To leave a 2 year old for 10 mins

[BlueSuedeStiletto]

2 year old asleep in a cot they can't get out of. Needed to pop to the shops. 10 minutes away if that, child asleep the whole time, doors locked etc. Friend is horrified. WIBU?

WTF. This must be a wind-up.

Here is the OP’s OP:

2year old asleep in a cot they can't get out of. Needed to pop to the shops. 10 minutes away if that, child asleep the whole time, doors locked etc. Friend is horrified. WIBU?

It’s just not written in a way that’s hypothetical. ‘Needed to pop to the shops’. Past tense.

I am completely sceptical. In my opinion, the OP did do this, perhaps babysitting her 2YO niece given she doesn’t have kids of her own, and clearly isn’t acutely aware that this isn’t something you should do.

People are responding the way they are, because the situation hasn’t been presented as a hypothetical situation, but as something that did happen.

The OP pretty much vanishing from the thread after a couple of perfunctory back-tracks just confirms that. Again, IMO.

You’ve totally lost the ability to assess risk if you think doing this very occasionally is neglect or a reason to worry. Melodramatic nonsense. Do some research: the odds of having a heart attack for a young woman at home all day is roughly 2 in 10000 per year. The odds of a significantly dangerous event occurring while you are out for ten minutes is roughly the same. Yet you all go mad at the latter and ignore the former. You are all mad.

Don't do it.

Thing is, they can get out of the cot. I know this because mine did. Her first bid for escape happened when she was a lot younger than 2. I put her down for an afternoon nap and went downstairs to make myself a sandwich. Next thing I feel something brushing next to my leg. I thought it was the cat. It wasn't. I have no idea how she did it, I can't bear to think how she did it - but one things for sure she didn't walk down the stairs.

Another time, she managed to open the front door and get half way down the drive, fortunately I was 2 seconds behind her. She also nearly managed to escape from her buggy by sheer strength by ripping the straps clean out. We had to have reigns whenever we went anywhere - please don't ever leave a child this age alone. Houdini had nothing on my DD - any opportunity and she was off.

Not really appropriate for a serious issue but I'd thought I'd just add that she is 23 now and still getting into scrapes and still an escape artist

@HopeGarden
Yes, people did used to leave babies in prams outside pubs, shops etc.
BIL once told me that when he was a baby, his mum parked his pram outside the butchers shop while she bought food.... and then went home without him.

My mum did this to me. Went home on the bus - totally forgot she had a baby. I was still where she left me when she returned.

Yes definitely is safe. I mean, you could be in a fatal road accident while you're out, but still, the child is safe in its cot isn't it??!!!

Don't be stupid

You’d rather the child died in a fatal road accident than was asleep in its cot?

You’d rather the child died in a fatal road accident than was asleep in its cot?

That's not what she said.

If the OP, or whoever, was knocked down and was unconscious she could be away for hours while she taken to hospital. No 2 year old's going to stay asleep for that long in the middle of the day. They would become very distressed and could injure themselves trying to get out of the cot and find Mummy.
And then there's the risk of fire or choking.
It's totally irresponsible.

Hi 👋
Sorry I've not been back, been on night shifts and work has been crazy.

Thanks for all the replies, friend and I have had further interesting debate about at (although neither of us has entirety changed our opinion)

Massive thanks to the people who read my replies, and to the rest of you, please don't worry, I'm at work but my imaginary children are home in my imaginary mansion with the imaginary nanny 😊

YemenRoadYemen you're right I didn't make it "hypothetical" reading it back. Friend and I were working, time was tight and it was nearly 4am, so apologies, I didn't put much thought in to the wording.

Fair enough.

I can see some people are getting frustrated with the responses you’re getting, and I’m sure the way the OP has been worded is why.

I am still skeptical

www.npr.org/sections/13.7/2016/08/22/490847797/why-do-we-judge-parents-for-putting-kids-at-perceived-but-unreal-risk
Interesting article explaining why most of you are overreacting.

I meant, mother dies in an accident, baby is alone, at home. Potentially nobody knowing it is there. That doesn't bear thinking about either.

The odds of mother dying on way to shop and back are about 100 million:1 against by the way. Won the lottery lately?

You say shops are 10 mins away so you have to get there and back which is 20 mins plus shopping time say 20 mins so it’s more than 10 mins in reality or have I read this wrong.

That article is really interesting.

My concern is less ‘what highly unlikely disaster might happen in the 10 minutes I’m away’, and more not wanting them to wake up and be crying and alone for any length of time.

NO DO NOT DO THIS!!
If you did it once, you would do it again and again and again... it is so wrong and you know it is.

... to add to my post, whether it’s imaginary or not the answer is NO.

Two year olds are brainless and fast. Don't do it.

MrsPenfold as I have made clear several times on this thread the reason it's a bad idea is not because of the one in a million chance you'll have a fatal heart attack, it's because there are many, many less severe adverse events that can happen not only to you but also to the people you interact with while out and delay you significantly. So you pop out for ten minutes, see an old lady fall over and break her hip. Or witness someone being knocked off their bike. Those are not one in a million occurrences.

Op, I think you’re only saying it was a hypothetical question badly worded because nobody else thought it was ok. Sounds very much like you did it in reality and are now backtracking. I would suggest it’s illegal to leave a two year old to go to the shops and a child protection case, hence you’re back tracking. I am just about ok leaving my 12 year old for a bit. It’s pretty obvious it’s not ok to leave a child that young on their own.

I agree, @YemenRY. But this nonsense about the mother being run over and dying is just insane. You are considerably more likely to die of a heart attack during a day at home than die while crossing a couple of roads to the shops and back, so if risks at that level should really be considered we’d require every child to have two carers at all times.

There is always a very small risk a parent could die, as with anyone else, tbut suggesting the likelihood of it happening out and about whilst leaving your young child at home being very slim is not a good enough reason to do it. If a parent collapses at home it’s not their fault, they were being responsible looking after their child but knowingly leaving your child alone then something happens is foolish and child neglect. I think those even considering it’s ok to leave young children have done it themselves. It’s child neglect so I would be very careful with this mindset.

VoteJadot
What are you yammering on about now?
I might witness someone breaking their hip and presumably be the only person who could help? Why would it be better if I’d stayed at home and no one had witnessed this sad event?