To think I have a problem or is anyone else like this?

[Insightfulusername]

I am so worried every time I leave the house that I haven’t locked it. I have to go back and check at least a few times before I drive to work and even today I had to force myself to just drive off even though I had checked probably three times already! Is anyone else like this? I’m the same about locking the door at night as well, particularly if I’m on my own overnight.

If I’m with someone else and they can also check it or they’ve locked it up, I’m fine with that, almost like if it’s someone else’s action I trust it!

I know it’s silly and it’s very unlikely I won’t have locked the door or can’t remember having not locked it etc. but it makes me dread leaving the house as I know I’ll have that few minutes of stress! I start thinking about how awful it would be if someone broke in and what would happen.

Any tips?? I’m not calling myself ‘OCD’ as I know that’s a serious disorder and I don’t want to make light of it but I would love to know if I’m not alone and more importantly, if anyone has any tips for just getting over it and leaving the house without worrying!

I’m like this with the front door. I find it helps to stand there for a minute after I close it, check it is locked, then think slowly and deliberately to myself “I have locked the front door”.

Then I check I remembered my keys AFTER I’ve locked it which is a separate issue due to my own stupidity.

I’m the same with doors and making sure the hob is off - it sounds silly but i push my nail into my hand - not so it hurts but so it leaves a temporary indent so i can look at it and know I’ve checked and not have to go back. I’m ok then once I’ve driven off.

Yes I do this too, it's a horrible feeling! Also exactly the same in that if somebody else checks I trust them completely. It goes through phases with me, the more stressed I am the more I feel the need to check things. As difficult as it is, try not to give in to the compulsion to check as it sort of cements in your head that you needed to check in the first place and the cycle just continues. Feel your frustration, it will get better :) xxx

I do this, it's part of my OCD. I knock on the lock 5 times when I've locked it so I remember that I've done it

The phrase that jumped out at me, OP, was "dread leaving the house".
That sounds upsetting. I really agree with pp that you should see the GP who may refer you to someone helpful.
If something is taking over your thoughts and making you experience feelings of dread then YADNBU to seek help.

Yes - only front door though, and only leaving the house, never locking up at night. Always have been. I've been known to drive back and check a couple of times (but never more than 2 miles).

Yes, I was like this about leaving straighteners on, locking the door, leaving windows open. It got to the point where I’d take a taxi home just to check halfway through a night out.

Once I had kids, it just stopped. No idea why as I’d been like that for years!

I do this - to combat it, I think Of a silly word as I’m checking it’s locked, for example ‘beans’. Then when I worry if it’s locked or not during the day, I can assure myself it is because I know I said a ridiculous word at the same time. Usually a different word every day so I know it wasn’t yesterday’s ‘word’. Sounds ludicrous but works for me!

You are far from alone in this one!
I have a friend that takes photos of herself locking the doors, turning off switches etc or if she’s feeling really stressed she will video it. Helps her only do things once as she can check while out.

I get like this with doors, hobs and straighteners. Like others I’ve found I need to remember something significant while I’m doing it so I can recall it when I start to panic on my way to work so when it’s the door I’ll look at what car is passing and remember say red wagon, when I’m doing my straighteners I’ll listen to what song is playing so I can think of that. It’s made me a whole lot better and I only chevk the door twice now

I do this at night, check the door is locked at least three times before I go to bed, ok when leaving the house now though but I used to double check previously. I am not ocd but I do live alone so maybe a little insecure.

I'm the same with front door/iron/straighteners. I obsessively checked is submitted the school application about twenty times by logging out and in and had to take photos to prove it to myself so I didn't keep doing it. It's definitely an anxiety thing as I'm worried to worry about it if that makes sense!

This isn't normal no OP, could be developing OCD or anxiety. Please get help.

I do worry about the door. I have turned back when going away and driven several hours home to check the door only to find I had indeed locked it. However I've also come back from town to find not only the door unlocked but actually open. So I do have a habit of wandering off not locking the door (sometimes not shutting it properly).

I used to be a bit like this only it was worrying that I hadn’t turned things (iron/straighteners) off. I eventually realised it only happened when I was going to places I didn’t want to go. It never happened when I was enthusiastic about my destination. I ‘solved’ it by taking a photo of the unplugged appliances before I left the house so I had time stamped evidence I had done it on my phone. I also dumped the BF whose house I had been visiting as I realised I had a lot of underlying doubts and anxiety about him.

This worked for me as I just had a bit of low level anxiety rather than a serious issue. I recommended doing the same to my cousin who used to worry that she hadn’t locked up the shop she was working in and it didn’t help her at all. It turned out she was suffering with ‘proper’ OCD which took a long while to treat.

I have got increasingly anxious with the peri menopause. We have an electronic garage door. At least once a week I loop back to drive past the house to make sure I closed the door. But mine is v specifically linked to my age, sadly.

I'm like this (front door and straighteners on way out of house only) - and I partly put it down to having done these things so many times, I can't remember if I've done it this time, iykwim - and not being mindful as I do things (ie rushing/getting everything ready to head out). I think of myself as generally quite anxious, but not OCD. What I find helps if looking down at what I'm wearing and making a mindful note - I am checking the straighteners now, wearing my blue linen skirt and my red pumps for example. Then when the panic sets in half way down the street, I can look and what I'm wearing and reassure myself. I have often ended up turning the car round and having to go back to check if I haven't done that (& checking the door handle multiple times....)

I'm similar to others - checking front and back door, and that the hob/iron arc are off. If we all go out together DH tends to lock and I'll ask just as we set off "Is everything locked and turned off?" So I'm also more trusting of others! w

I've had phases where I've felt it's worse, and I do need to allow a bit of time for leaving the house so I can check. I can be prone to anxiety and I do think it's more that than an OCD thing. A colleague at work is similar too, if we are the last two leaving the office there's lots of checking everything is locked away and windows shut etc!

Some of the tricks others have mentioned do help, and while I'll pull on the front door maybe 20 times to check it, I'll note how many times I've done that and can feel the door handle on my hand. Once I've made it off the driveway I rarely need to go back and don't find I worry about it once I'm on my way and getting on with my day.

Thanks everyone for the responses- some really interesting tips like using a random word you’ll definitely remember! Once I’ve walked or driven off it goes very quickly - it’s just those few minutes beforehand!

‘Dread’ was probably a strong word - it doesn’t stop me going out but I feel stupid in the lead up to leaving as I know I’ll have to force myself to not be so stupid!

When I had a ‘slam shut’ door I was ok as obviously you don’t have the responsibility of locking it!

It’s definitely got worse since living with DP as he’s bad with it as well so it has probably rubbed off on me when I’m already an anxious person but I remember even as a teenager having to get my driving instructor to drive me back home so I could check I had locked my parents’ house!

I have diagnosed OCD and when I'm having a flare up I will do exactly this. Its under control at the moment so I'm not checking in this way. Why do you do it? What do you think the consequences of you only checking once would be? I convince myself that if I don't check 5 times someone will break in and kill my family or steal all of our possessions and it will be my fault. Through therapy I know that this is 'magical thinking' and that actually its OK to just lock the door and walk away.

Also i’m only 31 so I hope it is not age related or menopause!!

I have OCD and this is very classic. It's normally not about the door being locked though - it's about something else you can't control in your life (health in my case) and by being in control of something else you stop something 'bad' happening if that makes sense? Are you worried about something else OP? Does it ramp up when you're a bit more stressed?

With locking the door I make a very conscious effort to lock the door slowly and then I take a mental picture of myself doing it. I get in the car and look at the door to see again it's locked. Tell myself it's done. It's easier said than done though as sometimes your mind starts to play tricks and tell you it was yesterday not today etc!

If you feel it getting out of control I would suggest some CBT. In some areas you would need to go to the GP in others you can self refer.

GMtoBe my main concern is that someone will break in and steal things, particularly DP’s things and it will be all my fault!!

I get a bit like this with some things and find it useful to actually say out loud ‘ I’ve locked the door’ or ‘ I’ve turned off the iron’ of whatever it is.

Yes, this works for me too.

I do this but only in the morning for the school run - I now say ‘banana’ to DD once I’ve checked it so that I know I’ve done it and she can tell me not to be silly and turn around to check it.

Scarily, it wasn’t shut a couple of weeks ago but it looked it. Something had happened with the hinges and it had bounced itself out of the lock. But in the seven years of me panicking it’s not shut this is the only time it’s happened.