Aibu ? Will I lose my job before I’ve even started ???

[Lmh120108]

First time poster so I may waffle on, but I’m sat here with no idea what to do?!
Okay, so, i have two DC , aged 3 and 11 and have been a SAHM, wasn’t looking for work but my absolute dream job popped up , I thought I’d apply - never actually thinking I’d be shortlisted for interview let alone be successful !! Here’s the problem..
hours weren’t really discussed at the interview in too much detail. Just that it was 23 hrs per week, and that the shifts can be split over 2 long shifts, or 3 shorter shifts. Tbh I thought the interview went so badly (ridiculously nervous - I’m never usually nervous but because this job means so so much to me, and because I’d been waiting for this position for over a year , I think I was just overwhelmed!)
Anyway. I get the call a couple of hours later and to my absolute amazement I’ve been offered the job - only for the manager to drop the bombshell that shifts start at 7:30am. My DS doesn’t start nursery until 9 and my daughter doesn’t leave for school until 8:15. No breakfast clubs / morning sessions available until September now (I’ve just missed out on this term and there’s waiting lists for the rest!) so the only other option is my mum, who doesn’t drive so I would have to go and pick her up and bring her to mine (to be within bus/walking distance for kids school drop offs) and then leave for work all before 7am - which is absolutely not fair on the kids to be dragging them across town before they’ve even opened their eyes properly!

So... How, or even should I dare to mention to the ward manager that it’s too early for me to start? It would be easier for me as a single parent to get there even 8:15 would be less frantic!
I haven’t signed contracts etc yet, as I’m waiting for all the paperwork to be sorted (dbs checks) etc .. this is my dream job and I don’t want to mess it all up before I’ve even got there! But I really am worrying that I will just constantly be late/rushed and as it’s in a neonatal care ward it’s important for my to be calm and professional and on time confused
Will I risk my job!? Will she retract the offer? Aaaaaahhhh!!

Can I also just say, I am not comfortable, nor am I in a financial position to pay for child minders/nannys and my children have point blank made this crystal clear!

Where’s work in relation to your mums house?

Would she be willing to stay over? Does she have work to go to as well?

It all depends on the culture of the ward. I've never worked on a kids ward but most wards are pretty full on early morning, we start at 7 and then handover then get all patients up, beds changed, medicine rounds, breakfast and then assist patients who need help getting washed. So if you had someone start half an hour later they would miss handover and you would probably just get a quick run down of what's going on because everyone is so busy. This makes it more difficult to know what's happening with your patients and get to know them and yes it happens sometimes if you are moved ward etc but I certainly wouldnt like to start every day like that!

We have had early drop offs since my little boy was 8 months and you will find a solution. My DH works abroad so I often get a lot of support from my in laws and whilst it is a big commitment realistically your child is in nursery most of the day so it's only a couple hours wrap around care you need. Also if you just do your 2 12 hour shifts then you have 5 days a week where you dont have to worry about it at all. And you may get opportunity for nights? Congratulations on your dream job!

I worked on a neonatal unit- seeming as a large part of the role is MDT relations and communication you need to be at handover. I don’t know what it is like to be in your position admittedly but I’ve known plenty of nurses and midwives who are single mums who make it work- 7.00am is a standard start time. You won’t know anything about the babies if you start later and will constantly be playing catch up.

I would make it work however you can. It sounds like a role that doesn’t come up often.

Firstly congratulations on getting the job! My dh is a ward manager, he said he wouldn't allow it. You would need to be there for handover and it wouldn't be fair to have someone take time out in the morning (the busiest time on a ward) to do another handover to you. Also there's nobody to cover you coming in late so if were falls, it's the manager that would get the backlash for allowing you to come in late.
Having worked on numerous wards myself flexible working covers specific days of work and if you do full, half or night shifts. I've not seen anyone allowed to start later, and it can be denied anyway.
I would ask your mum to help until your youngest is in full time school and then switch to nights.
I hope you find a solution, good luck

If your mum can consistently help then go for it. If not and your boss doesn’t let you change your hours then I’d say shelve the job and apply again in future when your life allows it.

I know it’s all shift work, but the girl I will be working alongside has decided to start half an hour EARLIER (as that worked better for her)

Starting earlier is a big difference from starting later. In nursing jobs , starting late is normally a big no-no. If it's shift work and they start at 730am, that's because the work is needed from then. Presumably you are giving people early morning care - and that is for their care needs, not for your convenience.

Ward work is rarely flexible in start times because of handovers. You need to be there to received handover from the outgoing shift.

Flexibility in working days or nights yes, but not length of days or start times.

It would be worth enquiring the hours of the shorter shifts that were mentioned though and whether that wouleft be an option. Those hours may suit you better.

@Lmh120108 I was a care assistant on a ward before I had DD, for my 7AM shift I had to be up for 5 am and out the door by half past! Do you know what parking is like? I had to park at the hospitals second car park and get the bus as doctors and nurses get priority parking at hospital on the morning shift! You really can't be late, handover is vital in these jobs, you have to write stuff down and carry it round with you all shift to know whether each patient had improved or gotten worse in the night and what there new care plan is..

It definitely opened my eyes to the world of the NHS and I know now I could never go back to it, I wanted to be a nurse but now id never dream of studying in that department.

Has your ward managing mentioned night shifts?

Does the 11 year old need looking after in the morning? I think I was 10 when my Mum went back to work and both my parents had left the house for work by the time I got up. I could cope with getting up, making my own cereal, getting dressed and walking a mile to school by that age.

The 3 year old obviously does need looking after in the morning. Though I know of plenty of children only slightly older that are cared for and taken to and from school by the older siblings.

If your Mum can help out though, I'd take her up on the offer.

I leave for work 2 days a week before 7 (long commute) and my parents come to my house, difference being they drive. Wouldn't have thought it was that uncommon, but appreciate its hard for you as a single mother. I think there is no harm in asking about a later start?

Your mom has offered to have the kids at hers. This is the simple solution for now. Also agree about slow NHS admin to actually get You appointed. You could accept job now & not really start until July (or later).

That’s lovely of your mum to offer to sleep over OP. Grab it with both hands!

Just to say from a child's point of view, my mum used to have to get us up incredibly early and drop us at a neighbours before rushing off to work. We just accepted it, although usual moans sometimes about getting out of bed. I suspect this would be a bigger issue for you than your kids.

Take the help from your dm! My dh works away part of the week so when he does my dm comes over at about 7 so I can leave whenever I’m ready and she stays at mine, makes dc evening meal and tidies up. She says it gives her something to do and she gets to spend the day with ddog 😁

If your mum is able to sleep over then that is the solution. She will love doing it and the children will benefit too. They can get up at the usual time and have breakfast with grandma. Try it and see if it works for now.

Surely when you applied for the job you must of anticipated the shift work?

I work in ED and we all start our shifts together as to get handover. I think YABU to ask to start later.

Take up your mums offer for now(it isn't long until the summer holidays).Is there a nursery attached to work as these often open earlier?And arrange breakfast club for September.
Once you've been there a few months you can get the lay of the land and make it work for you.It might be tough for a while but worth it.

If you only need it for one term get your mum to stay over the night before...