In-laws still contacting me 5 years on!

[Marypoppinshats]

I cut off the in-laws 5 years ago. DH followed suit soon after.

5 years on and they are still sending texts and emails. I block, they change their number or use someone else’s phone.

They don’t contact DH, well not for a year, but I get something (including a lot of hang up calls but I can’t prove that is them) every few weeks. Four times already this year not counting the hang up calls.

I can’t change my number. It’s a work number and printed on books and literature all over. I looked into call/text diverting systems but the IL messages would just get through that.

Their messages aren’t rude these days (they were at first, rude and threatening) they just tell me things to tell my son, such as “Tell x his relatives want him to know he is one of them” and stuff like that 🙄.

Is there anything I can do to just block them once and for all?

Laws may be on the books in the future to make grandparents have legal rights to see children, irrespective of the parents wishes Don’t be ridiculous this has been thrown out time and time again, my solicitor told me. They also advised that all it would mean is people like me would press charges for the theft and abuse and so they would have criminal records and not be allowed to see my child.

Sometimes he is supportive and is bewildered why they are acting this way and sometimes he just says “Well call the police, it’s nothing to do with me” 😡. He was more supportive in that he complained about them more when they were harassing him!
Then, I'm sorry, but he was/is not very supportive.

If I mention it to DH it causes tension. His attitude is he has cut them off and there is nothing he can do. He doesn’t even like hearing about them (think he is embarrassed) but they are in my life because of him!

So it does impact negatively in that I feel I am on my own with it.
That must really hurt you. Hopefully the rest of your relationship with your DH is more collaborative and calm. Otherwise, yes, you are on your own.

He’s scared of them I think.
Unsurprised to hear that - unfortunately he's left you dealing with the aftermath. Are you/he open to some counselling sessions together to discuss this situation in a neutral environment so he can actually see and hear, openly from you, not only what you are going through but also the affect it is having on you and your relationship- and how he can alter his thinking about this?

Whatever the next actions I think you are in for a difficult time, OP, but hopefully one where this is light at the end of the tunnel once you are able to extricate yourself, and your son in the future, from this poisonous situation. Good luck to you and your family. 🌹

Yep, 14 years. Ironic thing is that it took them 6 months to realise we were nc.

My mum and I are both tenacious.

id tell my dh to sort it out or id leave him-its not your family he should do something

Ironic thing is that it took them 6 months to realise we were nc.

I think the IL thought we weren’t serious. Odd really as MIL refuses to speak to people all the time and rings around the family to tell them to not speak to the person either. Most people do as they are told, but we never did, we spoke to whomever we wanted to speak to. 9 times out of 10 the reason for MIL sending the person to Coventry was because they disapproved of something underhand, nasty or even or illegal she had done.

But then she’ll fall out with so e

Whoops
But then she’ll fall out with someone else and speak to the first person again trying to hang up against them 🙄 so I think she thought we’d be the same.

Manipulative bitch.

Ated - you have no understanding at all.

Christ what hideous people. Please consider reporting to police so it's on record incase things escalate.

I'd either continue to ignore or get a solicitor to send them a cease and desist letter to stop contacting you.

Ated

Consider how you both would feel if your son cut you off when he grows up, refuses to acknowledge you and will not let you have any contact with your grandchildren. Short of being mass murderers or serial killers I think you might be upset.

Them being upset is irrelevant.

Being a murderer is not the only reason to go NC with your parents?

The MIL is clearly abusive in her behaviour and if as a parent you behave like this, you don't have the right to a relationship with your GC.

"Pride poisons everybody"

Yeah, no. They are abusers.

I would blank them and seek legal advice. You may be better off letting them send messages into the void for the foreseeable and just blocking/deleting their communication channels more over time without them knowing, or even gathering it all as evidence, but it would be good to have a legal option available to you.

On that note, we have a similar situation in part of our family, and they like to think one day the government will help abuse their grandkids, too. What they do not realise is that while we leave then be now, the whole family has gathered a massive amount of evidence of their abuse, their criminal behaviour and other misdeeds and the day they attempt to do that we go nuclear - the fuckers will probably never get a passport or a bank account again, let alone access anyone's DCs forcibly. Solicitor told us our family is not alone in this approach to dodgy grandparents, and you might want to do the same. Although this was easier for our family because some are still on speaking terms with them, it is worth having a backup plan.

*will help then access and abuse

I can't help in any other way. Here's a free Pdf of the Book The Gift of fear. (((((Madd Hugs))))))🌻
the-eye.eu/public/Books/Radical%20Feminist%20Literature/Gavin%20de%20Becker/The%20Gift%20of%20Fear%20%28123%29/The%20Gift%20of%20Fear%20-%20Gavin%20de%20Becker.pdf