Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take it to the charity shop...

56 replies

sillyfamilyfueds · 30/04/2019 09:36

My DN is having a baby girl & I'm having a boy I saved stuff from my DD that I no longer need. Even though me and my sister don't speak at all I offered to drop the stuff of for her to give to her son for his baby, my DH text her DH and the reply was "drop it of at SIL house, sorry I tried"

So she is that pathetic she won't even allow my DH to knock on the door and drop a huge bag of free baby stuff of for her soon to be granddaughter

AIBU to just take it to the charity shop or should I be the adult and go out of my way to drop it at SIL's house?

OP posts:
Jupiters · 30/04/2019 09:38

I'd just drop it off at the charity shop.

Fiveredbricks · 30/04/2019 09:38

Can you not just message your DN or something?

MarthasGinYard · 30/04/2019 09:40

Text your nephew Confused

gamerchick · 30/04/2019 09:42

You don't talk, she obviously doesn't want anything to do with you but isn't obstructing you giving stuff to her daughter. I don't know why you wouldn't contact your niece yourself. That is the most obvious solution.

Original poster
sillyfamilyfueds · 30/04/2019 09:48

My nephew doesn't speak to me because of his mum, i messaged his girlfriend but they live about 40-60 mins away from me so dropping it of outside my sisters door would of been the easy thing to do as she lives near my nan who iv see every week

OP posts:
MarthasGinYard · 30/04/2019 09:50

I'd charity shop It then as it sounds a faff

adeo1929 · 30/04/2019 09:51

With the last update I would take it to the charity shop. If your nephew doesn't talk to you, does he really want anything from you? It's silly, but it's not worth the effort

Pinkyyy · 30/04/2019 09:52

Why would you go out of your way to help people who want no contact with you?

Mrsjayy · 30/04/2019 09:52

You know what just drop it off to a charity shop or womens aid I wouldn't bother any more give it to sonebody who doesn't grudge it.

RightOnTheEdge · 30/04/2019 09:53

Why do you want to give this stuff to your DN who won't even speak to you?

It's very kind but really why bother?
Take it to a charity shop and let someone who is maybe low on money and will actually appreciate it buy it.

Ellisandra · 30/04/2019 09:56

I didn’t really want stuff from other people - even people I was actually friends with!
Certainly not a bag of random stuff.
My sister kept doing it and it just meant me doing a charity shop run with stuff that wasn’t my taste.
I bought loads on eBay - I’m no snob! Just wanted to choose myself - PFB and all that!

So maybe they just don’t want it.

But he’s not in contact with you, so may feel rude taking it - or want to still support his mum by not taking it.

I’m not surprised he hasn’t accepted it - just charity shop it.

FetchezLaVache · 30/04/2019 10:00

It's a real shame, but it looks like not only the baby things but the olive branch they represent have been rejected. You tried - now I agree, take it all to the charity shop with a clear conscience.

Sicario · 30/04/2019 10:00

Sorry you have this situation with your sister. My sister is a freaking nightmare and I have learned the hard way that there is no point in bothering. Take it to the charity. Alternatively contact your local womens' shelter and see if they need baby clothes. (Sometimes women and children arrive with nothing but the clothes on their backs.)

TheTeenageYears · 30/04/2019 10:01

Now that you have asked I would probably drop off at SIL's but know not to bother in future. If you were hoping it would change the current situation you have your response.

Not handing over now will make you look bad, don't stoop to someone else's level, just learn from it.

Purplecatshopaholic · 30/04/2019 10:04

You tried. Dont go out of your way now. Take it to a charity shop and let someone else benefit.

DishingOutDone · 30/04/2019 10:04

Don't push this OP, just take the stuff to a charity shop and then send a card or something when baby is born.

I am sure your intentions are good but my SIL used to do stuff like this and then hold it up as an example of how very hard she'd tried to be lovely, when in fact she was/is entirely toxic. Her adult children took her side and to be honest, just like your DN, why wouldn't they?

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 30/04/2019 10:04

Take it to the charity shop!

LuckyLou7 · 30/04/2019 10:05

Women's refuge or a charity shop. That's where the stuff will end up anyway, I would imagine.

TheyCallMeBell · 30/04/2019 10:06

Yep, I'd take it to the charity shop too.

TessieVanKendre · 30/04/2019 10:06

Charity shop it!

HelenUrth · 30/04/2019 10:09

If your DN doesn't want to speak to you, it's hardly likely he wants his baby to have your things.

LagunaBubbles · 30/04/2019 10:09

Why on earth are you trying to give stuff to your nephew if he doesnt squeal to either? What makes you think he would either want or accept it? Hmm

Orangeballon · 30/04/2019 10:09

Charity shop.

Margot33 · 30/04/2019 10:10

Charity shop.

downcasteyes · 30/04/2019 10:12

Definitely charity shop. And stop trying with them. They have clearly made a decision that they don't want to know you. However crazy and unfair it is, it's time to move on and accept that. Your life will be more peaceful when you do.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.