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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In-laws still contacting me 5 years on!

88 replies

Marypoppinshats · 27/04/2019 11:20

I cut off the in-laws 5 years ago. DH followed suit soon after.

5 years on and they are still sending texts and emails. I block, they change their number or use someone else’s phone.

They don’t contact DH, well not for a year, but I get something (including a lot of hang up calls but I can’t prove that is them) every few weeks. Four times already this year not counting the hang up calls.

I can’t change my number. It’s a work number and printed on books and literature all over. I looked into call/text diverting systems but the IL messages would just get through that.

Their messages aren’t rude these days (they were at first, rude and threatening) they just tell me things to tell my son, such as “Tell x his relatives want him to know he is one of them” and stuff like that 🙄.

Is there anything I can do to just block them once and for all?

OP posts:
Comps83 · 27/04/2019 12:09

Sorry you’re going through this OP , I’ve had the same sort of shit from my mother.
I would threaten them with the police even if you don’t plan on going through with it

Original poster
Marypoppinshats · 27/04/2019 12:12

How many people have called you anyway from books and or literature?

Most people use the email address but probably 15% of enquiries are on the phone. I used to have separate personal and work numbers but stopped working so much when I had my son and went down to one phone. It was the work number I kept of course.

Unfortunately I used this number for school and other parents and everything now so it will be a pain, but doable, to change it. I’d still be getting the calls/texts from the ILs on the other phone though.

OP posts:
theDudesmummy · 27/04/2019 12:12

Are you able to say why you cut them off, even in general terms?

Original poster
Marypoppinshats · 27/04/2019 12:23

theDudesmummy Stealing, bullying, threatening, lying, that sort of thing.

OP posts:
brizzlemint · 27/04/2019 12:30

Tell your workplace and let them send a letter to them?

TheDuckSaysMoo · 27/04/2019 12:30

It should be straightforward to set up your email so their emails are immediately deleted or sent to your junk folder. You shouldn't ever even realise that they've emailed you. Can you block their number so texts and calls don't come through?

Original poster
Marypoppinshats · 27/04/2019 12:32

brizzlemint unfortunately I am the workplace, I am a freelancer!

I have and do block the numbers/email addresses each time. Unfortunate they just try another one. DH has given me all the numbers that he had from his wider family so I have blocked those also.

OP posts:
Original poster
Marypoppinshats · 27/04/2019 12:43

Apologies for al my typos this morning. Don’t know what has got into me. Typing annoyed I think!

I think il just continue to ignore and block them. DS’s birthday is coming up and they always send something. To date we have ignored this also (only ever a couple of pound toys, we just donate) and I had thought of sending the parcel back unopened “not know at this date “ etc. but have a feeling they would turn up on the doorstep to prove me a liar!

OP posts:
IHateUncleJamie · 27/04/2019 12:44

This is harassment and I would contact the Police on 101. They will be best placed to advise you.

SavingSpaces2019 · 27/04/2019 12:49

I don't think changing your number or email will help seeing as they will be able to search for it through your business.
Police is the best way to go with their harassment.

NotSorry · 27/04/2019 12:51

The best reply is no reply

Filter the emails straight to trash - don't even open them, then forget about them

AWishForWingsThatWork · 27/04/2019 12:55

I would lodge it with the police. Harassment, stalking, whatever ... 5 years is waaaay too long for this to be going on.

GenericHamster · 27/04/2019 12:56

Police might suggest (I know nothing btw, this is from a thread I recall reading) you tell them one time that they are not to contact you any more and anything after that is definitely harrassment. Worth contacting them anyway to find out.

Veterinari · 27/04/2019 13:02

Police. This is stalking and harassment.

Cherrysoup · 27/04/2019 13:04

Don't open emails, they might be using read receipts.

Original poster
Marypoppinshats · 27/04/2019 13:12

Cherrysoup Wouldn’t I get notice of an email read receipt? I thought there was some kind of pop up with “do you want to mark as read” on it?

OP posts:
LittleElle · 27/04/2019 13:19

I’m not a lawyer but my understanding is that if you tell someone to stop contacting you and they continue, it is harassment. Harassment is v serious - declarable when it asks if you have any criminal convictions serious.

IsAStormApporaching · 27/04/2019 13:24

I would move back to having a work phone and a personal phone.
Leave the details they have as work contact and only check it once every day (say every morning for example.)
Then you will have less irritations/ interuptions to your day.
Plus if you are not answering as they expect, they may get bored as they are not their thrill of upsetting you.
Flowers

bubblegumunicorn · 27/04/2019 13:26

Technically they are harrassing a buisness. As they are assuming your number is still active from publications in the public domain (books and litrature) so you might have an avanue to go down there too!

Original poster
Marypoppinshats · 27/04/2019 13:26

If they came to my house (they threatened to do so years ago) I would contact the police. I told them this and they never turned up. They are the type of people who if told they cannot do something they do it twice as much. However, if they know the consequences they would do it in a sneaky way, use other family members who had not been told, that sort of thing.

The nasty messages stopped when DH warned them. They now send things that I have to tell or show my son 🙄. So I suspect they know the law and because they have it in writing from DH but not from me, they are playing ignorant. On the other hand DH told them to “leave me and my family” alone, so they DO know.

OP posts:
Original poster
Marypoppinshats · 27/04/2019 13:27

That should say “They are usually the type of people...”.

OP posts:
MrsHound · 27/04/2019 13:28

Hi Marypoppinshats
I deal with things like this as my job. There has been some good advice on this thread.Can I just add that depending where you live (what police force area) the police may not be interested. It is totally unacceptable for these people to treat you like this. It is stalking. I would reply to the last message and ask them not to contact you or your family by any means again as it causes you fear and alarm. Tell them if they do you will put the matter in the hands of the police. If you do this they can't at any point in the future say they didn't realise it was upsetting you. Hope this helps

R2G · 27/04/2019 13:29

What did they do

Original poster
Marypoppinshats · 27/04/2019 13:30

It makes me 😡. They are dragging the police into my sons life with their behaviour. I’m having to stop myself picking up the phone and calling THEM! Perhaps that is what they want so they can say I’m harassing them!

OP posts:
Original poster
Marypoppinshats · 27/04/2019 13:33

Thank you MrsHound. We are opposite ends of the country, so different police forces.

I have blocked everything I have from them. The next message I receive I shall do as you say.

OP posts:
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