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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding reception- takeaway at home?

261 replies

DorisandDeidre · 28/04/2019 13:00

Would we BU to do this? Considering having the church ceremony and then going back to ours for a takeaway. Would you be okay with this as a guest? We have a small guest list (less than 15) and most have complex dietary requirements so we were thinking takeaway gives them the option of where we get the food from.

OP posts:
Titsywoo · 29/04/2019 23:19

Decant not decent!

Catsinthecupboard · 30/04/2019 02:54

Cookingclass, i was married 30 years ago. It's NOT the happiest day of your life. At least it wasn't mine.

The days our dc were born, the holidays with only us, vacations, even.the trip home last Sunday from his brother's house in a rental van was fun.

I don't think our wedding day rates even in the top 20 best days spent together.

OP, best wishes and I hope your marriage is as lovely as you seem to be. Being practical, creative and kind are all important ingredients to a marriage and you've got them!

ittakes2 · 30/04/2019 05:45

Its your wedding - you must have it as you want it. If your friends and family care about you they should be delighted you are doing what you want to do.

Laura221 · 30/04/2019 06:06

We had our small wedding party back at my mums after the ceremony. We just put on a spread of those sainsbury catering sandwiches ect.

I say go for it! I would personally love a take away at a wedding. I really hate formal weddings though.

cheesemongery · 30/04/2019 06:08

I agree with Titsywoo - order a few mains for guests to choose from mild- spicy/vegetarian/no nuts with rice, naans, sundries etc but what I would also do is provide the takeaway with large tupperware (other brands available) type boxes so that several portions can go in one box and you're not having to open 30 greasy little pots wondering what is what. Then everyone can either help themselves from those or you can decant to serving bowls. Sounds fab!

strawberrisc · 30/04/2019 06:22

You sound like you’re going into this as “celebrating a marriage” with an intimate ceremony and a gathering of close friends rather than “planning a wedding”bwhich is effectively a stressful and formal party. If any of my friends did this I’d be honoured to be invited.

TowerRingInferno · 30/04/2019 06:49

Sounds brilliant! Much, much nicer than a formal wedding reception and, if I was a guest, I’d feel honoured to be invited.

PercyGherkin · 30/04/2019 08:23

Are you planning on wearing a white dress? Especially if you are thinking of selling it on, I would be wary of curry especially if you are squashing people in so not all sat neatly around a table.

The idea above of making sure there is someone at home to sort it out and serve it is a good one - you want to be enjoying yourselves, not rushing around trying to find the serving spoons.

justmyview · 30/04/2019 09:11

I'd probably offer say 4 curries for people to choose from then you can order the correct amount and decent into large serving bowls. Add rice, naan and some sides all plated up like a big Indian buffet and bobs your uncle. If you offer everyone the choice of the whole menu it will get stressful and disorganised. I'd also check if the people with crohns etc can eat from the Indian menu as it would be a lot easier to get everything in one place

I still don't think a Indian takeaway is the best idea, but if you do do it, then I think this is good advice. To cut costs, you could buy a rice cooker and do your own rice. And do your own pakora etc www.iceland.co.uk/p/iceland-60-piece-indian-selection-1.02kg/55475.html

ChiaraRimini · 30/04/2019 10:38

In this situation I would ask guests to choose their food in advance and then phone the takeaway the day before to put the order in advance telling them that it is for a wedding-to make sure they prioritise it!
Have all plates, cutlery and drinks laid out before you leave. Nominate a couple of volunteers to serve drinks and to sort out the food so you can spend time with your guests. '

sima74 · 30/04/2019 11:02

This sounds brilliant, especially if you or anyone else has children. Its so much more relaxing!

Athena18 · 30/04/2019 16:30

Absolutely OP. Why not. Good friend had 12 including him and her. Registry office, no frills but back to a Michelin star restaurant. They are well off but refused to fork out for all the traditional nonsense. The 12 agreed it was a great wedding. I hate weddings and usually look for an excuse not to go but I’d go to yours in a flash . Good luck.

Original poster
DorisandDeidre · 30/04/2019 17:30

especially if you or anyone else has children

Between us and another guest we'll have a 7 year old and a 4 year old.

Are you planning on wearing a white dress?

As I've already said, no I won't be wearing a white dress.

Sadly some of the people with Crohns / colitis can't order from the Indian. Every time we've had takeaway with them as a group in the past they've not ordered from the Indian and always gone for the chippy whilst the rest of us had Indian.

Sorry I'm on my phone so can't quote everyone but to the person who said we need to make it special - it will be special as we'll be marrying each other surrounded by those we love and care about.

OP posts:
AuldJosey · 30/04/2019 17:39

It doesn't really sound like a wedding. A wedding is a sort of shindig - not a takeaway from the nearest curry house.

It'll be alright if you don't expect your friends/guests to wear anything more formal than jeans I guess.
If that's what you want to do to celebrate your marriage - fair enough. But it's not a wedding.

Do you know what a wedding is?

SleepingStandingUp · 30/04/2019 17:44

Auld

There will be a ceremony.

There will be festivities.

It will be a wedding.

Wedding reception- takeaway at home?
SleepingStandingUp · 30/04/2019 17:46

Op all that matters is its what you want, and your guests know what to expect.

I've seen wedding parties in those International Buffet places, us in weekend casuals and a fully suited and booted wedding party I ntbe table next door. Thry had a great time.

That's all that matters

AuldJosey · 30/04/2019 17:49

Well a curry isn't quite what I'd call festivities.

lisasimpsonssaxophone · 30/04/2019 17:50

Do you know what a wedding is?

Um, do YOU know what a wedding is? It’s not a ‘shindig’, or at least that’s not the part that makes or doesn’t make it a wedding (I say that as someone having a massive party at my wedding!) Don’t be so rude.

AuldJosey · 30/04/2019 17:52

Come on. It's a marriage ceremony followed by a takeaway at my gaff. That is not a wedding by any definition of wedding.

AuldJosey · 30/04/2019 17:53

Btw - to be clear - I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it - just don't be calling it a wedding, or people might expect more than a Lamb Madras.

AuldJosey · 30/04/2019 17:57

Will there be any music? Anything other than the meal provided? How are 15 people going to differentiate their Bhunas from their Jalfrezis? And where are you ordering from for the other two? Will there be plates/seats/cutlery/anything?

It's totally ok to have a few mates around for a curry, laid on by you, but is that really it?

Romcomjunkie · 30/04/2019 17:58

It sounds lovely. If I was a guest I would really look forward to that Indian takeaway. Hope it’s a brilliant day.

lisasimpsonssaxophone · 30/04/2019 17:58

That is not a wedding by any definition of wedding

It literally is though. By the dictionary definition of a wedding. You’re being a bit silly.

I once went to a wedding where the reception was drinks and Dominos pizza back at home. Didn’t see a single person scratching their head saying ‘but I thought there was supposed to be a wedding?’ There was a bride, there was a groom, there were cows and there were guests. Wedding.

If you want to say it isn’t your idea of a good wedding then just say that.

Purpleartichoke · 30/04/2019 17:58

It wasn’t a wedding, but we have done takeaway for a big group for a birthday party. Many places will even prep party sized versions for you. That way you don’t have to deal with a million small containers. Just put out the large containers for an instant buffet.

lisasimpsonssaxophone · 30/04/2019 18:00

Vows not cows! Grin

The presence of cows has no bearing on whether or not your wedding is valid.