Not an AIBU but I've never posted before and need as much advice as possible.
Will try not to drip feed but thank you for reading in advance. My son is 11. He is autistic in a mainstream school. He is is high functioning with low functioning autism. Physically incredible but socially struggles.
He is being badly bullied in his school. For months lots of his classmates have bullied him and then recruited more bullies. This went on for 3 months and weekly I would be in telling his teacher and her response was always 'I'll have a word' regardless of severity. He had no friends, he was broken. He was punched repeatedly, his stuff broken/stolen, slammed into walls. One time a boy pushed him and my DS pushed him back and only my son was in trouble. The teacher would let them get away with anything (she has been very open about her lack of punishments for the bullies and also big punishments from my son).
Here goes the main bulk of my sadness: these are all teachers. Will change names.
Teachers incidents:
1. DS had problems on the school playground with football and struggled socially to play the game properly. The SENCO (who is a cunt) put in place he can have 10mins each week with the ball alone to practice. He went and asked the playground staff (year 5 teaching assistant) if he could have the ball and the teacher repeated what he said louder and in a mocking ‘retarded’ voice in front of all his bullies. This teacher has admitted this 🙄🙄 and when I informed Mrs W (DSs actual teacher) she ‘spoke’ to this teacher but did not escalate it to the headteacher so the headteacher was unaware until I told her about it and DS is still yet to get an apology from this teacher. Headteacher has said it has now been adequately dealt with.
2. Mrs W (DS teacher) I used to have a good relationship with and over the 3 months of so many of his class bullying him I spoke to her about it and got the response of ‘oh I didn’t know, I’ll speak to them’ - regardless of situation, punching, stealing. SEN, bullying policy is to escalate physical or repeated matters, this was not the case. Parents to be updated - didn’t happen. Victim to have confidence building - didn’t happen. Bully to be adequately punished - all she did was speak to the parents at school pick up. Her words 🙄. So after 3 months of her not doing anything DS had nothing left and that’s when I went to the headteacher and Mrs W has told no one anything about it all when it should have been escalated so DS was still being bullied and no one being punished. One kid pushed him, DS pushed him back and only DS was punished. So this teacher is happy to punish DS and no one else. This teacher was NOT happy I escalated it and we had it out on the playground - I quoted every policy and she admitted everything but saw nothing wrong in her actions. - she is still a cunt but will get to that in a bit.
3. So this was all 3 weeks ago and everyone was ‘intensely’ working to improve things. On Monday one of the kids grabbed him by the collar and threw him around, shouted in his face. Then DS told the on-duty playground attendant (his own TA) and the TA said he’d ‘keep an eye out’. No punishment, nothing, didn’t even check if DS was ok, no policy being followed at all! So then the kid that did this to DS then starts crying and telling everyone that DS told on him so now the ‘recruiting bullying’ starts again so he gets other kids in his face shouting at him. Obviously nothing happened and I had to go into school and tell the teacher and headteacher. Headteacher dealt with it and his teacher Mrs W told DS off for not telling her and I told her that he did tell her for 3 months and she did nothing! Funnily enough she didn’t like that. So teacher is still a cunt. DS did what he should of done and no protection from one TA and being told off for doing what he should have done by his own teacher
4. So today.... 🙄 Thursday afternoon he has this Spanish teacher who anytime anyone makes a noise he announces to the class ‘just a reminder if DS distracts anyone, talks to you or makes a noise, just ignore him’. He doesn’t do this to any other child and does this repeatedly each week or Thursday and Friday afternoons. Friday is ICT. This is the last straw. 4 teacher who he HAS to see not helping him, infact making it worse.
SENCO - oh boy - what an arse! One who doesn’t want an EHCP for a severely autistic boy in DDs class as it’s ‘a lot of work’. All the SEN parents hate her. DS was repeatedly (like 20-30 times A DAY!) bulled by one kid (KID R) and when it was brought to their attention (SENCO and headteacher) rather than punishing the bully and teaching them to be better they wanted to ‘rebuild’ the friendship in play therapy session. I then said ‘DS doesn’t want to do that as he doesn’t feel comfortable around KID R and has requested that he just stops bullying him’. To which the SENCO replied: ‘yes he said the same to me but I thought it would help’
🙄 WHAT THE FUCK. DS (victim) has expressed he doesn’t want to be put with the bully as he doesn’t believe he will stop and doesn’t feel comfortable and the SENCO was forcing that he does that!! Funnily enough DS was told that KID R is going through some ‘family struggles’ so they are giving him some extra chances!! my Ex destroyed DS for many years emotionally and physically and is never allowed near him again. If anyone has family struggles it’s him!!! 🤬🤬🤬