Aibu ? Will I lose my job before I’ve even started ???

[Lmh120108]

First time poster so I may waffle on, but I’m sat here with no idea what to do?!
Okay, so, i have two DC , aged 3 and 11 and have been a SAHM, wasn’t looking for work but my absolute dream job popped up , I thought I’d apply - never actually thinking I’d be shortlisted for interview let alone be successful !! Here’s the problem..
hours weren’t really discussed at the interview in too much detail. Just that it was 23 hrs per week, and that the shifts can be split over 2 long shifts, or 3 shorter shifts. Tbh I thought the interview went so badly (ridiculously nervous - I’m never usually nervous but because this job means so so much to me, and because I’d been waiting for this position for over a year , I think I was just overwhelmed!)
Anyway. I get the call a couple of hours later and to my absolute amazement I’ve been offered the job - only for the manager to drop the bombshell that shifts start at 7:30am. My DS doesn’t start nursery until 9 and my daughter doesn’t leave for school until 8:15. No breakfast clubs / morning sessions available until September now (I’ve just missed out on this term and there’s waiting lists for the rest!) so the only other option is my mum, who doesn’t drive so I would have to go and pick her up and bring her to mine (to be within bus/walking distance for kids school drop offs) and then leave for work all before 7am - which is absolutely not fair on the kids to be dragging them across town before they’ve even opened their eyes properly!

So... How, or even should I dare to mention to the ward manager that it’s too early for me to start? It would be easier for me as a single parent to get there even 8:15 would be less frantic!
I haven’t signed contracts etc yet, as I’m waiting for all the paperwork to be sorted (dbs checks) etc .. this is my dream job and I don’t want to mess it all up before I’ve even got there! But I really am worrying that I will just constantly be late/rushed and as it’s in a neonatal care ward it’s important for my to be calm and professional and on time confused
Will I risk my job!? Will she retract the offer? Aaaaaahhhh!!

Can I also just say, I am not comfortable, nor am I in a financial position to pay for child minders/nannys and my children have point blank made this crystal clear!

If it's working on a ward they can't just let people start later, surely?

You can always ask, no harm in it, but be prepared for them to say no. Could you pay for your mum to get a taxi to yours in the morning or maybe she could sleep over the night before? It's only realistically twice a week, maybe even less if you do night shifts on rotation? It's so tricky, I know from experience! X

I know it’s all shift work, but the girl I will be working alongside has decided to start half an hour EARLIER (as that worked better for her) .. I’m just thinking, would 30/40 minutes difference really be that major?

All you can do is ask.

Really depends on the job. If you are ward staff you need to be there for handover.

If you are low income you can get help to pay towards childcare .

Do you have a way you can make the hours work from September with breakfast club etc?
How far away does your mum live and would she be willing to do this, or even stay over for 2 nights per week until September?
Can you do weekend shifts so you leave the kids with mum Friday night and go to see them after your shift?
What would you do in the school holidays if you can't afford a childminder now?

They may be able to be flexible. Just ask, reply saying how excited you are about the position, but explain that the 7.30 start isn’t a possibility for you, but you’d be able to do the three shorter shifts starting at xxx
The worst that could happen is they say no.

Presumably if you were to start later than every one else you'd be missing handover every day which is risky for you and patient care.

Might it be a case of right job, wrong time?

Obviously you can ask re flexibility but it doesn't sound like the kind of job where that much flexibility would be feasible

Yes it would as handover would have just finished as you arrived and would need to be repeated therefore limiting staff on ward at a busy time

I think it depends what the job is (is it a hearing screener by any chance) If it is, it may be more flexible as hand overs won't necessarily be as crucial.

My mum has offered to stay here/ get taxis , but 7am Is a bit of an ask just so I can go to work?!
Does anyone else leave dc with their parents? If so , what time? It is obly for 2/3 days p/w .. summer holidays will be easier actually! As I won’t have to worry about their different school times etc, i think they’ll stay over at my mums the night before and I’d pick them up after work

Things are always doable if you put your mind to it.

Good suggestions from PP re sleepovers. Either your mum can sleep at yours or the children can sleep at hers. Or alternate.

Even if you do have to get them up super early, they can nap later. It would only be temporary until you can get before school sorted anyway.

How late does the 3yo sleep? Not ideal but is the 11yo mature enough to deal with any emergencies if they were left to sleep an hour alone in the mornings (last resort with backups and emergency contacts obviously)?

Have you received a written offer yet? NHS can be so slow to do anything
You can only ask, but he prepared for the answer to be no.
What will you do for childcare in the school holidays and after school? If its only 2 shifts a week could you deal it in the short term? Pay for a taxi for your mum?

It’s as a Family care assistant

If your mum is willing to help and you can get before school club for September, go for it

What’s the role? Wards aren’t usually flexible about start time because of handover.

I think if your mum woukd stay over that would be a great solution.

No harm in asking though about the flexible start.

Could you explain your predicament to your future employer and ask if, until September, you could start work a little later?

Could your mother stay over at yours 2 evenings per week until breakfast clubs/morning sessions are available in September?

Otherwise, sadly, you may have to give up on your dream job for now.

Is there room at yours for Mum to sleep over those two nights?

Did they say if 7.30 is the longer shifts or shorter shifts start time?

Get your mum to sleepover, she has offered and that is the easiest solution. Then when you have been in the job for a while and proved yourself you could figure out what might be possible re the hours. Work is about so much more than money.

Yes I've had to do this, it's difficult but I'm just pleased they are with my mum at that time of the day when still sleepy! It might be possible to drop them just before bedtime the night before, or ask if it's possible to have your shifts together so your mum could stay for a couple of days and it's all over with iyswim? Also if you factor in the night shifts and weekends there won't actually be that many school runs to be worried about. It's definitely doable, and although the long days are difficult just think of the 5 days off every week! Definitely consider all the options before turning it down, if you really find it's not manageable then you won't regret giving it a shot!

Perhaps the kids could sleep at your mum's once a week and your mum could sleep at yours one night?

Can you all sleep at your mum's the night before your working days?

When my mum left my dad used to wake me at 5-30 to take me to his mum's for him to be at work for 7am. It wasn't ideal, and In still an early riser now (as are the kids) but it worked and enabled him to keep his job and a roof over our heads