DH told me to "sort out my grey hair"

[Nearly47]

So my, not so dear at the moment, DH said I need to sort out my grey hairs. We were going for an walk around nearby woods so I didn't bother to even combing my hair so was a bit of a mess. But then he looks at me and says: " you need to sort out you grey hair". I am unreasonable to be really angry and tell him to sort out his belly, get a hair implant, sort out wrinkly face and list every fault I find on him? A little bit tongue in cheek but also pissed off at double stardards of society I have a few strands but it didn't really bother untill now

By the way, I do have an increasing head of grey hair. I am proud of it.

Combing your hair is basic self care

Dyeing it is personal choice

I'd be going to the salon - and coming back rocking that silver fox look all over.

But then I stopped dying mine at age 39 and am now definitely silver by nature.

Who the fuck 'does' their hair for a walk in the woods???

cardbach and medusa I've gone off Jason Momoa a bit. He's shaved, and it's not for the better. But if he likes gray I'm prepared to overlook it. Anyway, it will grow back..........

Oh dear, I seem to be doing double standard judging here, sorry Jason, you shave whatever you feel you need to .....

I had a very very overweight friend ask me if I had ever thought of having a nose job because “it’s not a small nose, is it?”

Tell him to correct in himself the faults he sees in others.....it's a much nicer way to behave!

I look great even without combing my hair and although I will go out without combing my hair don't ever skip brushing my teeth and showering. LondonJax. I'd love to have salt and pepper hair. So far it's just some few wiry strands ....

I do agree that many men (42-43 +) do seem to have an over inflated opinion of themselves. They think they look 10 to 15 years younger, they are sexy and attractive, and that women a generation younger will fancy them! I even know once bloke of 48 who constantly flirts with 19 to 24 y.o. women at work, It's cringeworthy and embarrassing! They laugh at him!

One guy I met some weeks back at work (a sales rep,) said it was his birthday, and he asked me to guess his age. I thought 53-54-ish but decided to be kind and said 'ummm 47?' 'No!' he said sharply, I am 46! with a look. I said 'well I am only a year out.' He said 'must need your eyes testing. Last person I asked thought I was in my mid 30's.'

It's like these men who go on contact websites looking for a woman. They are 50-ish, (and look it with their portly, slightly-sagging physique, receding hairine, and wrinkles,) yet they are often looking for a women of 28 to 35 who looks like Holly Willoughby or Jennifer Lawrence.

Unless he is super rich, he has no chance!

@Nearly47

Oh and yeah, your husband is a cheeky fucker! I would have been so angry if mine had said that. I mean, I cover MY grey (what bit there is at the temples,) but that is my choice. Not his.

Well you were rude back to him, so you're clearly a hypocrite.

noone should have to dye their hair male or female-my dh has been grey since hi8s twetnties so id just laugh if he said that to me

how is he trying to help -whats helpful about poinintg out someone should dye their hair

Tell him the grey hair is stress induced but you're sorting that and book yourself a holiday. A very expensive one.

Once I was reading a book with my son on the sofa wearing a short skirt and my son told me it was time for me to wax my legs! .

He didn't intend to hurt me and it was quite funny, especially as I go every month so my legs are never really hairy.
But yes from a young age, women need to belong to a certain standard. Sadly the same is inculcated in the female mind. DD came back from school one day and said they had a casual teacher, and when I asked her "how was she", she replied " she had vey long armpit hair!!"

This grooming expectation is so deep in our society even children comment on it.

I’d still love DH if he let himself slide to the extent that he couldn’t even be arsed combing his hair before we left the house I wouldn’t fancy him for much longer, regardless of where we were going out to.

OFGS it was a one-off. There are some seriously prissy types around this evening on MN. I feel sorry for their OHs - never a moment to be off-duty without the RSM having a go about their buttons not being shiny enough.

YANBU, I remember a male friend, 10 years older than me, laughing mockingly at me as he noticed my naturally blond hair was turning brown as I aged. He had thinning and receding largely grey hair, sagging skin and wrinkles and middle aged spread.....

I’ve stopped dyeing my hair and I really like my grey/blonde streaks. But DH misses my lovely red curly hair.

For the time being I’ve told him I’ll dye it again if he gets rid of his horrid beard. He is quite torn I can tell. I might dye it again one day but if I do it’ll be for me not him.

I’m lucky, my husband has never seen me with anything other than grey hair - or silver blond, as he calls it.

Ask him for a £100 smackeroos to visit a top salon and treat yourself. That will teach him to keep his mouth shut.

@NottonightJosepheen

That sales rep straight outta sit-com(pton) is such an archetype, we've all met him!!! I can see his affront in my mind's eye. Lol.

Ha ha. Yep we have! And these kind of men are everywhere! All think they look like Zac Effron (when they're 52, balding, mooby, and wrinkly...)

Eeeek, I sound as judgy as them now.

Ahhh fuck it! Who cares?!

I haven't read the whole thread but was it Shakespeare who wrote, 'love is not love if it alters when it alteration finds'? or something like that.

He should love you, grey hairs and all.

Yes, why not mention his gut, etc?

I went to the hairdressers the other week and the male v young hairdresser decided to point out I’m about 10% grey. He then then said he would normally suggest a semi (I’m not joking) but given my natural colour is quite dark he would suggest a permanent dye. I think it gives me character and don’t intend to dye any time soon!

I keep seeing attractive stylish older women with natural hair. Coloured hair is starting to look fake and silly. I’m predicting in a few years’ time very few of us will be colouring our hair: I think it’s had its day.

Sometimes we say such silly things, we fail to realise how they may upset someone else. He certainly should have been nicer, but don't let it upset you too much.

To be fair, grey hairs appear on people of all ages, it's not a sign of old age it's just literally grey hair. If he mentions it again, just tell him you'll sort it out if he's ready to find you a good hairdresser and pay for the wash, cut and colour. Also mention that he's welcome to join you if he fancies to discuss a hair transplant. (Of course I mean this in a light-hearted way!).

There will always be double standards, and we women will keep fighting the good fight. However, grey hair isn't as taboo as it used to be, it's widely accepted and not associated with old age as it once was.

Don't let it bother you too much. Best wishes.

has he got grey hair?

if my hubby told me to sort mine i would tell him to sort his first he has more