff,its compulsions and ways to cope with thoughts.and its horrid.im sorry youve felt like this for so long.
could you print off ur first post and then you update.this would help them and then expand from there?

A ring doorbell has combatted this for me. I pick up and then watch myself lock up on the ring and feel confident that all is well! Could be worth a try!

I lock up even!

I'm another one with occasional hob anxiety and I agree with saying aloud "I have checked this and it's fine". I can remember verbalising it even when I can't remember if I've physically done the checking.

You can buy CBT workbooks to tackle OCD - I haven't tried it myself as it's just a minor and infrequent tic on my part, but I believe that CBT techniques can be very efficient to deal with this.

Yes i do worry about it but i double check and then try and forget it. I dont have icd but since i have had kids i do worry more. I worry i left the hib and iron on and not locked the door even if i havent used them. I also unplug all sockets like chargers etc. Because i worry about them over heating but things like fridge tv toaster etc i dont think twice about.

I think it can be quite normal but if its affecting you this much maybe speak to your gp x

After my DH died I became ultra home security-conscious, fearful would be a better word, though not to the extent you describe, OP. I'm better now, and you get better soon.

I do this with hair straighteners but I did actually leave them on once and they burnt a hole in the carpet.

I am like this if my kids are still inside (otherwise I just drive off!) I have found that if I talk to myself out loud it helps. So I lock the door, and as I "test" it by pushing down the handle I say "I am testing the door thoroughly" and try and push the handle down. As I get in the car I say "I have tested the door so it's fine". It only "works" if I do it out loud but it puts my mind at rest that I have done it.

Hello, I understand your anxiety. These things helped me.
I took a photo (so there is a date stamp and time) every time I left the house. Really helps curb the anxiety.
I also had a checklist in my notes on my phone, dated today, and I would put a'tick' after I had done the things I was anxious about.
I hope these techniques can assist your

Thank you for this thread it has been helpful for me because I'm exactly like this.

I cannot enjoy a day out of the house because I spend the first half of the day worrying and if I've done a tactic to remember the door I will stress over what else it could be.

I do think it's partly due to the constant fear of crimes. Our local Facebook page has posts about break in's and burglary daily so it's at the front of my mind that I'm responsible for securing the house/not setting it on fire etc.

Just explain it like you have here - GP’s are people too and don’t need any special explanation 🌷

I am quite surprised so many people do/feel the same. Obviously it shouldn’t be surprising, I just felt a bit alone with it.

I have driven home quite a few times to check the oven, front door and once or twice the iron. I inadvertently solved the iron issue, I just don’t use it anymore 🤣.

Because it was driving me batshit and because I was worried it would keep getting worse I found a few things that help me.

My oven/hob are old electric ones and I worry I have left them on - so I turn them off then think about something specific to the day, something like ‘Swimming after school I’m turning the oven off then picking up the swimming bags’

The new kitchen is going in soon and I won’t worry about the oven and the hob automatically turns off after a set time. That’ll help loads.

Front door ‘slam locks’ but I double lock it with the key. I just need to remind myself that single locked is fine.

Ground floor windows I do similar to the oven.

I’m busy and stressed, I do all the locking up on ‘auto’, I know I do so I know I shouldn’t worry about it, but I do, so I do this to stop me stressing 🙄🤷🏻‍♀️

This is me. I lock the door, press the doorbell surround, check the door and do the whole routine two more times so I've checked the door three times. I still panic and I usually look at the door to make sure it's shut before I drive away. It's ridiculous but I've been known to drive back just to check. I hate myself for it