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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this crossing boundaries

31 replies

Icecreamtime · 28/04/2019 21:03

A bit perplexed so wanted your thoughts as I don’t feel I can voice them at home . I have a friend that I haven’t seen for weeks . We work together and see eachother daily normally. All. Back to normal tomorrow when he returns from a big trip overseas . He had text me on many occasions saying how much he misses me , misses hanging out at work , talking etc since he’s been away . Just got a message from him saying that he’s never missed me like this before and can’t wait to see me this week. We are only friends but it seems a bit full on . I am married, he is in a semi relationship . Why do I feel unsettled ? Are boundaries a bit crossed here ? Thanks

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Sofagirl · 28/04/2019 22:26

Sounds like to me your occupying the emotional space a girlfriend should be occupying

That in itself is a bit worrying

Icecreamtime · 28/04/2019 22:45

@trebla I hope you’re right . I’m hanging onto your words . We work in a small environment so I’m dreading this . Part of me is hoping that he is just going through an emotional phase. He also left voice notes so I know it’s him and genuine

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Trebla · 28/04/2019 23:01

I'd just be open, neutral and curious. Your radar is already on alert so you are unlikely to sleepwalk into an awkward scenario. Let us know how it goes ♡

Icecreamtime · 28/04/2019 23:02

Thanks I will. I’m a little apprehensive . It feels so odd but I’m
Hoping he just needs a bit t of support

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ZippyBungleandGeorge · 28/04/2019 23:33

I do have male friends but this would be odd to me. My best male friend did say to me once over coffee, 'oh I've really missed this just having a chat and a laugh', we'd both had a lot on family and work wise and these days often meet up with DH his DW, the DCs or at a wedding, funeral, event etc whereas when we were younger we had lots of time to just hang out, have a coffee and a chat

Icecreamtime · 29/04/2019 10:47

I’ve been in work for the last two hours and he is totally normal! Like nothing was said, like we saw eachother yesterday. Granted , we are surrounded by other office staff . So strange and out of character .i feel unnerved

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