To leave a 2 year old for 10 mins

[BlueSuedeStiletto]

2 year old asleep in a cot they can't get out of. Needed to pop to the shops. 10 minutes away if that, child asleep the whole time, doors locked etc. Friend is horrified. WIBU?

Vulpine, it’s not moral outrage, it’s common sense and decent parenting.

Call it what you will but you are displaying outrage in your posts

Some people read one word in three, interpolate the rest, make a bunch of assumptions and then just go in for personal attacks. A shame, it could have been an interesting debate.

There might not be a specific legal age to leave children alone but it’s safe to say babies, toddlers and young children should never be left alone, even if it’s just while you pop down the road. Even if they’re sleeping peacefully when you leave they could well wake up and get very upset when you’re not there to look after them. They would not be able to protect themselves in an emergency and may even try to leave the property to find you.

Please see our advice on baby and toddler safety for more information on keeping young children safe.

NSPCC

The moral outrage on this thread is somewhat ott

It's not moral outrage - it's concern that young parents reading this might be influenced and leave their young children in a dangerous situation.

Exactly.. it’s about being responsible in what you are saying, we don’t know who is reading this thread and what they will take from it.

Yes I do feel very annoyed at what Mrs penfold keeps suggesting even though she doesn’t understand the implications it seems??

There should not be a debate on leaving a two year old at home?? What planet are you on?? My goodness. There’s enough neglect in this world within suggesting it’s normal to leave young kids on their own. Regardless of what you think Mrs penfold that is the message that is coming across from you.

The message that should be coming out of this thread is that no, it’s not acceptable to leave young children on their own. End of story. No debate needed.

Language is important... people try to minimise by saying things like "popping to the shops" "dashing to the shops". How about 'popping to the pub"? It all boils down to the same thing. A very young child is alone at home. There's a lot of grey areas when it comes to parenting and the choices we make but leaving babies and toddlers alone at home is never acceptable.

Odds of winning a substantially life-changing sum of money on the lottery are a lot less than the odds of winning the top jackpot. Odds of something random delaying you substantially while you're out are substantially lower than your house burning down in a ten-minute window. HTH.

Why do people keep banging out odds of things happening? Weird.

ITS WRONG TO LEAVE YOUNG CHILDREN AT HOME ALONE!!

Forget the odds of things happening it’s just wrong,

If you’re trying to justify it because you do it then I would suggest you rethink that one personally.

Omg only just read this thread and i am gobsmacked that you would even need to go on mn to even ask for this sort of advice it really does bewilder me just how bloody stupid some parents actually are!!! The common sense answer is NO just incase you are too stupid to comprehend what the right answer is!!! OMG utterly GOBSMACKED!!!!

Hi again. Just replying to the poster who accused me of being rude by not explaining my opinion further. JessieMcJessie?

Firstly, sorry, I've been on night shifts. There is limited opportunity to use my phone and then I was asleep.

Secondly I guess I didn't imagine people would get so outraged about a child they (and I ) don't even know. I didn't really think that deeply about it on posting, not much further than "I can't see the harm I wonder what other people think". If pushed I think I agree with the minority that it is minimal risk l, as is anything in life. The lady in question could have dropped dead in the house without anyone knowing just as something could have happened when she was out. If we always catered for the tiniest of risks we'd never do anything.

I do think there can be a lot of what someone up thread called "middle class moral outrage" on here and some people have been a bit nasty to each other.

That said, maybe if I had a child I would feel differently. I don't think I'd do it if I had my niece, but then I wouldn't feed her chocolate or let her stay up late without permission from her parents as she isn't mine. But if she were, at the moment, I would pop out for 10 mins.

God no!

it is minimal risk l, as is anything in life. The lady in question could have dropped dead in the house without anyone knowing just as something could have happened when she was out. If we always catered for the tiniest of risks we'd never do anything.

It’s not only about the level of risk though, it’s about whether it’s necessary to expose a child to that risk at all. Sure it is possible that a parent alone with a child could be taken ill and unable to summon help. But, the actions required to avoid that risk (eg neither parent works so they can both be home at all times) are probably unreasonable for the level of risk. On the other hand, the risks of leaving a young child alone while the parent goes to the shops are very easily avoided - you either don’t go to the shops or you take the child with you. That may be inconvenient but it’s a reasonable thing to do in order to avoid the obvious risks of leaving such a young child alone in a house for any period of time.

Also, OP, if you don’t have children then you might not have experienced how often a child who appears to be sound asleep can suddenly wake up distressed and need their parent. After 10 minutes a child would most likely be very distressed if they were upset and hasn’t been responded to, and there’s also the risk that they might try to climb out of the cot and injure themselves in the process.

Omg its not middle class moral outrage its just bloody common sense and whats the point of going on here and asking a stupid question like that if its not actually true!! All i can say is thank god for the mums on here with common sense! And as for you saying that you would pop out for 10 mins if you did have a child christ on a bike i feel very sorry for your child if you ever had one!!! What an idiot parent you would make!!

Well said BitBored mine have all dont that at some point or another especially at the age of 2 they climb everywhere you need eyes at the back of your head not down the shops for 10 mins!!!!!

Some posters are in severe danger of over-frothing.

I completely agree that most people are totally incapable of identifying risk, I posted about it waaaay up the thread.

Does that mean that I advocate the leaving of 2 year olds alone? Of course not that would be stupid but what is also ridiculous is the hysteria about what might happen to a hypothetical child during a hypothetical 10 minute period.

Sb74 - I don't think you understand what a troll is. It isn't someone who disagrees with you or posts valid statistics.

caughtinanet, I don’t think it is hysteria to suggest that a two year old could come to harm during 10 minutes alone in a house. They could certainly be distressed if they woke up and a parent wasn’t there to comfort them. They could certainly try to climb out of a cot and possibly hurt themselves doing so. If they climbed out of the cot they might try to look for their parent, including possibly trying to leave the house. And yes, the risk of something like a house fire is small but as it’s so potentially devastating and so easily avoided I can’t see how taking that risk can be justified simply because a parent wants to go to the shop and leave their child at home.

We've fostered children who have been left home alone. Call social services and ask their opinion. 👍

Exactly kimonoDragon exactly

never ever. The most I do , is take the bins out as partner is working , I will only do this whilst LO is asleep at lunch.

I disagree that it's about assessing risk. There's a sliding scale of risk here from the outlandishly unlikely (house fire) to the not that uncommon (accidentally dropping house keys down drain) that could potentially cause significant delay. Then there's the comparison of the risk vs. outcome: low risk, potentially very high-impact outcome. And then again there's the avoidability of the risk. Low risk vs. no risk, just go to the shops later when your husband or whatever can watch the kid instead.

Yes it was me, thanks for coming back and saying a bit more OP.
I posted at some length way back in the thread about how I felt like you before having my DS but changed by view completely (and instinctively) once I had a real live baby/toddler of my own. Not to the extent of the moral outrage or crazy risk-statistics-mongers and frothing and “it’s illegal!” stuff on here, just my own personal instinct about what felt right.

Out of interest have you asked your brother/sister who is the parent of DN what he or she thinks? (Tip- if you do, don’t give away your own opinion unless you want to be absolved of all babysitting duties till she’s 16 )

Madelaine McCann’s parents thought it would be Ok too. Please don’t leave your little one.

Hanywany because it's a discussion forum and I wanted to discuss it?

Jessie you're welcome and you may be on to something there re avoiding babysitting!

My sister and her partner do go outside to smoke if home alone with my niece and live on the second floor so I guess that counts in the "what could happen" discussion. I'll ask about shop visits next time I see them.

I’ve not read whole thread yet but am about to.
In December my stepdad got knocked down by a car and killed. Imagine if he had left a young toddler at home alone. It was nearly 2 hours before the police knocked on the door, and had there been no answer I don’t know if they would have forced entry. Probably not as no reason to think they should.
Please never leave a young, defenceless child home alive.