To drink almost a bottle of wine everynight

[Mum21beauty]

I am not reliant on it . I just enjoy it every night though ...

Wasn't too sure how to respond to some comments . I guess it's a cry out for help as I'm too nervous to speak to someone I know.

You've done brilliantly for posting here, it's not easy to ask for help.

A pp mentioned Alan Carr's book. His easy way to stop smoking made quitting smoking really easy for me. I'd chain smoked for over 20 years and had tried everything to quit. His book changed my whole way of thinking about my nicotine addiction and his easy way to quit alcohol is the same type of approach it'll be worth a read.

I used the audiobook version to listen on a night over a few weeks and it changed my whole approach. Audible usually have a great introductory offer where you get the first book free so if there's an alcohol audio version it might be worth a go?

And there was me feeling guilty for having a small glass a night! One disease I don’t want to die from is pancreatic cancer. Drinking like that increases the risk significantly. No thanks!

It also increases your risk of dementia- not a great way to die.

Some of you guys eating takeaway 4 nights a week or beans on toast for dinner but talking shit about a wine bottle

Liver disease is terrifying because it can get very serious before people resort to medical help.
DH spent the night in the HDU on a cardiac monitor a few years ago and I spent the most of the night with him. The man in the adjacent bay was separated only by a curtain. As DH was asleep and I wasn’t, I couldn’t help hearing what was going on. The staff were getting tests results back and examining the man over hours. At intervals Drs would ask similar questions about recent symptoms and lifestyle. They were persistent but not judgemental. Anyway, the poor man was evidently drinking excessively, more than he initially admitted to, who knows maybe more than he realised. He was showing signs of advanced liver failure. He started to panic a bit and to my horror, the doctors didn’t seem to have anything solid they could reassure him about. I got the impression there wasn’t much they could do. It was so hard to believe. He looked a bit yellow and unwell, but he sounded like a normal bloke in his fifties who’d felt unwell and gone to get to it sorted only to have a chasm open up beneath him.
I don’t think he’d had a clue. DH and I had exchanged a few words with him when we were admitted and he didn’t seem too worried.
Nearly a bottle a night on a regular basis is far too much. It really is best for your health to either cut right down or give it up entirely.

Pop along to your GP and have a chat. Have a blood test taken including one for your liver. I also drink too much (seems to run in our family) and it's been great to be able to talk to my GP and to know my liver is functioning normally. From that, the conversation has extended to Hubby so that is one ''monkey'' off my back. I buy low alcohol wine mostly these days, although it has been a challenge to find an enjoyable one. I bought a bottle of non-alcohol chardy not so long ago and to me, it tasted stale and flat (not that I'm a bubbles drinker either). I passed it along to Hubby and asked him what he thought, it was disgusting. So it's trial and error. A couple of weeks after being on low alc wine I tried my fav. full flavour/strength and boy could I feel the difference! So being on low alc wine has had positive influences for me. Some full strength brands are the worst for hangovers due to the sulphates and other additives in wine. Another thing to identify is when are you drinking. For me after chores are done and before dinner prep starts, its lovely to sit down and have a big cold glass of wine, 750mls doesn't go far. If you have something troubling you, try and sort it out or ask for help. Try and start with an alcohol-free night as well, if you feel anxious about not having any in the house or such like, then you need to ask your Doctor for help. Good luck and please know you are not alone in this.

You're in a vicious circle with the alcohol. Alcohol drains vitamin B from your system, making you more easily stressed, while at the same time being the seeming cure.

I finally gave up a couple of years ago by taking large doses of Vitamin B complex to calm my nerves. Two weeks later I was involved in a major earthquake and was so glad I'd given up, because the stress would have made me a useless drunk.

I was drinking 2 large glasses every night for over a year. I couldn't remember the last time I had a night off.

So I decided to have a dry April. I've had one night where I drank at home over Easter and one night last week dh and I had a dc free evening in the city.

I've broken the habit and don't want to go back there. What I did was pull out my nicest wine glass, fill it with ice and sparkling water and sip on that.

It's totally replaced alcohol but I fear now I'm addicted to sparkling water and ice

The first 2 days of breaking the habit are the hardest, but you can do this!

I'm not reliant on it because if I was i would want it in the day and morning but I don't. It just relaxes me and takes my stresses away !

You have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

You don't have to want alcohol in the day or morning to be an alcoholic. You just need to have some form of psychological or emotional dependency on it. Which you do.

I guess it's a cry out for help as I'm too nervous to speak to someone I know.
Please reach out for help and support. There is loads out there.

Don't be discouraged by feelings of nervousness or anxiety as you contemplate a lifestyle change, or by despair if you waver once you embark on the journey to better ways of coping. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start again. Rome wasn't built in a day.

The important thing is to face this and try to change.

I was a big wine drinker, justified it as "work is stressful" so I deserve a glass of wine to de-stress, it's amazing how fast a glass of wine can turn into a bottle over an evening and DH would join me so it was social. I always thought "this isn't good for me" but put off actually doing anything to change,

I was diagnosed in March with breast cancer. Obviously I can't say my drinking caused my cancer but research definitely shows links and the thought that it played a part is hard to get out my mind. I'm not trying to scare you (and please, I don't need people piling in with "serves you right" comments) but for people who have a choice it might be time for a re-think.

@SnowsinWater handhold sweetie, no judgement! Please don't start the 'what if I hadn't' route. Keep your MH for journey ahead. x

@SnowsInWater - apologies for misspelling your username in previous post.

Find other ways to relax.

It's habit that can be broken.

Do other things. Even go to bed early to make sure you do something different to drinking wine.

A bottle a night is going to leave you feeling ropey the next day and not living your best.

You are an alcoholic.
That is way too much drinking.
Please get some help.

I used to do this. I left my ex and suddenly didn’t feel I needed the wine! I’m not suggesting you leave your partner btw.

Have to back @patroclus here. My father died of internal bleeding through alcoholism. He would have exactly said what you said, about 20 years before he died. He did then start to need it in the mornings. He NEVER would have predicted that...he was hugely successful, a man who coped with everything. But then...he didn't. Alcoholism progresses. You are reliant. This is serious. I loved alcohol...I drank too much...I am teetotal now and bloody tired of people going on about it tbh. Not everyone can drink safely. You can't, OP, what you are drinking is not ok and anyone comparing it to diet fizxy drinks or fast food is a dick trying to minimise something that will, without doubt, be STOPPING you coping with your work stress... TAKING AWAY some enthusiasm for your toddler. Value yourself more. Stop.

It's a lot - have you considered speaking to your GP about it? They won't judge you but can offer help/advice.

Genuine question but how do you function during the day? Do you not feel 'foggy'/hungover? If I drunk a bottle of wine a night, I wouldn't be able to function/do my job.

Mum21beauty don't fool yourself. You are reliant on it if you drink every night. I was doing something similar, but only half a bottle and 4-5 times a week. I knew it was getting to be a very bad habit and luckily, I just got pregnant so the day I found out (day period was due) stopped drinking completely and haven't looked back. It has been over two weeks now. I did miss it a little in the evenings on occasion. My dh still has a glass or two some evenings. I stick to my lemon water. Just because you do not drink from morning...does not mean you don't have a problem. I met someone who is 4 years no drinking. He had a bottle a day habit, and his doctor was monitoring him for years (his liver), as eventually liver can't take it. Once the doctor saw first signs of liver going bad...he stopped...cold turkey and 4 years later not drinking. He said it was very hard and at first he turned to coffee and started drinking 8 cups a day! To finally giving that up.

Wine is great, but if you find yourself drinking more days then not too often you have a problem.

BTW, OP, sorry that I sounded preachy... I was a parent who drank too much. Giving up was super scary but can be done and I've been sober for six years after drinking too much for about 25.... try to get 'hooked' on something else to replace wine. Have treats like a hot bath, tv prog...at first they feel joyless but that changes

I hope you don't drive the next morning.
You say you have a very young child. Do you want another? Don't be like the woman I know who had 4 children with fetal alcohol syndrome.

@Mum21beauty what you need now is a plan of what you want to do to improve things.

Today is the 1st of the month and I always think that feels like a mini fresh start. Download the free Drink Less app and do something else rather than pouring a glass of wine tonight (meet a friend for a coffee, go for a walk, have a cup of tea, start sorting out your clothes, whatever). When you see one alcohol free day recorded in the app it does really make you feel good and you'll be motivated to get a few in a row.

Join up to the Alcohol Experiment, it's free too and you'll get daily emails and you can join the closed Facebook group to see there are lots of other people out there exactly like you who are all motivating each other.

And lastly, I would read the thread on here in Ask me Anything from the lady who is 30 years sober. I found it incredibly insightful and motivating.

Don't think you have to completely give up alcohol at this point, just get a few alcohol free days under your belt and see how you feel and go from there.

Good luck, you can definitely do this and have a much more enjoyable life for yourself and your family.

No pleasure is worth giving up for a fee extra years stuck in Arse_Upon -Sea with some of the posters on here.

Most posters on here are not trying to be judgemental and awful to the OP, it's just that many of us have experienced alcoholism ourselves or a family member.

My step dad died of liver failure. It was painful and awful for him and everyone around him. My sibling ended their own life as the alcoholism was killing them (multiple organ failure etc) so they did it before the long and painful death. About 10-15 years before they died they were just drinking in the evening, then in the day at special occasions, then special occasions lasted a week etc.

I think the key for me when I stopped was figuring out my trigger. So that was typically 5.30. Kids having witching hour, I was either stressed after work or being with kids all day and really 'needed a drink' I realised if I could push through till 7.30 when they were asleep I was over it.

If your trigger is when kids are in bed and you've sat down you need to distract yourself as much as poss until it's passed. After a while you stop needing, feel heaps better and sleep better!

I know you don't want to and think you get more roasted but please OPEN UP MORE on here it helps having other people's advice.
I also want to tell you about my auntie who died at 44 she had teenagers didn't work and just used alcohol now and again then it became every night then lunchtimes then all day. She would go missing and police had to bring her home every so often. She was offered rehab through gps but didn't stick to it. Her gp said to her' the smell coming from your mouth is your insides ROTTING from the alcohol damage. He said if u don't stop drinking in 6 months you will die. Less than 6 months later SHE WAS DEAD. She has left her children who are messed up by this and grandchildren without ever knowing who she was! It started as you ARE NOW.
I'm sorry to be blunt but u need shocking into changing.
It's heartbreaking when u see her 3year old pointing to a photo of her saying nanny the one she will never no. This could be your child. Get help read books please please op for your child

I went through a phase of doing a bottle of wine per night. It started as half a bottle, crept up to a bottle and then sometimes went into a bottle plus a glass or a bottle then a gin. I wouldn't say a bottle of wine makes me drunk anymore.

After a while the downsides started to increase (money, wine belly, poor sleep) and the buzz was wearing off. So I cut down and now I'll maybe have a midweek drink and a few at the weekend. I sleep so much better on the nights where I don't drink and I feel better for it....but I still enjoy a drink and don't plan on giving up totally. Life's too short to stop doing things you enjoy.

Op I'm not judging you in the slightest and I don't think you're reliant or an alcoholic. It's most likely become a habit. You can definitely change it and cut back a bit without giving up entirely.