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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To have left him stuck in the cellar?

534 replies

FreddysTash · 02/05/2019 14:13

We have a new starter at work who is a pain in the arse. He’s shadowing me and constantly disappears and is always off exploring rather than doing what he should be doing. This morning we were in the office and he asked me where he should put clinical waste. I told him we put it in the cellar but that we didn’t have time to do it now as we had to go out of office. He said he’d be quick. I said no because it takes ages to get down there, he’d need codes for the lift down there, and two different doors. He grabbed a pen and paper and asked me for the codes. Getting frustrated I wrote down the codes and told him to be really quick and off he goes.

15 minutes later he’s still not back so I check time and decide if he isn’t back by half past I’d do without him. Half past came so I packed up and headed to my car. I’d just set off when I got a frantic phone saying he was stuck in one of the rooms in the cellar. I told him to repeat the code he had and it was right so I said he’d just have to keep trying. I drove off. 5 minutes later he started ringing again. I ignored it. All in all 4 missed calls. I rang him back and he admitted he was in a different room and that’s why the code wasn’t working. I told him I’d be back at lunch. It was 9.45 at the time. He started getting irate saying it stunk down there, it was freezing, pitch black and the wind was hammering on the fire doors. I left him until 11. AIBU as he got stuck because he went where he wasn’t supposed to go?

OP posts:
Halloumimuffin · 02/05/2019 15:24

Also I don't see why he'd be so reluctant to message someone else. He has proof you let him down there, quite easy to say he got lost.

TheGrey1houndSpeaks · 02/05/2019 15:24

Maybe the poor sod is trying to stay away from op! Who could blame him?

adaline · 02/05/2019 15:25

Are you sure a newbie that you're still training is allowed to dispose of clinical waste?

Why on earth did you give him the codes in the first place? That was massively irresponsible.

Nicknacky · 02/05/2019 15:26

Even with your justification, it was an appalling thing to do. You knew he was there and stuck.

TheInvestigator · 02/05/2019 15:28

So he put the waste in the room it was meant to go in? And then he went walking around the other rooms and got stuck? Is that what happened?

And he's already been given a warning for going wandering into rooms that have nothing to do with his job?

You need to schedule a meeting with him to discuss all this.

ThePerturbedPenguin · 02/05/2019 15:28

With the latest update, I just think hahahaha what an idiot then! He could have got out but didn’t want to embarrass himself. There were fire doors etc so perfectly safe. He should have listened in the first place and hopefully he will learn a lesson!

ThePerturbedPenguin · 02/05/2019 15:29

He wasn’t stuck, he could have easily contacted someone else!!

Spaghetticarbanana · 02/05/2019 15:29

OP didn't lock the guy in a cellar, she's not the villain in a Disney movie ffs.
Bloody rediculous that people are saying giving someone the codes for an authorised room makes it OP's fault when this guy decides to arse about, ending up locked in a room he had no business being in! Then refusing to contact anyone in the office but because he didn't want to get in trouble, demanding she returns to let him out!
What about this man's responsibility for his actions?

GraceMarks · 02/05/2019 15:31

His wish to avoid a bollocking will probably mean he won't report you, so I'm not sure why you're asking if YABU? If he'd said he was going to complain I could understand you trying to gauge general opinion, but you clearly don't think you did anything wrong, so why bother asking? Perhaps you're taken aback by how many people seem to disagree with you.

Socksey · 02/05/2019 15:31

If the OP was the only one who could let him out etc then most of the comments on being a bully would apply.... but ... effectively... that person has chosen to stay locked in by not contacting anyone else as they don't want a telling off.
OP was tight for time when he went off to do a job that didn't need to be done then and obviously didn't have time to go looking for the person who has chosen not to be where they were supposed to be.
This locked in person has chosen to stay there without water or toilet for 2 hours ... not been locked in for a week and their source of anxiety is being found where they shouldn't be .... otherwise they could have called someone else to let them out when OP couldn't wait for them any longer...
Hardly bullying ... but perhaps not ideal.... on the other hand that person has already been told off for doing this before... andvshould we really expect the OP to physically restrain someone who has decided they know better?

Thatdilemma · 02/05/2019 15:32

'aidelmaidel

Sounds fair enough. He didn't listen to instructions, he went where he shouldn't have, he knew damn well he shouldn't have, he would have been safe if there'd been a fire, and you're busy--serves him bloody well right.'

That would all be fine if the op hadn't given up and given him the codes.
If you are supervising someone you say no sorry we will have to do it when we get back and that's that.
Anything above that in regards to him wondering off and not listening and you speak to the next in command.
The op GAVE him permission by giving him the codes. It's easy to end up in a wrong room in clinical places or many places.

I'm wondering if op was meant to take him out with her and didn't want to.

I don't think he will report as he will be worried about losing his job seeing people are fighting for work at the moment but I hope he does because the OP won't look good about this.

Iwrotethissongfor · 02/05/2019 15:32

YABU.

If he was doing the wrong thing in taking the clinical waste to the basement then you shouldn’t have said so and not given him the codes. IMO you have behaved inappropriately and unprofessionally. You have also broken two aspects of my employer’s policy re codes for restricted areas, that is don’t write them down and don’t say them over the phone.

choosingchilli · 02/05/2019 15:32

Well that's a bit of a drip feed...

alligatorsmile · 02/05/2019 15:33

How do you know he definitely has contact details for other colleagues?

Yes he's a complete idiot and quite possibly a liability and maybe this isn't the job for him. But thinking he deserves this is disgusting.

LilQueenie · 02/05/2019 15:33

constantly disappears and is always off exploring rather than doing what he should be doing.

He got what he deserved. You did tell him not to go and when he had the codes he took it upon himself to go anyway.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 02/05/2019 15:34

Addition info useful OP but I still don't understand why you'd give him the codes? It doesn't exactly cover you in glory.

Sparklingbrook · 02/05/2019 15:34

I am assuming the OP isn't this person's manager?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 02/05/2019 15:35

OP didn't lock the guy in a cellar, she's not the villain in a Disney movie ffs. Erm, she knowingly left a colleague in a precarious situation and thinks she is cool and amusing!

Doesn't matter how new he is, she is the instyrument of his having been locked in, as she gave him the access codes and then knowingly left him there!

And what would you do in that scenario, if you were him? I can see why he would want her to return and let him out... he may have wanted to avoid a whole heap of embarrassment, maybe even a mark against him that could prevent him being taken on permanently.

Her actions, by her own account, were not pleasant! She fully intended to humiliate him, calling it anything else is to forgive her quite a serious breach pf professional etiquette and, if he were so inclined could be claimed as false imprisonment - she chose to leave him there for 2+ hours!

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 02/05/2019 15:36

This. He was new ffs. What if there was a fire, or he had a medical problem. Or even if he needed the toilet? I'd say he had grounds to make a formal complaint about you. Bullying in the workplace is not funny

I agree,it's awful behaviour.

alligatorsmile · 02/05/2019 15:37

What about this man's responsibility for his actions?

He should face consequences for his actions. Those consequences should be in the line of verbal warning, written warning, possibly firing him. They should NOT be in the line of a physical punishment or humiliation.

Tavannach · 02/05/2019 15:38

If you're struggling with why this is bullying behaviour imagine the OP as a man and the trainee as a woman.

HillRunner · 02/05/2019 15:39

You did tell him not to go and when he had the codes he took it upon himself to go anyway.

The OP gave him the codes and gave him permission to go! She didn't have to do that but she did. It was her call, not his!

PotatoesDieInHotCars · 02/05/2019 15:40

You gave him permission to go...then purposely left him behind? You didn't know why he wasn't back. He could have been lying injured somewhere in a dark basement he'd never been in before. Did you at least tell someone else in the building where he was before you left?

Sparklingbrook · 02/05/2019 15:41

I think after the drip feed update that both the man and the OP should face consequences.

ginghamtablecloths · 02/05/2019 15:43

He sounds like a major PITA but there are better and more professional ways of dealing with this. I wonder if he has a problem with following instructions. Someone needs to remind him of boundaries - literally.

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