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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To have left him stuck in the cellar?

534 replies

FreddysTash · 02/05/2019 14:13

We have a new starter at work who is a pain in the arse. He’s shadowing me and constantly disappears and is always off exploring rather than doing what he should be doing. This morning we were in the office and he asked me where he should put clinical waste. I told him we put it in the cellar but that we didn’t have time to do it now as we had to go out of office. He said he’d be quick. I said no because it takes ages to get down there, he’d need codes for the lift down there, and two different doors. He grabbed a pen and paper and asked me for the codes. Getting frustrated I wrote down the codes and told him to be really quick and off he goes.

15 minutes later he’s still not back so I check time and decide if he isn’t back by half past I’d do without him. Half past came so I packed up and headed to my car. I’d just set off when I got a frantic phone saying he was stuck in one of the rooms in the cellar. I told him to repeat the code he had and it was right so I said he’d just have to keep trying. I drove off. 5 minutes later he started ringing again. I ignored it. All in all 4 missed calls. I rang him back and he admitted he was in a different room and that’s why the code wasn’t working. I told him I’d be back at lunch. It was 9.45 at the time. He started getting irate saying it stunk down there, it was freezing, pitch black and the wind was hammering on the fire doors. I left him until 11. AIBU as he got stuck because he went where he wasn’t supposed to go?

OP posts:
SamSoSer · 04/05/2019 08:16

Unreasonable, unprofessional and unpleasant.
If he makes a complaint, which he should, you think it will be ok?
Him being nosey and not where he was supposed to be is not a good reason for you to leave him there.

Dana28 · 04/05/2019 08:21

Why isn't the clinical waste put in clinical waste bins outside?*surely Putting it in the cellar means handling it twice needlessly

bethy15 · 04/05/2019 08:33

If you read the thread she didn’t send him down there she told him not to go down as they didn’t have time. He asked again, she said no.

And if you read the thread after saying no she then said OK, gave him the codes and told him to be quick. So she sent him down there.

If she really didn't want him to go, don't give the codes at all and say they are leaving.

She sent him down with the codes, thereby sending him down there.

Aridane · 04/05/2019 08:34

It’s not her responsibility to supervise another adult

Well- that is precisely her responsibility as his manager!

TheGrey1houndSpeaks · 04/05/2019 10:03

He is a menace and a danger to others. Eh?? Op is the one who sniggered about leaving him stuck in the cellar for two hours Confused

swingofthings · 04/05/2019 10:08

Some responses here are so immature, it's shocking. This is not the s hool playground. This is the workplace where designated people have responsibilities for others and that includes personal responsibility.

Managers will come across irritating employees all the time, dealing with them professionally is part of the reason why they are paid more.

OP has clearly no appreciation that if something had happened to him, she would most likely have been made responsible, not just at work but legally. If he'd had a seizure and died, she would most likely be contemplating jail, because she was designated to be responsible for him. How can any person managing staff not comprehend this is beyond me.

cms1972 · 04/05/2019 10:33

I once had a new employee shadowing me, she drove me CRAZY. Alarm would go off, I would say "Can you get that?" & 10mins later alarm still going. So I'd grit my teeth, leave my work, go off to check on her & there she'd be, doing something completely different.

That's when you make a decision. Do I lock her in the basement for hours, or do I speak to her directly? I spoke to her directly. Then she went around telling everyone, "cms hates me". So then I wrote a report.
The bit where Freddy went wrong was giving him the codes. What Freddy can reflect on now is, "Why was I not assertive enough? How can I be more assertive in future?"

Because frankly Freddy can't write a report now. Without coming out of it rather badly.

TigerTooth · 04/05/2019 13:13

OP - I actually love you.

TigerTooth · 04/05/2019 13:15
Jaspermcsween · 04/05/2019 13:20

You are a nasty piece of work, OP .
Coming on here to smirk about this.

Yes I’ve RTFT

LaMarschallin · 04/05/2019 13:27

I've RTFT too and really can't understand why anybody would think the OP's actions were reasonable. I'm sure anybody dealing with people shadowing them have come across a fair amount of what they coughIcough have perceived to be idiots.
Either try to educate them or explain in your appraisal of them why they come across as idiots (translated into professional speak).
Don't play stupid games like this. That really is idiotic.

TatianaLarina · 04/05/2019 13:57

And if you read the thread after saying no she then said OK, gave him the codes and told him to be quick. So she sent him down there.

Nope. She didn’t send him down there she just stopped blocking from going down as he’s an adult with free will.

greeneyedlulu · 04/05/2019 13:58

Really bitchy, unprofessional thing to do, you could have phoned someone at the office to let him out at the very least! I do wonder what would the responses be if a male manager did this to a female member of staff though!

TatianaLarina · 04/05/2019 14:00

Well- that is precisely her responsibility as his manager!

A manager manages. Not supervise his every move as if he were child.

BoneyBackJefferson · 04/05/2019 14:06

TatianaLarina

At no point did the OP have to give him the codes.

marvellousnightforamooncup · 04/05/2019 14:08

I agree with PP that you failed on this one OP. You weren't assertive enough to stop him, you gave him the codes then you knowingly left him in the cellar. If something happened you would surely be disciplined for this.

Yes, the guy was a twat, but you were put in charge of said twat to teach him and manage him while he shadowed you.

And if you read the thread after saying no she then said OK, gave him the codes and told him to be quick. So she sent him down there.

Nope. She didn’t send him down there she just stopped blocking from going down as he’s an adult with free will.

She should have said "no, I'm not giving you the codes as we don't have time. I will take you down later" even if she had to tell him a hundred times. She had the power to stop him by not giving the codes. As soon as she gave them out she was as good as approving his behaviour.

TatianaLarina · 04/05/2019 14:10

No but it’s tricky repeatedly refusing a colleague, it would be treating him like child, which it turns out he is.

Giving him the codes doesn’t shift the responsibility onto OP for his actions, he should be responsible for himself. You have to be able to trust work colleagues and know they are responsible, this man clearly isn’t.

BoneyBackJefferson · 04/05/2019 14:23

TatianaLarina

the OP is responsible for him because its part of her job.

TatianaLarina · 04/05/2019 14:31

It’s not adult workers’ job to police colleagues’ every move, nor is it feasible. This man had already been bollocked earlier in the week for his irresponsible behaviour. He’s not going to hold on to his job long if this continues.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 04/05/2019 14:33

it’s not adult workers’ job to police colleagues’ every move, nor is it feasible

Sorry but thats management its part of her job yes

ginghamtablecloths · 04/05/2019 14:37

Neither of you come out of this with any credit, do you? You shouldn't have given him the codes, he shouldn't have gone into the wrong room, etc etc, tit for tat.

When Monday comes I hope you two have a proper talk, that is if he turns up, Freddy. Remind him that he is on probation and could lose his job if his behaviour continues in this manner.

Irritating he may be, but if your behaviour doesn't improve you will also find yourself at the Jobcentre.

Mummadeeze · 04/05/2019 14:39

It sounds like he was trying to be extra helpful by quickly completing a job before you left the office. He is new and got it wrong. You were unbelievably cruel to leave him trapped in a dark cellar. If I was him I would make a complaint to HR about you. You sound really unpleasant to be honest no matter how much he was annoying you.

BoneyBackJefferson · 04/05/2019 15:08

TatianaLarina
It’s not adult workers’ job to police colleagues’ every move, nor is it feasible.

He was shadowing her, he is her responsibility.

ThisIsMyID · 04/05/2019 15:26

What if there'd been a fire? Did anyone else known he was trapped down there.

DecomposingComposers · 04/05/2019 15:35

Giving him the codes doesn’t shift the responsibility onto OP for his actions, he should be responsible for himself. You have to be able to trust work colleagues and know they are responsible, this man clearly isn’t.

That's right. The man is responsible for his actions and OP is responsible for hers namely going off site and knowingly leaving a colleague trapped somewhere.

And yes, trust is very important and the OP has shown that her colleagues can't trust her to behave professionally.

By her actions the OP has effectively hidden this man's behaviour. How can she now bring it up to management because she is going to have to admit her own failings too.

You might argue that she isn't responsible for another adult's behaviour but health and safety is the responsibility of everyone so the OP did have a responsibility to make sure that this employee was safe, whether she likes him or not or whether he's annoying or not.

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